BUILD A BETTER YOU
JERRY D CLARK BLOG

We have all experienced them, the friend that fly’s off the handle at a waiter, the roommate that leaves notes instead of talking, the coworkers that refuse to stand up for themselves no matter the personal cost. All of these scenarios represent an inability to properly communicate emotions in a productive way. Emotions make us human, but they can get the best of us, especially when communicating. Intense emotions can lead to unhealthy interactions with others if unmanaged. D

Emotionally mature people can tell the difference between constructive and destructive feedback. Constructive feedback helps us identify blind spots. Destructive feedback comes across as controlling and belittling. Too many people are saying, “You need to do it this way, you shouldn’t do that. Well, that didn’t work well. You definitely should have studied harder.” What we hear is we are not enough; we don’t measure up to their standards. Then we feel bad because it’s difficu

Sometimes unkind, sarcastic, antagonistic comments are thrown in your direction and as culture would have it, you ‘immediately’ react. [Blind Spot] This reaction usually exacerbates the situation and creates even more chaos and more relational disconnection. Hold’em—the ability to let these words go past your ears and into the abyss, the wall, or thin air. I know this can be tremendously difficult, but it is indisputably the most successful way to handle it. Do not engage, si

I had the pleasure of speaking on “The Morale Booster Network—Dr. John Ughulu” It is a platform for entrepreneurs, career professionals, leaders, and the general public to give back to the society through coaching and mentoring. Dr. Ughulu is an Atlanta-based Best-selling Author, Public Speaker, Strategist, and Professor of Entrepreneurship helping individuals on a daily basis take charge of their lives, businesses, and career. It was a pleasure to get to share this message o

Once upon a time, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a great battle he would face. The grandson sat down to listen. He was eager and curious – what was the great battle he would face? “My grandson,” he began, “The battle is between 2 wolves that live inside you.” “One is Evil—anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” “The other is Good—joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kin

“Let me tell you what I need from you before I tell you what I’m gonna to tell you.” —Jerry D Clark When you begin to talk and do not declare what you need from the listener, it can create chaos and disconnection. If your desire is to vent and get things off your mind, but the listener thinks you need to be fixed or receive suggestions to take care of your situation, anxiety will arise. Telling what you need will give both directions for a healthy conversation. It allows fo

I got to thinking about horses wearing blinders. Blinders keep horses narrowly focused on the task or road ahead. It reduces their field of vision so they do not get easily distracted or spooked. Blinders can prove enormously useful…or become problematic, which is precisely why they were made for horses and not humans. But you've heard of someone described as "having blinders on?” When we wear blinders we cannot see what’s going on around us or behind us, it limits the view t

Think of the last time you were disrupted by something outside of your control. It might have been bumper-to-bumper traffic, being late for an appointment, someone cutting in line, or being convinced that the slow driver in front of you is doing it on purpose. How did you respond? We are going to have challenges or adversity to deal with, usually when we least expect it or least want it. “You will learn more being fascinated by life than you will being frustrated by it.” —Ji

I observe often that we do not talk in-depth enough, we talk on the surface and too much information goes unspoken. We hit the highlights thinking that is enough to build the personal relationships we desire. [Blind Spot] I call this “Iceberg Communication.” If you remember your science, only about 10% of an iceberg is above the waterline. 90% of the iceberg is under the waterline. Imagining our communication is the iceberg, the ‘words’ we are using and our ‘actions’ are visi

In today’s world, letting go for some parents is extremely difficult. I firmly believe parents do the best they know how to do with the idea of launching their young adults to be safe and productive citizens. In my practice, I love to paint a scenario of their son or daughter graduating high school. It’s a celebratory outdoor party with great food, laughter, and festivity. All the friends, family, and the graduate’s friends are present. The graduate stands up at one point, ta

Recently I got to speak on Backyard Chat Podcast | @cbgumc with Melissa Harrison, Children’s Ministry Director, and Karen Tyler, Associate Pastor “The Experience.” They are equipping parents to take in God’s Word and live it out in their everyday life. It was a pleasure to be on the podcast and share about “Blind Spots in Relationships What I don’t know I don’t know about myself.” Part 1 Episode https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-2vk54-1223ca0 Part 2 Episode https://www.podbean.co