BUILD A BETTER YOU
JERRY D CLARK BLOG

I want to write about something a little different, another kind of blind spot for you to uncover. It is the blind spot of “natural gifting.” One of the joys of what I do is to assist people to recognize their natural gifts. When I point out these natural gifts I see in them, they don’t think there is anything special about these qualities. They are such a natural part of their personality and character, they just see them as “who they are.” “He or she is a natural…” it’s bui

I know the importance of reminders and today is a reminder of a blind spot that I see rear its ugly head day after day in my office. SHAME [SHām] NOUN 1. a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior: As I have mentioned, I grew up in West Texas in a family of six children. I was the fifth in line. I was small in stature, and we were not the wealthiest family around. Within the family, there was a lot of teasing, s

I must admit my own judgment, or misjudgment has gotten me into trouble too many times. I developed a false preconception due to bias, prejudice, and stereotyping. I hate it when I am wrong, especially about others. A couple of weeks ago, my friend Kevin asked to hear more about respect. I certainly appreciate these requests. I find it easier to relate to these types of inquiries by explaining what it means to me, and for me, it is easier to identify what things are by first

There are many definitions of pride. In this case, I’m using pride as related to being haughty or arrogant. This could mean that I'm better than you, that what I have is superior to what you have, or that I'm more important than you are, so please step aside. Yes, pride can be related to, I'm proud of my family or my team or my contributions, but I'm talking about pride that relates to arrogance, egoism, and a holier-than-thou attitude. Grace is the opposite. I'm referring to

Resentments are the quiet thoughts or feelings we harbor against another person because we consider them responsible for an act of indignation, animosity, or ill will. Susanne and Jeff, you may recall, have been married for about ten years with two children and have grown resentful of one other over time. Resentments surface when we are hurt or offended, and when we try to convey them, there is a refusal to listen. As a result, we go silent. Jeff has been attempting to let Su

Happy Wednesday. I want to thank you for joining me on this journey. For the better part of a year, I've been selecting topics to post about and guide us toward discovering and exposing blind spots and building a better you. Wow, the time has flown, and what a pleasure it is to share with you my story, strategies, and principles. I am reaching out to see how things are going and to see if there are any issues, concerns, or challenges you may be facing that you would like addi

I was speaking to a woman many years ago before cell phones became so popular. Judy was complaining about a family member (I’ll call her Sandy) who had very caustic mannerisms when she called. Judy stated that Sandy's comments were rude and attacking and that she continued to hold her own and make the conversation uncomfortable. Judy claimed that every time the phone rang, she would wish it wasn't Sandy and that she felt humiliated after the call. I told her about the princip

People who rationalize minimize and justify are almost impossible to communicate with and do not know it. They can appear self-righteous, unattractive, and totally unaware. (I have been guilty of this, you?) For example, Suzanne and Jeff have been married for 10 years and have two small children. The relationship, like so many, has its ups and downs, but Suzanne seems to be pulling away. She's not feeling as close as she once did and withdraws emotionally from Jeff when she a

At times, our lives are busy, and time is in short supply. Many of us live far away from or have strained relationships with spouses, family, and friends and many people feel lonelier and more isolated than ever before. We live in an age of ultra-connection, yet we have an absence of closeness. We can be together, but not close or present. What a contradiction – right? I frequently ask this question, “How do you evaluate your ability to perform your roles in relationships?” I

I don’t know if you have ever gone out of control to gain control. I have and it was my intention to try to control others or situations in which I had no control. In the TV series, Funniest Home Videos, I am reminded of the man who is trying to start his weed eater. After pulling the rope multiple times and it not starting, he began to bang the weed eater on the concrete, turning it around, hitting the non-compliant engine as hard as he could, and bending and breaking every