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  • Just breathe...

    I know your to-do list is likely close by and packed with tasks. It is a very ‘busy’ day, just like yesterday and the day before. Busyness can be the blind spot keeping us from recognizing what we desperately need. Billy Graham once said, “Give me five minutes with a person’s checkbook, and I will tell you where their heart is.” I will be so bold as to say the same about your calendar. Time is the greatest gift we have because it is the only thing we will never get back. Sometimes we know there is a better way to do things, but we are just so busy we do not even think we have the time to find it–so we keep going like we always have. [Blind Spot] Do not let ‘busy’ be a thief of your life. Take the time to always count your blessings, ‘practice’ slowing down. Let go of what you cannot control, ‘listen' to your heart. Be productive not ‘busy’ and most of all JUST BREATHE! Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #MentalToughness #servantleadership #stressmanagement #counselingworks #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #personaldevelopment #authenticliving #justbreathe #imfineitsfineeverythingsfine

  • Sometimes you have to be your own hero

    I love working with people, especially people who desire to have something much better than what they have been experiencing. I remember an example set by a young man some time ago. He had a difficult circumstance in his family and felt like he was not included or important as others. I will call him Jason. He was 12 when we began to discuss matters about feeling isolated and alone within his family. As I asked ‘gently curious’ questions pertaining to how he wanted his family to be different, he quickly replied, “I want peace in my family.” I asked again and he said, “I want to be praised.” When I ask him a third time, he said, “I want a happy family.” I was amazed by his desires. I wrote these things down quickly and was astonished. I then said, “What behaviors or actions can you change to give it a chance?” The key to success here was not looking for others to change but looking at what he could do differently to give what he wanted an opportunity to change. The actions/behaviors he came up with were remarkable. I utilized the principle of the Weekly Display and we structured it for him to see how his effort could affect his circumstances. When Jason began to modify and alter his behavior, everything transformed slowly over time. At the end of the week, he summarized his achieved results and compared them to his goal. He had given himself an opportunity to have what he said he wanted…happiness, peace, and praise. It can be the same for you, changing a few small actions or behaviors daily, can create successful new habits. Sometimes you have to 'be your own hero for change'; with the Weekly Display, you can monitor on a consistent or regular basis and track your progress. The goals that you set for your daily focus could be everyday activities, hours, minutes, miles, pounds, pages read, or any other things that you would like to measure. Showing up differently gives you the opportunity to have what you say you want. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #MentalToughness #servantleadership #stressmanagement #counselingworks #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #personaldevelopment #thinkbigger #beawesome #herosjourney #leadershipcoaching #leadershipmindset #conqueringfear #jointheride #successmindset

  • Blind Spots go both ways

    I have been in situations where someone is always grumpy. I mean 'Oscar the Grouch' grumpy. Being in these situations where people are always critical of others, I can find myself being grumpy or critical like it rubs off and it happens every time I am around them. I found myself asking “How come they are always so grouchy or critical?” BLIND SPOTS GO BOTH WAYS. As hard as it may be or sound, the common denominator in these scenarios is 'ME', the stories I tell myself, something I do not see—my blind spot. I am ‘allowing’ them to be grumpy or critical, and that blind spot in me keeps enduring this behavior. In this circumstance I need the courage to look at myself, to meet, see and transform my blind spots. I started seeing I am letting them act this way, and had to start asking myself, “How come I am 'allowing' them to be grouchy?” Seeking the truth about my blind spots now I can shine the light both ways. Because blind spots go both ways. I underestimate how much influence for good I can shed by being better myself. Start with you, and become more conscious of your strengths, areas of opportunity, and the boundaries that you are operating within. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #MentalToughness #servantleadership #stressmanagement #counselingworks #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #personaldevelopment #changeyourmindset #selfawarenessispower #learning #selfawarenessispower #building #communicationskills

  • “Brutal Honesty” can be tricky

    I have observed that honesty could stand to be more compassionate rather than brutal. Too many times caustic questions or statements are allowed to steer the mood of a conversation. Being honest has nothing to do with being angry, belittling, mean, or “letting off steam.” [Blind Spot] Every time we communicate, we are not just sharing the information we intend, we are making an indirect statement about how we view the relationship. This is why “brutal honesty” can be tricky. ‘Saying it like it is’ can result in damaged relationships and broken trust. Resolution to conflict looks for agreement and a middle ground. I like to employ a technique I call 'listening beneath the words.’ Listening beneath the words is about being more open, clear, sincere, and authentic. Listening on this level assures the listener will hear the truth rather than a complaint. So speak your truth, honesty is important, but always remind yourself that ‘how you say something’ is just as important as ‘what you say.’ Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #MentalToughness #servantleadership #stressmanagement #counselingworks #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #personaldevelopment #changeyourmindset #selfawarenessispower #learning #selfawarenessispower #building #communicationskills

  • Compliments are timeless

    Making a passing compliment might seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but giving compliments is powerful and timeless. Whenever you do something that delights me I may say, “Your creative ideas put a smile on my face.” Sharing this with you makes us both feel good at the moment, but it can also resurrect the same feeling a year or so later and I can re-compliment you on what it meant to me. Here are a few compliments that may remind you of someone or even bring up other compliments that you have given. “Your outlook on life makes me want to live more thoughtfully.” “I admire your determination when you believe in something.” “I love your reassurance when things don’t go as planned. It helps me feel less stressed and confident that we can figure it out together." “I feel safe being vulnerable with you.” “I learned how to be a good person by watching how you treat others.” Compliments will find their way back into our lives day after day, week after week, year after year…they have a perpetually powerful effect on our relationships. Find some time to text, call or meet to chat about what it meant to you and re-compliment them—timeless. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #MentalToughness #servantleadership #stressmanagement #counselingworks #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #personaldevelopment #changeyourmindset #selfawarenessispower #learning #selfawarenessispower #building #communicationskills #complimentsmatter #complimentsomeone

  • Emotionally Constipated

    With no teaching or training in emotions growing up, in school, or in the Marine Corps, I pushed through life emotionally unaware. Not knowing how to effectively express emotions and share feelings, caused me to be completely blind to how they were impacting my choices, actions, and behaviors. I was ill-equipped to handle being a husband and father, and after 13 years, my first marriage failed. I attempted counseling but it was not for me, and it didn’t work. I did not recognize my contribution to the demise of the marriage until my second marriage began to take on the characteristics of the first. My second adventure in counseling was a very different experience. I was more focused on what I had to lose. I began to research “emotions.” Prior to this, I had only two…happy and mad. Okay, so I was ‘emotionally constipated’, what can I say? Judging my emotions, refusing to acknowledge that I had them, and turning down requests to share them caused a backup of unprocessed emotions that needed an outlet. At the end of the day, the choice was up to me, and choosing to change went a long way to determining whom I became and the direction my life took—both in a practical sense of achieving greater success and in a spiritual sense of becoming a loving and kind human being. If these symptoms apply, it is time to deal with all that emotional "stuff" before it becomes toxic in your relationships. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach

  • When you don't know what you don't know

    So there you are, and all of the sudden you hear ‘that song’ that reminds you of ‘that person.’ And you are emotionally hijacked—just like that. Good or bad, the song interacts with the emotions you have connected with it and it bugs you all day long. “How could they leave?”, “What did I do?”, “Could things have been different?” Or perhaps you walk into work and, without you realizing it, you are put off by a coworker's expression because it makes you think of your father when he was at his most critical of you. Come to find out, the co-worker actually has chronic health issues and their facial expression has nothing to do with you, and they are actually wondering why you will not speak to them. We can often assign meaning where it doesn’t even exist. Blind spot—reaction. Blind spot—reaction. Blind spot—reaction. When you find yourself thinking, “I’ve been here before…this is a familiar painful or frustrating situation…why am I back in this situation again?” It is a sure sign there is a relationship blind spot there. Pay close attention to these reactions and take responsibility for the fact that some type of unprocessed emotional pain is at the root. This opens you to a deeper understanding of yourself, exposes the blind spot, improves connection, and helps you move passed assigning meaning to things that don’t even exist. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart

  • Yep, blind spot

    Did your mom or dad ever scold you as a kid and tell you they don’t know why you are so hot-headed —as they are screaming at you for being hot-headed? [Blind Spot] Maybe you have told your friend that they always seem to be distracted on their phone when you are trying to talk to them — while you are in the same habit of scrolling through your phone as they talk. [Blind Spot] When you hear something over and over again from different people and in different contexts, it is the same information being repeated from one situation to the next. Yep, blind spot. Blind spots are not only based on your limitations or shortcomings. You are vulnerable to blind spots with your ‘positive qualities.' Maybe you have had people telling you that you have a very nice smile—friends, co-workers, even your dentist—yet, you just shrug the compliment off every time…that is a blind spot. And in this instance, if you take a closer look, you may remember that a sibling made unrelenting fun of you in your braces, so you have become 'blind’ towards seeing your nice smile. When you don’t know what you don’t know, gaining awareness usually happens in moments of feeling stuck, or in moments of becoming aware of actions or behaviors that you push away to avoid. Being ‘blind’ to how you are perceived or ‘blind’ to who you truly are because of old wounds, prevents you from seeing yourself wholly and completely. No matter how often I was reminded to check my blind spots, I really could not—at least not on my own. I need trusted people in my life to come alongside to help visibly identify these ‘blind spot’ areas. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart

  • Blind Spots like a Mac Truck

    Blind spots are the Mack truck that drives through your life, revealing your weak spots, and limitations and humbling your reactions. I was in a conversation with a very dear friend on the way back from a trip. We discussed many situations and things we had experienced in a seminar attended that weekend. In the midst of the conversation, he said, “You know, you have very limiting beliefs.” WHHAAAAT?! I was immediately defensive and began to read him the riot act on how he was wrong. Rationalizing, justifying, and minimizing my behavior because MAN, BLIND SPOT EXPOSED! Here is what I learned and what you too can look for—the things I want to deny or resist about myself are the very things that identify my blind spots. Start listening to what people say around you. It is a blind spot revealer and can help you see what you are not seeing. When you uncover your blind spots you become more conscious of your strengths, areas of opportunity, and the boundaries that you are operating within. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart

  • ...into the "looking glass"

    "If you’re interested in “building a better you”, the dynamics in Jerry Clark’s book will definitely be a good beginning on your journey to self-awareness and building more positive relationships in your life. The author invites us to take a good look at our reflections in the mirror, in fact, he even encourages the reader to take a step into “the looking glass”, to explore the myriad of opportunities we all have in our lives. Well written, entertaining, and insightful…"Blind Spots in Relationships: What I don’t know I don’t know about myself” gently encourages us all to look for and discover our own blind spots." ~John Mc—US Marine Corp/Vietnam What an honor. I want to thank you for sharing and taking the time to let me know. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart

  • Yikes, I checked...

    Welcome to Monday. Got up, got breakfast, and headed out the door. Got in the car, started the engine, pulled out of the drive, and got on the road for a great day at the office. I checked my rear-view mirror and both side mirrors. Everything looked clear. I started to get into the next lane…YIKES, I am met with a blaring horn from the car I was cutting off. I swerved back as the other car roared past, the driver giving me the “glare.” You know the one like I deliberately set out to crash into them this morning?! BLIND SPOT…the hidden area in between the perspective of all my mirrors. It was not on purpose, but it would have been a disaster if I had continued to move into the lane. This is often how you can live your life, caught off guard by your blind spots and crashing into them again and again, wondering why you are wrecking things. If you avoid checking your blind spots, you run the risk of damaging yourself or others. When you meet with the 'blaring horn' in your relationships that seems to come out of nowhere, take a second look, adjust and make a change. Recognizing your blind spots ‘steers’ you to a deeper understanding of yourself improves your communication, and connection, and builds a better you. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #darrenhardy #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart #joyinthejourney

  • Finding Joy

    Knowing the contents of the Bible—God’s Word—propels me into living a wonderful life. It is the best playbook I have ever studied and drawn on. Based on where I am in my life, the meaning, or the contents of the Bible speaks to me differently. Example : Paul was able to find joy in prison. He did not get bitter, but rather he wrote about his joy! Hearing this in my early life was inconceivable to me. How is that even possible? He said, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through…” Today, I see that there are many ‘prisons’ I find myself in where I too can 'choose' joy. That means I need joy, when I am stuck in traffic, waiting on someone, feeling like I don’t have control, or in disagreement with someone I love. Don’t get locked in a prison-like state of mind—stuck within a trial that ‘appears’ to be closing in. [Blind Spot] I like the following quotation from Darren Hardy’s podcast Darren Daily, “I can find my way through, change my frustrations into fascinations and be joyful.” Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #darrenhardy #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart #joyinthejourney

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