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There are times in relationships when I give away my emotional remote control. It’s as if I hand someone else my controller, like a video game joystick, and they begin to steer my reactions. When that happens, I stop showing up as my best self. I stop leading with maturity and begin reacting from a place of wounded emotion. It’s a quiet but powerful shift. One minute, I’m calm and grounded. The next, I’m angry, withdrawn, defensive, or overly accommodating, responding to their mood instead of my values.   Ouch!   When I allow others to control my emotions, I lose sight of who I am. My emotional maturity slips through my fingers. Instead of pausing, reflecting, and choosing my response, I get swept into the moment and react impulsively. When my anxiety goes up, my intellect decreases. I raise my voice, shut down, or try to prove a point I don’t believe in. I stop listening. I stop being curious. I forget that I have choices.   It’s a painful and embarrassing pattern. And afterward, I usually feel regret. I think, “Why did I let them get to me?” or “That’s not who I want to be.” I know I’m capable of more. I know that true power is not about controlling someone else; it’s about controlling myself. But in those heated moments, I forget. I forget that I can pause, breathe, and choose a different path.   The good news is emotional maturity is like a muscle. I can strengthen it. I can notice the warning signs when I start handing over the controller: tight shoulders, shallow and rapid breathing, racing thoughts, and the urge to prove or withdraw. And when I notice, I can choose differently. I can take the controller back. I can act with integrity, not impulse, because I want to be in charge of myself at the end of the day. I want to respond, not react. I want to lead my life with intention, not let someone else play me like a game.   Do you ever give up your emotional controller?   Watch for the blind spots. Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Feedback is one of the most powerful tools for personal growth, yet it is also one of the hardest for me to ask for.   When I receive complimentary feedback, it gives me a warm glow inside. Conversely, non-complimentary feedback is sometimes difficult for me to absorb. Shame, guilt, and other past experiences have caused me to bristle at any feedback that makes me look bad.   But I have a new view of feedback because I now see myself as confident and worthy.   Inviting honest feedback gives me a unique opportunity to see myself as others see me. That perspective can be eye-opening. Even after all my self-improvement work, I still have blind spots and ways I show up, react or communicate that I don’t notice. Feedback shines a light on those blind spots. It helps me uncover what I don’t know I don’t know about myself.   That kind of awareness is priceless. Once I become aware, I can choose to change. I can shift habits, attitudes, or behaviors that may hold me back. I can make intentional choices that lead to a stronger, wiser, more grounded version of myself.   Feedback isn’t always easy for me to hear. It can trigger discomfort. When I hear something unfavorable about myself, my first impulse might be to deny, rationalize, or minimize it. “That’s not me.” “They misunderstood.” “It’s not that big a deal.” Those are natural defenses. But I miss the insights that could help me grow if I cling to them.   Choosing not to ask for feedback is choosing to stay in the dark. Without it, I can’t fully see how I impact others, uncover the unconscious habits shaping my results, and discover the small but powerful changes that can lead to my next breakthrough.   Feedback isn’t an attack; it’s a gift.   The path to a better me starts with knowing more about me. Feedback opens that door.   Is feedback your friend?   Watch for the blind spots. 🧠💥  Blind Spots in Relationships You can’t fix what you can’t see… but you can  start now.👀  Uncover the blind spots  that are keeping your relationships stuck.💡 Insightful. Real. Transformational.Grab your copy today and start seeing clearly! 👉  https://tinyurl.com/y377r2zv

I've found that communication styles in relationships play a major role in shaping the tone, trust, and emotional safety between people. The three most common styles, aggressive, passive, and assertive, lead to very different outcomes. What’s interesting is that I am not consciously aware of how I come across. My communication style is often automatic, shaped by past experiences, habits, or emotions in the moment. Depending on the situation or who I am with, I may shift unconsciously from one style to another, assertive in one setting, passive or aggressive in another, without even realizing it.   I wonder how many times I changed my style of communication to fit the situation. I wonder if I act differently at work than at home.   I recall not long after I married, we were having an awful fight about something probably very unimportant. We were both angry. I heard the doorbell and when I answered it, it was my parents who had stopped by. Dad asked the familiar question , “How are y’all doing?”  Without missing a beat, I smiled big and answered, “We’re doing fine—how about y’all?”   In that moment, it hit me… Who am I becoming?   Aggressive communication seeks control and often shows up as blaming, shouting, or interrupting. It may get quick results, but damages trust and pushes others away. Passive communication, on the other hand, avoids conflict by suppressing needs or staying silent. This can lead to resentment and feeling unseen. Assertive communication strikes a healthy balance, clearly expressing needs and feelings with respect for both self and others. It builds trust, emotional safety, and mutual respect in relationships. While aggressive behavior pushes people away and passive behavior disconnects us from our own truth, assertiveness builds bridges. It requires courage and self-awareness, but the payoff is worth it: a deeper connection, clearer understanding, and greater emotional well-being for both people. Being assertive doesn’t guarantee that you’ll always get your way, but it does ensure that your voice is heard in a way that honors both yourself and the other person.   The goal in any healthy relationship is not power or approval, it’s connection. Assertiveness is the path that keeps both people in the conversation, heart to heart.   What’s your style?   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

You know who you are. You've worked hard to become confident, focused, and clear about your goals. You walk with purpose. You're assertive, just enough to be heard but not so much that you intimidate. Life feels like it's clicking into place. You're proud of what you've built.   And then— BOOM!   Something blindsides you. A comment, moment, or a truth you didn't see coming. Suddenly, stars are spinning, and your world tilts. Someone tells you something about yourself that everyone else seems to see, but you never did.   You're stunned and confused. Where did this come from? Why didn't I see it? What else am I missing?   Maybe it's your boss telling you your team feels shut down by you. Maybe it's a friend pointing out how you always sell yourself short. Or someone gently reveals that your confidence sometimes feels like arrogance.   Blind spots often wear masks of perfectionism, humor, anger, or detachment, hiding fears, insecurities, or pain— that’s a hard truth.   I've been there. In the past, when someone pointed out my flaws, I couldn't hear it. I shut down. It felt like an attack. "Why don't they see what I do well?"  I'd ask. It was easier to blame than to look inward.   But over time, something shifted. I started listening, not to be right, but to grow. I stopped defending and started reflecting. And in that vulnerability, I found strength, real, lasting strength.   Today, I welcome feedback, even the hard stuff. Because if I want deep, meaningful relationships, the kind where we genuinely show up for one another, I need to see myself clearly.   Change takes courage. But it also opens doors. I no longer get blindsided by others’ comments.   When I show up willing to change, it inspires others to do the same. The more I build a better me, the more opportunities others have to do the same.   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Whether we recognize it or not, we always teach people how to treat us. Not through lectures or instructions, but through our actions, boundaries, and responses. If I constantly say yes when I want to say no, I teach people that my time and energy are always available. If I stay silent when hurt, I teach people that my feelings don't need to be considered. If I tolerate disrespect, I send the message that I'll accept it. The truth is that people will treat me the way I allow them to. That may sound harsh, but it's also incredibly empowering. It means that I have more influence than I think. Being a pushover is unattractive. Standing up with a backbone exudes health. Many years ago, I was talking to Lisa, who came to me feeling invisible in her friendships. She said, "They only call when they need something. No one checks in to see how I am." When we looked deeper, Lisa realized she was always quick to offer help, never expressed when she felt used, and rarely asked for anything in return. Something surprising happened when she began setting gentle boundaries—saying, "I can't do that today," or simply not responding immediately. Some people disappeared, but others stepped up. They started checking in more and asking how she was doing. She said, "I finally felt like a real person in the relationship, not just a resource." A little-known fact is that I train people to treat me well through what I reinforce. When I value myself, speak honestly, and take responsibility for what I allow, I create healthier relationships built on mutual respect. Where might you be silently teaching people that ignoring your needs is okay? What would drawing a small boundary or speaking a gentle truth look like? By asking for better treatment, you're not being unkind. You're showing others how to love you in a lasting way. Givers must set good boundaries because takers have none. Watch for the blind spots. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

"I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me." This quote by Jim Rohn, a respected speaker and author in personal development, has become one of my favorites. It flips the traditional idea of mutual care on its head, not in a selfish way, but in a profoundly responsible and empowering way. Rohn used to say, "If you take care of me, I'll take care of you."  That sounds nice on the surface, but it sets us up for dependence and, often, disappointment. What if the other person can't or won't take care of us? Are we then left untended, depleted, or resentful? Instead, Rohn evolved his thinking and wisely reframed the idea: "I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me."  This philosophy emphasizes that the greatest gift we can give one another is our own personal development. When I care for my emotional health, body, mindset, and needs, I show up stronger, clearer, and more present for the people I love. A couple I once worked with were stuck in a frustrating loop. He felt overwhelmed trying to meet all her emotional needs, and she felt abandoned when he pulled away. In our work together, they began to see how they were expecting the other to "fix" what only they could tend to themselves. She started journaling, meditating, and identifying her own inner stories. He committed to therapy and regular exercise to manage his stress and reactivity. As each began taking better care of themselves, the dynamic shifted. Arguments lessened. Connection deepened. They began showing up not as needy versions of themselves but as whole people, able to give, receive, and grow together. This week, consider what it means to take care of yourself, not just for yourself but as a gift to those you care about. It's not selfish. It's wise. It's love in one of its most mature forms. Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

There’s a fine line between being honest and being hurtful. People often say, “I’m just being honest,”  but what they really mean is, “I didn’t filter my words, and I don’t want to take responsibility for the impact.”   Honesty with compassion tells the truth with care. Brutal honesty tells the truth like a punch.   Here’s a quick story:   Jenna was struggling with her presentation skills. After a team meeting, her colleague Tom said, “That was painful to watch. You really need to get it together.”   Ouch.  That was brutal honesty, raw and unnecessary.   Another coworker, Lisa, pulled Jenna aside and said, “I know presenting isn’t your favorite thing, but I see potential in your message. Do you want to run it by me next time before the meeting?” The same concern, but a very different delivery.   One shut Jenna down. The other lifted her while still being honest.   Brutal honesty often feels like an emotional dump—more about the speaker’s frustration than the listener’s growth. It rarely leads to change, just defensiveness or retreat.   Honesty with compassion, on the other hand, invites connection. It says, “I care about you enough to be real, but I also care enough to be kind.”   I try to check my tone when I want to speak a hard truth. Am I irritated or calm?  I ask myself if my motive is to help or to vent. And I pause to consider the timing. Is this the right moment for the other person or just convenient for me? These small pauses help me stay clear and grounded.   I don’t need to sugarcoat or avoid the truth. However, I’ve learned that how I say something determines whether it builds trust or creates distance.   If I want to be truly helpful, I speak with honesty and with heart. That’s when truth becomes a gift instead of a wound.   How would you rate your honesty?   Watch for the blind spots. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #SpeakWithHeart, #HonestyMatters, #CompassionateTruth, #BlindSpotsBook, #HealthyCommunication, #EmotionalIntelligence, #RelationshipGoals, #WordsWithImpact, #KindnessIsStrength, #TruthWithLove

It’s easy to feel annoyed, offended, or even superior when someone behaves in a way I don’t understand. Maybe they talk too much, interrupt often, dress oddly, or share off-base opinions. I might silently roll my eyes, dismiss them, or tell myself I am more aware, evolved, and correct. It can even feel natural to join in when others make fun or criticize.   Many years ago, my friend and I were standing in the back of the church watching a man greet and present himself, according to us, in an embarrassing manner. As we laughed, my friend asked the question, “Why did God put this man in our lives?”  That abruptly changed everything. How embarrassing to discount this man without giving him credit for his passion for welcoming others.   Maybe God didn’t put him in my life for me to judge, but to see him, to offer what he’d rarely received: kindness, presence, and respect. Maybe my role wasn’t to critique him but to care for him.   Rather than thinking, “Something’s wrong with him,”  what if I asked, “Why did God put this person in my life? How can I help make their life better?”   And maybe he  was there to hear something helpful about how his behavior pushes others away, not through ridicule, but through love.   When I discount others, I miss the opportunity to make a difference. A kind word, a genuine look, and a moment of compassion can plant seeds that quietly transform lives. And I grow, too. My heart softens, my ego shrinks, and my perspective expands.   The people who challenge me are often my greatest teachers. They reveal the places in me that still hold judgment or pride. But if I pause and ask, “Why this person? Why right now?”   I   might discover that God placed them in my path not as a test but as a gift or even as someone waiting for a lifeline.   Sometimes, the smallest gestures become the greatest blessings in someone else’s life.   Watch for the blind spots. Give the Gift of Stronger Relationships! 🎁  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp   #faithinaction #kindnessmatters #godsplan #lookagain #bethelight #lovefirst #faithjourney  #christianliving #lifelessons #heartchange

When was the last time you skipped?  You know—that springy, carefree movement that's not quite a walk, hop, or run. Just thinking about it brings a smile. Because the moment you skip, your feet lift, your arms swing, and something shifts, you feel lighter, not just in your body but also in your spirit. Skipping is one of those rare movements that brings instant joy. It's playful, rhythmic, and somehow contagious.   Think about the last time you skipped. Can you even remember it?  For most of us, it's something we left behind in childhood. At some point, we traded skipping for walking fast, running errands, and rushing through life. But why did we stop? Was it because someone told us to grow up, act our age, or stop being silly? What if we gave ourselves permission to skip again?   Skipping isn't just fun—it's revitalizing. It activates the whole body. It lifts your heart rate, loosens your joints, and releases feel-good hormones. More than that, it brings you back to a moment of simple presence. You can't skip and worry at the same time. Your body knows it's playing, and your mind follows.   Here's a fun challenge: Teach someone how to skip without demonstrating it. It's nearly impossible! You quickly realize how unique the movement is. It's not a march, a hop, or a run. It's a playful blend of all three. We learn it by doing, by watching others do it, and by feeling it in our bones as children.   And therein lies the wisdom: skipping is learned through joy. Through imitation. Through movement, not words.   So why not bring it back?  Skip a little in your hallway. Skip in the park when no one's looking—or even better when they are. Skip with your grandkids, your dog, and your inner child. Let it be a rebellion against stress, a celebration of being alive. Skipping reminds us that sometimes the best way to lift our spirits is to lift our feet, and let joy carry us forward.   When did you skip last?   Watch for the blind spots.   Are your blind spots holding you back? 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #SkipIntoJoy #joyinmotion #feelgoodmoves #innerchildunleashed #happinesshacks #skipthestress  #embracethemoment #simplejoys #moveyourbody #childlikewonder

Relationship secrets often start small and are meant to protect, avoid conflict, or spare someone’s feelings. But they quietly erode trust, connection, and emotional safety over time.   I was talking to a couple a while back. After 25 years of marriage, Rachel found herself withdrawing from Tom. She kept something from him because she didn’t want to disappoint him.   For months, Rachel had been secretly giving money to her sister, who was going through an extremely difficult time. She told herself it wasn’t a big deal. Tom was stressed because of his work, and she knew he might not approve of her decision. She didn’t want to add to his tension.   But the silence between them started to grow. Not feeling good about her decision, Rachel became more guarded, and Tom sensed it. He wondered if she was upset with him or falling out of love. He didn’t know what was wrong, only that something was missing.   What started as a secret act of kindness slowly became a wedge in their connection. Rachel carried guilt, Tom carried doubt, and both felt more alone.   Finally, the guilt was too much for Rachel, so she opened up and confessed. It wasn’t the money that hurt Tom; it was the fact that Rachel hadn’t trusted him enough to share it. He felt excluded from her inner world. Rachel realized her silence had done more harm than honesty ever would have.   Tom needed to look at his contribution to Rachel’s not feeling safe to talk to him.   Secrets damage relationships in subtle but powerful ways. They erode trust, which is the foundation of emotional intimacy. They create emotional distance, replacing closeness with caution. They leave space for painful assumptions and quiet suspicions to grow. Over time, secrets block authentic connection, as we hide parts of ourselves out of fear or guilt. And perhaps most damaging of all, they often surface later in ways that cause more hurt than if they had been shared honestly from the start. Openness may feel risky, but it’s how relationships stay strong. Secrets might feel safer, but the truth, spoken with care, keeps love alive.   Watch for the blind spots. Are your blind spots holding you back? 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #LoveWithoutSecrets #HonestLove #RelationshipTruths #MarriageMatters #TrustIsEverything #CommunicationWins #RelationshipHealing #LoveAndTrust #HeartToHeart #EmotionalIntelligence

“Go big or go home.” We’ve all heard it. Many of us have tried it. Most of us have failed at it. Here’s the truth: when I aim to “go big,” more often than not, I end up going home frustrated and discouraged. In my practice, I see it all the time. People believe that massive success requires massive action. So, they push themselves into unrealistic leaps, thinking it will get them there faster. But the real secret? Tiny steps, taken consistently. It’s the tortoise and the hare. Those who achieve lasting success understand this simple truth: steady, small actions beat big, unsustainable ones every time. Taking tiny steps isn’t passive. It’s powerful. It means you’re showing up daily, sticking to the process, and building momentum. Jim Rohn says, “The smallest of disciplines, practiced every day, start an incredible process that can change our lives forever.” Most people don’t fail from lack of willpower, they fail from lack of consistency. Mark Twain said it well: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small, manageable tasks—and then starting on the first one.” If you’re stuck, it’s time to change your actions and behaviors. That’s how habits change—and ultimately, how your life changes. To help you do this, I created a tool called Weekly Display. It’s a simple worksheet that guides you to break your goals into daily, trackable actions. ✍️ Here’s how it works: Write your goal at the top. List daily activities that move you toward it (measurable in minutes, miles, pounds, pages, etc.). Set a weekly target, then track your progress each day—morning and night. At the end of the week, review: What worked? What didn’t? What will I focus on next week? It’s not about grading yourself; it’s about awareness and adjustment. The Weekly Display is the most effective tool I’ve found for changing habits and staying accountable. 👉 Download it today. Start small. Stay steady. Tiny steps, taken consistently, lead to success. Keep looking for the blind spots—and keep building a better you.     Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #SmallStepsBigResults #ConsistencyIsKey #SuccessMindset #DailyHabits #MotivationMonday #SelfImprovement #GoalSetting #GrowthJourney #MakeItHappen #PersonalDevelopment

Relationships become stuck when we repeat the same patterns, especially when they don't work. You say this... I respond with that.   I do this... you do that.   These predictable exchanges form an orbit, a familiar, circular pattern we fall into, even when it leads nowhere.   In space, an orbit is the repetitive path one object takes around another. In relationships, it's the same. We revolve around each other in fixed emotional loops, never solving anything, just spinning. These patterns can lead to disappointment, frustration, and a fractured connection. To break the cycle, we must change our orbit . That means starting new conversations, trying new actions, or responding differently, anything that moves us off the worn path toward resolution and growth.   But here's the challenge: when one person tries to change for the better, the other may resist. The familiar orbit, though unhealthy, feels safe, so they pull the relationship back to what's known, even if it's painful.   We often choose familiarity over health.   So, to create a win-win relationship, I must stay  in my new orbit, even if progress is slow. I must act in ways that show I'm serious about change without triggering defensiveness in the other person.   That could mean:   Operating out of intellect or spirituality rather than anxiety. Refusing to let an argument escalate. Standing firm against being bullied or defamed. Choosing to express difficult thoughts in writing instead of speaking in the heat of the moment. These small but intentional shifts create a new path, a new orbit. And here's the secret: sustained change is the key. I must stay the course long enough for the other person to recognize the benefits of this new way of relating. Will it be easy? No. Will it strengthen the relationship? Absolutely. Be open to noticing and celebrating what makes both of you healthier. Keep building a better you. Above all, stay in the new orbit. Are you flying in a healthy relationship orbit? Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #BreakTheCycle, #RelationshipGoals, #HealthyLove, #EmotionalGrowth, #ChangeYourOrbit, #PersonalDevelopment, #CommunicationMatters, #MindfulRelationships, #BetterTogether, #SelfGrowth