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- Convince or Become Curious
At one time, convincing was necessary in conversations when there was a difference of opinion. The longer I stayed in that conversation, usually, the more anxious I would get. The more anxiety I had, the less intellectual and spiritual I became. Winning the argument became my focus, and I lost sight of the relationship. My need to be right overshadowed my ability to listen, understand, or connect. Over time, I realized that my need to "win" was often tied to insecurity. Deep down, I feared that being wrong diminished my worth or credibility. But the truth is, being wrong or seeing another perspective doesn't make me lesser; it makes me human. When I embraced this, I started to see arguments differently. A turning point came when I prioritized understanding over winning or convincing. During disagreements, I learned to ask myself: "What is the greater goal here? Connection or conquest?" More often than not, the answer was connection. I discovered that the tension eased when I shifted from defending my position to being curious about the other person's perspective. The need to dominate gave way to genuine dialogue. Letting go of the need to win an argument isn't easy. It requires humility to admit I might not know everything, courage to listen, and grace to let the other person hold their truth, even if it conflicts with mine. But this shift brings a profound reward: healthier relationships, deeper understanding, and inner peace. These days, I remind myself that the goal of a meaningful conversation isn't to conquer but to connect. Winning an argument might feed the ego, but understanding another person nourishes the soul. I now see that convincing wears us both out and creates separation and resentment. Again, I will only sometimes get my way, and I will relent when necessary and not waste time trying to convince. However, my no means no. I may relent, do what I want, or return to the drawing board, but I will not convince. How about you? Do you prefer to convince or become curious? Watch for the blind spots. Think you’ve got it all figured out? 🤔 Your blind spots might have other plans. Dive into Blind Spots in Relationships and find out what you don’t know you don’t know. 💡 Get your copy today. 📚 http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy
Many years ago, my great friend Ron H. introduced me to a biblical concept that has deeply resonated with me: the importance of having a mentor, an encourager, and a mentee. The Bible beautifully illustrates this idea through the lives of Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy. Paul was an extraordinary figure. Once a persecutor of Christians, he experienced a dramatic conversion on the road to Damascus, where he was blinded and ultimately transformed into a fervent follower of Christ. From that moment, Paul became a bold preacher of the Christian faith, traveling extensively to teach, mentor, and inspire others. Barnabas, known as the "Son of Encouragement," was Paul’s encourager. He had a gift for uplifting others and served as an influential evangelist, providing Paul with the support and affirmation he needed on his journey. Timothy, on the other hand, was Paul’s protégé. Under Paul’s mentorship, Timothy grew in faith and leadership, continuing the mission of spreading the gospel. Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy formed a dynamic team united by their shared purpose. They exemplified the strength that comes from mentorship, encouragement, and mentee ship. This is a timeless model for personal and spiritual growth. I am reminded of this powerful example in my daily life. I need a Paul in my life to follow, someone whose intellect, life experience, and guidance can help me understand where I am and where I am meant to go. I also need a Barnabas who will acknowledge my strengths, accomplishments, and potential, provide support during challenging times, boost my confidence and self-esteem, and foster a sense of belonging within a community. My Timothy inspires me to be a mentor, teacher, and coach. These roles challenge me to sharpen my skills, intellect, and disposition so that I can be an example for others. Using the example of Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy to build a better version of myself, I find it essential to equip myself with this biblical framework to guide my life. How about you? Do you have a mentor, an encourager, and a mentee? Watch out for your blind spots. What if your biggest relationship challenges are the ones you can’t even see? 👀 💔 It’s time to shed light on those blind spots! 📖 Grab Blind Spots in Relationships and start your journey. 📚 http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- I'm Worthy
As a boy, I often felt invisible. As the fifth of six children, it was easy to feel like another face in the crowd. Dad was a good man, tough but well-meaning, doing his best with no real roadmap for fatherhood. Mom was equally dedicated, working tirelessly to keep our family afloat. We were a good family, but the dynamics didn’t leave much room for me to feel special. My older brother was ten years my senior and had little in common with me. My three sisters were close-knit, forming their circle. Even my younger brother, just two years apart, felt like a stranger in our childhood. I didn’t realize it then, but I searched for approval and desperately wanted to feel seen and valued. At school, I kept my head down, blending into the background. I envied the confident kids laughing at their lunch tables, but I never felt worthy to join them. Words like smart , talented , or worthy seemed to belong to others but not me. The Marine Corps and graduating college gave me a boost of confidence, but deep down, I still struggled with feeling unworthy. It wasn’t until I went to counseling that I came to a crucial realization : I was my own worst enemy. My mind was filled with relentless negative self-talk, and I had no idea how much it was feeding my sense of inadequacy. Through counseling, I learned to accept myself, both my strengths and my shortcomings. This acceptance became the key to unlocking a powerful truth: I am enough and worthy. Now, I see that worthiness was never something I had to achieve . It was always there, waiting for me to recognize it. The freedom that comes with finally embracing this truth is priceless. Worthiness is the intrinsic value I possess simply by being human. It’s not earned through achievements or approval; I already have it. Worthiness means understanding that I matter, my flaws and all and that I deserve love and belonging just as I am. How about you? Have you ever struggled with feeling worthy? Watch for the blind spots. What if your biggest relationship challenges are the ones you can’t even see? 👀 💔 It’s time to shed light on those blind spots! 📖 Grab Blind Spots in Relationships and start your journey. 📚 http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- Introspection and Feedback
I am constantly looking for ways to improve myself. I often use introspection to do this. I want to search daily for ways to build a better me and make a difference. I am certainly not a world changer, but I can assist in making the world around me a better place. Exploring my mental and emotional processes opens the door to deeper self-understanding. In my busy life, it offers a valuable opportunity to pause, reflect, and reconnect with my inner self. Beyond fostering clarity, introspection also builds emotional resilience. When facing my inner world head-on, I learn to navigate challenges more calmly and confidently. Over time, this practice lays the foundation for growth and authentic living. By embracing introspection, I can transform how I experience and engage with the world around me. However, introspection has its limits, especially when practiced in isolation. My self-perception is inherently subjective, shaped by blind spots, biases, and assumptions that can cloud my understanding. Without external feedback, I risk overanalyzing, becoming stuck in repetitive thought loops, or drawing incomplete or inaccurate conclusions. This isolation can reinforce self-doubt, perpetuate negative beliefs, or distort my understanding of relationships and events. Engaging with trusted individuals (which has been difficult for me) provides a vital counterbalance to the limitations of self-reflection. Feedback is a mirror, revealing aspects of myself that introspection may lack. Honest input from others challenges my assumptions, broadens my perspective, and highlights areas for growth. Rather than diminishing the value of introspection, constructive feedback enhances it by anchoring my reflections in reality. By approaching feedback with curiosity and openness, I uncover hidden motivations, identify limiting beliefs, and recognize patterns that no longer serve me. This deeper self-awareness empowers me to make intentional choices aligned with my values and goals. Accurate self-awareness emerges when I blend inner exploration with external perspectives. By coupling introspection with feedback, I understand who I am and how I impact the world around me. How about you? Do you engage in introspection and feedback? Watch for the blind spots. What if your biggest relationship challenges are the ones you can’t even see? 👀 💔 It’s time to shed light on those blind spots! 📖 Grab Blind Spots in Relationships and start your journey. 📚 http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- The Power of Acceptance
I have not had any major setbacks lately but am constantly exposed to daily disappointments. Bad drivers, misunderstandings, the bureaucracy of navigating customer service, and automated telephone answering recordings are but a few of life’s circumstances that interrupt my happiness. Life has a way of presenting these occurrences beyond my control. They wax and wane like the seasons, and while I can’t control their arrival, I always have a choice in how I respond. I once believed fighting against my circumstances was the only way forward. If I could push hard and resist strongly enough, I could change things to fit my desires. But over time, I realized this constant struggle left me drained and often disappointed. Life doesn’t always bend to my will. Acceptance became my answer, not as a form of resignation but as a deliberate choice to stop resisting what I can’t change. Acceptance means acknowledging happenstance rather than wasting energy wishing it were different. It's not about abandoning growth or improvement but realizing that some battles are best fought within myself rather than with the outside world. What a relief that realization brings. Acceptance brings me peace in uncertainty, letting me focus on what I can control— my perspective, actions, and attitude. Situations may change like tides, but how I navigate them is always up to me. Acceptance doesn’t mean I agree with everything, it means I acknowledge reality as it is, not as I want it to be. This clarity gives me the strength to move forward. Life will continue to shift, bringing joy and challenges. Through it all, I choose the power of acceptance, knowing it is the key to living a life of peace and resilience. My path may be shaped by my experiences, but it’s my choices that define me. How about you? Can you accept your circumstances and make good choices? Watch for the blind spots. Think you’ve got it all figured out? 🤔 Your blind spots might have other plans. Dive into Blind Spots in Relationships and find out what you don’t know you don’t know. 💡 Get your copy today! http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- Sprint or Marathon
WOW, I feel empowered today! I have been a sprinter and a marathoner, and there is a marked difference. At one time in my life (but not today), I loved both races. The first days and weeks of this new year often bring a rush of energy and excitement about what lies ahead, just like being in a sprint. This year is no different for me. I've set meaningful objectives and crafted a solid plan to ensure I follow through. Tools like The 12-Week Year and Living Your Best Year Ever have equipped me to be a "small stepper." I'll build momentum by taking small, consistent steps daily and steadily working toward my goals. While imagining the possibilities is exhilarating, I've learned that enthusiasm alone won't carry me to the finish line. The proof of commitment lies in the results, not just the initial excitement. I've been here before, only to see my enthusiasm dwindle as time passed. This year's key is discipline, showing up daily, even when motivation fades. Another critical element will be support. Having someone walk alongside me, offering input and encouragement at least weekly, will keep me grounded and accountable. I pray for the strength to stay focused and the resilience to maintain this excitement 12 months from now. Life will inevitably bring distractions, but persistence and the power of small, consistent actions will win the day. Every small step is a victory and a vote for the person I want to become. This year, I'm not just hoping for change; I'm creating it. My objectives are clear, my plans are actionable, and my commitment is strong. I'll celebrate progress, not perfection, and adjust as needed to stay on track. It's not how I start but how I finish that defines my success. Sprinting might feel rewarding initially, but marathons build the endurance for lasting achievement. I am focused on the long haul. How about you? Are you ready to embrace the challenge of the long haul? Watch for the blind spots. Get Blind Spots in Relationships today and start seeing the bigger picture and transform your relationships for the better. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- Happy New Year
God has blessed us with a new year and a fresh start. How I shape this year will depend on the choices I make. Reflecting on the past year, I recognize there were times I could have done better. Now, I’ve been given another chance. It’s easy to look forward with anticipation to all the good things a new year might bring. Yet, I know challenges will come too, things that may not be so pleasant. My prayer is to stay grounded in faith, no matter the circumstances. Right now, things feel positive. After the joy of Christmas celebrations and wonderful moments with family, I feel hopeful as I look ahead to what this year may unfold. Specifically, I plan to focus on continued learning, maintaining good health, and fostering new friendships. I want to share more smiles than I can count and face each day with love in my heart, ready to give it freely whenever I can. For instance, just this morning at the pet store, I had a small but impactful moment. As I walked in, I noticed a man coming out, carrying a large bag and looking tired. I thought, here’s a chance to share kindness. I greeted him with a cheerful “Good morning!” At first, he seemed startled, but then his face lit up with a big, welcoming smile. It was a simple interaction, but it reminded me how powerful kindness can be—and how much joy it brings. This year, I’ll give my best effort again. Some results will be great, while others may fall short. Regardless, I’ll remind myself: Good job, keep going. I also want to take a moment to thank all of you. Your likes, loves, shares, and comments on my posts mean so much. While I may not always reply, I hope my words find their way to you, making a difference in your lives. As we step into this new year, I wish you peace, hope, grace, and abundant love. May you be equipped to face whatever the year brings and may God’s blessings walk with you every step of the way. Love you all, Jerry
- Different than Me
It's easy to notice differences in myself and others. We are all different. Others think differently, act, and value things that might not align with my beliefs or preferences. Does that make me better or worse than them? No. It simply makes me different. I love Will Rogers's quote, "A stranger is a friend you ain't met yet." I find it easy to compare myself to others, but this often leads to judgment. If someone's choices or opinions don't mirror mine, I might be tempted to think they're wrong or that I am. But this kind of thinking misses the bigger picture. Differences aren't about better or worse; they're about how God made each of us differently. When I judge others for being different from me, I shut out understanding and connection—and even question God's creation. It's easy to criticize what I don't understand, but doing so stops me from growing. Judgment creates walls; curiosity builds bridges. Instead of seeing differences as a challenge, what if I viewed them as opportunities? When I encounter someone whose life experience is unlike mine, I have a chance to learn. Their perspective might reveal blind spots in my own thinking or open my eyes to new possibilities. Their struggles might teach me empathy, and their strengths could inspire me to grow in ways I hadn't considered. When I choose to embrace differences, I discover that they don't threaten my identity; they expand it. I become more compassionate, understanding, and open-minded. I learned that a person's value isn't determined by how similar they are to me but by their intrinsic worth as a human being. So, no, people being different doesn't make me better or worse, nor does it give me the right to judge. It gives me a chance to grow. If I'm willing to look beyond the surface, I'll find that our differences are the very thing that makes us all valuable. How about you? Do you judge, or are you curious? Watch for the blind spots. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- Take Care of My People
I vividly remember a pivotal moment during my counseling journey. As I allowed the process to work within me, I heard God’s gentle voice: “Jerry, take care of my people, and I will take care of you.” It was a message that resonated deeply, stirring something within me. Around that same time, I found myself singing “Here I Am, Lord” at church, feeling an undeniable conviction to answer His call. Since stepping into the role of counselor, I’ve discovered an extraordinary truth: the nicest, most courageous people walk through my door. It is an incredible honor to be invited into their lives and to walk beside them during their most chaotic and troubled times. I quickly discovered that the work was deeply rewarding. The people who sought counsel were often the kindest souls, brave enough to admit they needed help. Their trust humbles me, and their resilience inspires me. Every session reminds me of the sacred nature of this work and the privilege of being part of someone’s journey toward healing. Truly, it is a blessing to answer this call and to know that it is serving others. I noticed a pattern: mean-spirited individuals rarely came unless dragged in by a spouse or family member. In contrast, those who came willingly never fail to amaze me with their courage and humility. There is something sacred about their trust in me. They opened up about their lives, wounds, and dreams humbly. Each session felt like stepping onto holy ground, where transformation could begin. For me, counseling isn’t a profession with an expiration date; it is a calling that could last a lifetime. Every day offers an opportunity to help someone find clarity, healing, or hope. Reflecting on this journey, I am reminded of that small voice that echoes in my mind— God’s promise has proven true; as I care for His people, I am thoroughly cared for. How about you? Have you answered your call? Is your work purposeful and satisfying? Watch for the blind spots. Start seeing the bigger picture and transform your relationships for the better, get Blind Spots in Relationships today. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- Christmas Away from Home
It was Christmas Eve, 1966, and we were on an operation at a small place called Khe Sanh. A ceasefire was in effect, offering a rare sense of relative safety. We lived in foxholes and shelter halves, the comforts of home far out of reach. We had nothing to represent the Christmas Season, but one of the guys had received a 4-track tape recorder from home. The catch? He only had one tape, a collection of songs by The Righteous Brothers, not a single Christmas carol on it. He turned the volume up late that night, and their soulful voices filled the night air. We listened to: Unchained Melody You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ (You’re My) Soul and Inspiration Ebb Tide Georgia on My Mind ...and a few others, over and over again. You may not be familiar with these songs, but they are sad songs about love and relationships. Hidden tears flowed like streams, and no one talked. That Christmas Eve, thousands of miles from home, those songs became the soundtrack of our lives, a bittersweet reminder of where we were and the lives we’d left behind. It was my first Christmas away, and my mind was filled with thoughts of my family celebrating back home, mixed with concern for me being so far away. Memories of past Christmases came flooding back—the fun, the laughter, the warmth of being together. I felt a deep sadness, but I didn’t want my family to feel the same. Mom and Dad relied on Walter Cronkite’s news reports about the war, adding to their unease. Not knowing when to worry meant they worried all the time. Today, many servicemen and women are away from home on this special day. These are the folks ensuring the safety and protection of this great nation. Many of their loved ones think of them with hopeful thoughts of their joy and safety, so reaching out to families with a loved one in the service would be honorable. Reaching out to any serviceman or woman would be a true gift to them. How about you? Are there people you could reach out to this special Christmas but haven’t yet? Watch for the blind spots. Start seeing the bigger picture and transform your relationships for the better get Blind Spots in Relationships today. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- I Matter
Today's sermon emphasized the importance of recognizing that “I matter”, and so do others, encouraging inclusivity not just during Christmas but every day. During this season, many feel alone, sad, and unworthy. Who will not be at my table because I didn't reach out and let them know they are important to me? The ones I overlook may need to be reminded that they matter. Recognizing that I matter is personal acceptance of my worth, not based on achievements or others' opinions, but simply because I exist. It’s a reminder that my presence matters, my actions, thoughts, and feelings have impact, even in unseen ways. By valuing myself through self-care, setting boundaries, and pursuing joy, I not only prioritize my well-being but also enhance my ability to contribute positively to the world. Acknowledging my worth also serves as an invitation to others. When I believe in my values, I inspire others to see their own. My confidence and self-respect create a ripple effect, demonstrating that everyone deserves love, respect, and care. This authenticity fosters deeper, more meaningful connections. Knowing I matter means understanding my voice deserves to be heard—whether speaking up for myself, sharing my beliefs, or expressing my emotions. By doing so, I inspire others to value their voices too. Ultimately, embracing “I matter” is about belonging. It's the recognition that I have a place where my existence contributes to the greater whole. Embracing this truth allows me to approach others with compassion, acknowledging that they, too, matter profoundly. Living with the understanding that you and I matter creates a world where everyone feels seen, valued, and connected. It begins with embracing this truth for ourselves and extending it outward, one interaction at a time. How about you? Does recognizing that you matter impact how others see themselves? Watch for the blind spots. Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships and start seeing the bigger picture, transform your relationships for the better. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
- Echoes
It's been a long time since I've been in a place where echoes were noticeable. As a child, I remember visiting places where we would yell to hear the reverberations. This was endlessly fascinating for a boy from West Texas, where echoes were rare. Recently, I found myself reflecting on the word "echo " and realized that, in a way, I am surrounded by echoes. My words and actions may not be labeled as such, but they behave similarly. They bounce around, influencing those around me, and inevitably return to me in one form or another. My words and actions are never isolated events; they ripple outward, shaping the world around me. Like the reverberating sound of an echo, their effects can return to me amplified, sometimes in ways I least expect. Whether good or bad, these echoes travel through my family and community, influencing the lives of others and creating waves that persist far beyond the moment. Positive words or experiences, such as love, encouragement, or gratitude, uplift and inspire. A kind word can brighten someone's day, instill confidence in a child, or strengthen community bonds. These moments may seem small, but their impact often outlives the speaker, as those who receive kindness are more likely to pass it along. Over time, these echoes weave a fabric of connection, trust, and resilience that benefits everyone. Conversely, negative words and actions leave a different kind of legacy. A harsh remark, a thoughtless action, or persistent criticism can sow seeds of doubt, resentment, or discord. These echoes often linger longer than I realize, fracturing relationships and eroding trust. Worse, they can propagate through generations, as the hurt caused by one person is unintentionally passed down to others. Understanding the lasting impact of my behavior offers a profound opportunity. By choosing my words carefully and acting with intention, I can send out echoes of hope, healing, and unity. I may never fully see the reach of these positive ripples, but rest assured, they exist. How about you? Are your echoes building bridges or walls? Watch for the blind spots. Start seeing the bigger picture and transform your relationships for the better. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp