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In my practice, I notice families are fractured by their many differing points of view. Some are more focused on themselves than the family. Unity and cohesion are missing. They start to blame, condemn and become critical of their perception of family members and situations. [Blind Spot] When this arises, I like the idea of utilizing the “spirit of the family.” The “spirit of the family” might be words like respect, peace, harmony, joy, love, care, or any word that the family could rally around to encourage and create solidarity. When the constructive idea of the “spirit of the family” comes along, there is a choice in the way the family interacts, communicates, perceives, and feels toward one another. Knowing that with every breath, and every word spoken, we are intentionally choosing the potential outcome of family members to feel safe, secure, and healthy. The "spirit of the family" creates a household where we, “stop examining each 'them', and start examining ourselves.” Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

‘Why’ in relationships is caustic. We can be quick to ask the ‘why’ questions. "Why did you not call?" "Why are you late?" "Why are you looking at me that way?" Did it make you feel a little defensive reading those? It's because the ‘why’ question is charged with frustration, emotion, hidden agendas, and sometimes anger. It is cultural to look at the other person rather than to look inside. [Blind Spot] ‘Why’ provokes and puts people on the defensive. ‘Why’ is asking for justification that cannot remedy the anxiety being expressed. What can we do instead? Let’s flip the script on the ‘why’ questions. Rather than saying, "Why are you late?" I could say—I was worried, I wanted to hear your voice, I missed you, I was afraid something could have happened to you—showing you care and empathize. Small adjustments that bring radical change in relationships. Flip the script today, the change you experience will be amazing. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

I have found that acting more emotional than intellectual during the height of anxiety causes regretful actions and decisions. The more anxious I am the less intellectual. The more intellectual I am the less anxious. I view anxiety and intellect as inversely proportionate. When one goes up, the other goes down. The key to this concept is knowing when anxiety has overridden intellect. When you find yourself in this situation, remember, that you are in peak performance to make the best, healthiest, most productive choices when your intellect is equal to your emotions. Operating within this “balance” enables you to master your skills in decision-making. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset

This is my “West Texas” term, referring to isolation, dismissal, or rejection. “Cut from the herd” is when one member of the family is excluded from the rest. In nature, animals establish herds for protection against their predators and are safe because the herd protects each other. It is necessary to 'cut' someone because of their poor choices, such as drugs, alcohol, verbal, or physical abuse to name a few. Cutting someone for these reasons protects those within the herd, and helps teach the person who has been ‘cut’ that this behavior weakens and threatens the health of the herd and will not be tolerated. Strong herds are powerful and regenerate strength. Strong families are the same. Have you ever found yourself cut from the herd? Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset

Knowing the contents of the Bible—God’s Word—propels me into living a wonderful life. It is the best playbook I have ever studied and drawn on. Based on where I am in my life, the meaning, or the contents of the Bible speaks to me differently. Example : Paul was able to find joy in prison. He did not get bitter, but rather he wrote about his joy! Hearing this in my early life was inconceivable to me. How is that even possible? He said, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through…” Today, I see that there are many ‘prisons’ I find myself in where I too can 'choose' joy. That means I need joy, when I am stuck in traffic, waiting on someone, feeling like I don’t have control, or in disagreement with someone I love. Don’t get locked in a prison-like state of mind—stuck within a trial that ‘appears’ to be closing in. [Blind Spot] I like the following quotation from Darren Hardy’s podcast Darren Daily, “I can find my way through, change my frustrations into fascinations and be joyful.” Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #darrenhardy #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart #joyinthejourney

Welcome to Monday. Got up, got breakfast, and headed out the door. Got in the car, started the engine, pulled out of the drive, and got on the road for a great day at the office. I checked my rear-view mirror and both side mirrors. Everything looked clear. I started to get into the next lane…YIKES, I am met with a blaring horn from the car I was cutting off. I swerved back as the other car roared past, the driver giving me the “glare.” You know the one like I deliberately set out to crash into them this morning?! BLIND SPOT…the hidden area in between the perspective of all my mirrors. It was not on purpose, but it would have been a disaster if I had continued to move into the lane. This is often how you can live your life, caught off guard by your blind spots and crashing into them again and again, wondering why you are wrecking things. If you avoid checking your blind spots, you run the risk of damaging yourself or others. When you meet with the 'blaring horn' in your relationships that seems to come out of nowhere, take a second look, adjust and make a change. Recognizing your blind spots ‘steers’ you to a deeper understanding of yourself improves your communication, and connection, and builds a better you. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #darrenhardy #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart #joyinthejourney

"If you’re interested in “building a better you”, the dynamics in Jerry Clark’s book will definitely be a good beginning on your journey to self-awareness and building more positive relationships in your life. The author invites us to take a good look at our reflections in the mirror, in fact, he even encourages the reader to take a step into “the looking glass”, to explore the myriad of opportunities we all have in our lives. Well written, entertaining, and insightful…"Blind Spots in Relationships: What I don’t know I don’t know about myself” gently encourages us all to look for and discover our own blind spots." ~John Mc—US Marine Corp/Vietnam What an honor. I want to thank you for sharing and taking the time to let me know. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart

Blind spots are the Mack truck that drives through your life, revealing your weak spots, and limitations and humbling your reactions. I was in a conversation with a very dear friend on the way back from a trip. We discussed many situations and things we had experienced in a seminar attended that weekend. In the midst of the conversation, he said, “You know, you have very limiting beliefs.” WHHAAAAT?! I was immediately defensive and began to read him the riot act on how he was wrong. Rationalizing, justifying, and minimizing my behavior because MAN, BLIND SPOT EXPOSED! Here is what I learned and what you too can look for—the things I want to deny or resist about myself are the very things that identify my blind spots. Start listening to what people say around you. It is a blind spot revealer and can help you see what you are not seeing. When you uncover your blind spots you become more conscious of your strengths, areas of opportunity, and the boundaries that you are operating within. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart

Did your mom or dad ever scold you as a kid and tell you they don’t know why you are so hot-headed —as they are screaming at you for being hot-headed? [Blind Spot] Maybe you have told your friend that they always seem to be distracted on their phone when you are trying to talk to them — while you are in the same habit of scrolling through your phone as they talk. [Blind Spot] When you hear something over and over again from different people and in different contexts, it is the same information being repeated from one situation to the next. Yep, blind spot. Blind spots are not only based on your limitations or shortcomings. You are vulnerable to blind spots with your ‘positive qualities.' Maybe you have had people telling you that you have a very nice smile—friends, co-workers, even your dentist—yet, you just shrug the compliment off every time…that is a blind spot. And in this instance, if you take a closer look, you may remember that a sibling made unrelenting fun of you in your braces, so you have become 'blind’ towards seeing your nice smile. When you don’t know what you don’t know, gaining awareness usually happens in moments of feeling stuck, or in moments of becoming aware of actions or behaviors that you push away to avoid. Being ‘blind’ to how you are perceived or ‘blind’ to who you truly are because of old wounds, prevents you from seeing yourself wholly and completely. No matter how often I was reminded to check my blind spots, I really could not—at least not on my own. I need trusted people in my life to come alongside to help visibly identify these ‘blind spot’ areas. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart

So there you are, and all of the sudden you hear ‘that song’ that reminds you of ‘that person.’ And you are emotionally hijacked—just like that. Good or bad, the song interacts with the emotions you have connected with it and it bugs you all day long. “How could they leave?”, “What did I do?”, “Could things have been different?” Or perhaps you walk into work and, without you realizing it, you are put off by a coworker's expression because it makes you think of your father when he was at his most critical of you. Come to find out, the co-worker actually has chronic health issues and their facial expression has nothing to do with you, and they are actually wondering why you will not speak to them. We can often assign meaning where it doesn’t even exist. Blind spot—reaction. Blind spot—reaction. Blind spot—reaction. When you find yourself thinking, “I’ve been here before…this is a familiar painful or frustrating situation…why am I back in this situation again?” It is a sure sign there is a relationship blind spot there. Pay close attention to these reactions and take responsibility for the fact that some type of unprocessed emotional pain is at the root. This opens you to a deeper understanding of yourself, exposes the blind spot, improves connection, and helps you move passed assigning meaning to things that don’t even exist. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart

With no teaching or training in emotions growing up, in school, or in the Marine Corps, I pushed through life emotionally unaware. Not knowing how to effectively express emotions and share feelings, caused me to be completely blind to how they were impacting my choices, actions, and behaviors. I was ill-equipped to handle being a husband and father, and after 13 years, my first marriage failed. I attempted counseling but it was not for me, and it didn’t work. I did not recognize my contribution to the demise of the marriage until my second marriage began to take on the characteristics of the first. My second adventure in counseling was a very different experience. I was more focused on what I had to lose. I began to research “emotions.” Prior to this, I had only two…happy and mad. Okay, so I was ‘emotionally constipated’, what can I say? Judging my emotions, refusing to acknowledge that I had them, and turning down requests to share them caused a backup of unprocessed emotions that needed an outlet. At the end of the day, the choice was up to me, and choosing to change went a long way to determining whom I became and the direction my life took—both in a practical sense of achieving greater success and in a spiritual sense of becoming a loving and kind human being. If these symptoms apply, it is time to deal with all that emotional "stuff" before it becomes toxic in your relationships. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach

Making a passing compliment might seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but giving compliments is powerful and timeless. Whenever you do something that delights me I may say, “Your creative ideas put a smile on my face.” Sharing this with you makes us both feel good at the moment, but it can also resurrect the same feeling a year or so later and I can re-compliment you on what it meant to me. Here are a few compliments that may remind you of someone or even bring up other compliments that you have given. “Your outlook on life makes me want to live more thoughtfully.” “I admire your determination when you believe in something.” “I love your reassurance when things don’t go as planned. It helps me feel less stressed and confident that we can figure it out together." “I feel safe being vulnerable with you.” “I learned how to be a good person by watching how you treat others.” Compliments will find their way back into our lives day after day, week after week, year after year…they have a perpetually powerful effect on our relationships. Find some time to text, call or meet to chat about what it meant to you and re-compliment them—timeless. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #MentalToughness #servantleadership #stressmanagement #counselingworks #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #personaldevelopment #changeyourmindset #selfawarenessispower #learning #selfawarenessispower #building #communicationskills #complimentsmatter #complimentsomeone