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I often talk about blind spots and the importance of listening to others' input. How is feedback something I need to heed or dismiss? The answer lies in the effectiveness of the relationship. If I'm attracting others, things are likely fine. If I'm repelling them, I must check for my blind spots.   It also boils down to exuding confidence versus arrogance. Confidence and arrogance might seem similar at first glance, but they are worlds apart in essence and impact. Understanding the distinction is crucial for personal growth and healthy interactions.   Confidence  stems from a genuine sense of self-assurance and self-worth. When I lead with confidence, I believe in my abilities without needing validation from others. I am comfortable in my skin, open to feedback, and willing to acknowledge mistakes. This humility allows me to grow and learn continuously. Confidence is attractive because it inspires trust and respect. When I'm confident, I exude a positive energy that encourages collaboration and fosters positive relationships.   Conversely, arrogance  is rooted in insecurity and a desire to appear superior. Springing from arrogance, I overestimate my abilities and dismiss the contributions of others. I seek constant validation and fear of being seen as flawed or inferior. This attitude can alienate colleagues and friends, as arrogance often manifests as condescension or dismissiveness. Rather than building others up, arrogant people tend to put others down to feel better about themselves.   The key differences between the two can be seen in behavior and mindset. A confident person celebrates others' successes and is not threatened by them. They listen actively and appreciate different perspectives. In contrast, an arrogant person sees others' achievements as competition and struggles to accept differing viewpoints. They dominate conversations and rarely show genuine interest in others.   In essence, confidence builds bridges, while arrogance builds walls. Striving for confidence means embracing vulnerability, continuous learning, and mutual respect. It's about knowing your worth without diminishing the value of others.   How about you? Are you confident or arrogant?   Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback, it means so much. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

A few months back, I chatted with a woman grappling with the harmful habit of constantly comparing herself to others. Unsurprisingly, she always felt she fell short. She opened up about being teased as a child, which shattered her confidence and impacted her current relationships. During our conversation, it became clear that she placed more value on others' opinions than her self-knowledge, leaving her trapped by negative comments.   We explored the phrase, "Don't measure yourself by someone else's yardstick."  This struck a chord with her, leading her to carry a small ruler in her purse as a reminder to assess herself based on her standards. This simple act symbolized her commitment to recognizing her true worth and helped her shift toward a more positive self-image. She also created and embraced this mantra: "I am a beautiful, intelligent, loving, and caring woman."   Letting others' negative opinions shape how I see myself is alarmingly easy. But here's the kicker— doing so can be downright hazardous to my mental and emotional well-being.   I feel inadequate or unworthy when I start believing the negative things others say. This erosion of self-confidence can hinder my ability to take on new challenges, stifling personal and professional growth.   Moreover, constantly internalizing negative feedback can lead to anxiety and depression. The more I dwell on unfavorable opinions, the deeper I feel hopeless and despair. This creates a vicious cycle that's tough to break free from.   I must remember that my view of myself should be based on my values and beliefs, not someone else's negative narrative. By fostering a positive self-image, I can protect my mental health and lead a more fulfilling life. So, next time negativity comes knocking, I let it bounce off my shield of self-confidence!   Interestingly enough,  I was in a sandwich shop for lunch a few days ago, and my friend walked in and stood in line to order. She nonchalantly reached into her purse and exposed her ruler. We both smiled.   How about you?  Do you allow others to dictate your value?   Watch for the blind spots.     Thank you for your feedback. Like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

One of my most significant blind spots was my relentless pursuit of details to prove others wrong. I found immense satisfaction in pointing out errors and discrepancies during conversations. I didn't realize my behavior came across as contentious and annoying, pushing people away. I often heard, "You are difficult to talk to," and would respond with what I thought was an eloquent rebuttal, but others found it repelling. Today, I call this "looking for fly poop in the pepper." As I began my journey of introspection, I uncovered this, among many other blind spots. Now, I understand the healing effect of being able to laugh at myself. Uncovering blind spots has become a constant and uplifting journey. Unknowingly, I thrived on the satisfaction of proving others wrong. Details were my domain, my weapon, and my shield. Ouch!  This is not easy to admit, yet it's so true. I saw the world as a puzzle, with every discrepancy being a piece that needed to be set right. Friends and family both admired and dreaded my tenacity. What I didn't realize was that my obsession was isolating me and pushing people away. I began to see how my pursuit of details had cost me friendships and strained my relationship with my family. It was liberating to realize that needing to be right often made others feel wrong, which I dreaded. Surprisingly, feeling wrong myself wasn't as bad as I thought. As my perspective shifted, I understood that my need to prove others wrong was less about the truth and more about my insecurities. I began to focus on collaboration instead of confrontation, aiming to understand rather than undermine. I discovered that sharing knowledge and learning from others is far more rewarding than proving them wrong. My journey has taught me that details are important, but so are the people behind them. My life has become more prosperous, not because of the facts I uncovered but because of my connections. How about you? Are you guilty of "looking for the fly poop in the pepper"? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

The various roles we assume in life greatly influence who we are. From spouse and parent to grandparent, friend, and Christian, each role comes with its own set of responsibilities and meaningful opportunities. I strive to be the best in all these aspects. How can I be the best example in these multifaceted roles?   Here are some tips and ideas that I have found helpful. Spouse To be a great spouse, I must demonstrate love, communicate openly, and provide unwavering support. It's crucial to prioritize my partner's needs and be fully present in our relationship. Showing appreciation, engaging in honest conversations, sharing responsibilities, and making time for intimacy and connection are all essential. Dad/Mom To be an exemplary father/mother: 1.  Offer unconditional love and support. 2. Be actively involved in your children's lives, from attending school events to sharing daily activities. 3.  Teach them by example—show kindness, patience, and integrity in your actions. 4.  Listen to them and guide them with wisdom and compassion. Grandparent As a grandparent, you provide love, wisdom, and stability. Be a source of comfort and guidance, offering a listening ear and gentle advice. Show them the importance of family and traditions. Friend Friendship requires trust, loyalty, and mutual respect. Be a dependable friend who listens and offers support. Celebrate your friends' successes and be there during tough times. Make time to connect through a phone call or a casual meetup. Show appreciation for their presence in your life. Christian Living as a Christian involves embodying Christ's teachings. Demonstrate love, kindness, and forgiveness in your daily life. Engage in regular prayer and reflection and be active in your faith community. Serve others selflessly and spread positivity and hope through your actions. It's not about perfection but about striving to be better each day. Your efforts, no matter how small, can profoundly impact those around you. How about you? Can you make improvements in the roles you play to make a big difference in those around you?   Watch for the blind spots.  Thanks for your feedback. Please like, share and comment.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to slip into laziness? I struggle with it. My brain is wired to seek comfort and avoid discomfort. Once I find a routine that feels safe and easy, it's hard to break free from it.   P.T. Barnum is credited with saying, "Comfort is the enemy of progress."  I've often grappled with this truth. While it's natural to seek comfort, staying there too long can be a major roadblock to personal and professional growth.   Here's why comfort zones can be dangerous and why stepping out of them is essential for real progress.   Comfort zones are like cozy blankets on a chilly day – they make me feel safe and secure. However, staying wrapped up in that blanket means missing new experiences, skills, and opportunities. When I get too comfortable, I avoid risks, challenges, and anything that might make me uncertain or anxious. I may find it harder to cope with life's inevitable difficulties without comfort. This avoidance can lead to stagnation, preventing me from reaching my full potential.   Comfort often leads to routine, and routine can dull my creativity. New ideas and innovation come from venturing into the unknown. I miss opportunities to learn new skills, meet new people, and experience growth by staying in my comfort zone. Facing challenges builds resilience.   To keep myself from staying too comfortable, I set small, written targets that challenge my limits and promote growth. In my book, I call this the "Weekly Display." Embracing small changes over time can lead to significant results. I also practice accepting what I might initially see as criticism, as it helps uncover blind spots that hinder my progress. Furthermore, recognizing the benefits of stepping out of my comfort zone and embracing change can be incredibly motivating.   How about you? While comfort feels wonderful, can you see how it can be the biggest enemy of your progress?   Watch for the blind spots.   Download a copy of The Weekly Display. Click on image below. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Being in a relationship with an entitled partner can be incredibly challenging. Entitlement often creates a one-sided dynamic in which the partner expects special treatment without giving anything in return.   I had the privilege of talking to a couple suffering from this sense of entitlement.   Rhonda and Ralph's marriage was strained due to Ralph's entitlement. Pampered as a child, he expected Rhonda to handle everything at home. Frustrated, Rhonda confronted him, stating she could no longer continue the relationship. Ralph repeated that he works hard and does his part. Rhonda sighed; her eyes filled with frustration . "It's not just about money, Ralph. It's about respect, partnership, and sharing the load. I need you to be involved, to see me as an equal."  Rhonda, finally at her wit's end, let Ralph know something needed to change, or she was leaving.   Realizing the depth of the issue, Ralph sought help. After a lot of hard work and reflection, he realized that his upbringing had shaped his expectations, which made him depend on Rhonda for catering to his needs, finances, and housework.   Change didn't happen overnight; it took effort from both. Rhonda found her strong voice and refused poor treatment, while Ralph learned to let go of his entitlement and became a better listener. Their journey showed that love is about daily actions and mutual respect, proving even deep-seated issues can be resolved with commitment and understanding.   Dealing with an entitled partner is mentally and emotionally exhausting. Meeting their constant demands without appreciation or support can lead to burnout. Here are some common issues you might face:   Imbalance of Effort Lack of Appreciation Constant Criticism Emotional Manipulation Isolation from Support Systems Mental and Emotional Exhaustion Healthy relationships thrive on compromise and mutual respect. However, an entitled partner often resists compromising because they believe their needs should come first.   Entitlement is another of the most difficult blind spots to acknowledge and overcome.   How about you? Could entitlement be negatively impacting your relationship?   Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Excuses are among the most challenging blind spots to identify and overcome. I have struggled to let go of using excuses to avoid recognizing and addressing uncomfortable truths. This avoidance provided a temporary escape, making it easier to sidestep issues I didn’t want to acknowledge, let alone change. However, clinging to these excuses has become a tremendous burden, preventing personal growth and hindering my potential. In my early years, the temptation to use excuses to avoid accepting responsibility was strong. I often tried to maintain a positive image by avoiding responsibility when things went wrong. This immature behavior provided a convenient escape from scrutiny, making my life more comfortable. I discovered that excuses enabled me to avoid taking responsibility for my actions or inactions, allowing me to sidestep accountability and escape feelings of guilt or shame. Whenever I failed at something, attributing the failure to external circumstances instead of my shortcomings provided a false sense of protection for my self-esteem. Excuses significantly reduce stress and anxiety. When faced with a challenging task or situation, an excuse provides a temporary escape, relieving immediate pressure and making the situation more manageable. This stress reduction is particularly valuable in high-pressure environments, where the fear of failure or criticism can be overwhelming. However, it is essential to consider the hazards of making excuses. Excuses can significantly hinder personal growth and cause missed opportunities. By relying on excuses, I avoid confronting my weaknesses and learning from my mistakes, leading to stagnation. This behavior strains relationships, as others may view me as unreliable, eroding trust and respect. Over time, making excuses can damage self-respect and increase stress and anxiety due to unresolved issues. It hampers problem-solving skills, making me more adept at deflecting blame rather than finding solutions. In team settings, excuses disrupt collaboration and productivity, leading to resentment among members. Additionally, frequent excuse-making can tarnish my reputation, affecting my personal and professional opportunities. Ultimately, relying on excuses traps me in a cycle of mediocrity, limiting my potential and preventing me from achieving true success. How about you? Are excuses getting in your path of growth? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

In my quest for knowledge, I often focus on what I know and what I know I don't know. But there's a third, elusive category: the unknown unknowns. Embracing this concept can lead to breakthroughs and personal growth. Have you ever had an epiphany that completely blindsided you? That's the essence of the "unknown unknowns" – the things you don't even realize you don't know. It's a perplexing yet fascinating concept with significant implications for personal growth, innovation, and decision-making. Consider this: I used to be very controlling and insisted on being right in every situation. Despite being called a control freak occasionally, my need for control wasn't apparent. While I understood that being controlling was negative, I couldn't see that behavior in myself. When I finally realized I was controlling, my life changed. I became humbler and a better listener. I began to look intently at the areas not working well for me and the ones I loved. Recognizing the existence of these unknown unknowns was the first step toward overcoming them. It required an acknowledgment that no matter how much I know, more lurks beyond my comprehension. Embracing the unknown unknowns can lead to breakthroughs. By staying curious and open to new experiences, I can create opportunities for unanticipated discoveries. These are the gaps I can't identify because I'm not aware they exist. So, how do I navigate this tricky terrain? It starts with fostering a culture of continuous learning and curiosity. Ask questions, seek diverse perspectives, and challenge my assumptions. I surround myself with people who think differently and aren't afraid to point out the gaps in my understanding. This is easy to say yet hard to do. While the unknown unknowns can be daunting, they also hold the potential for profound growth and discovery. By acknowledging and embracing what I don't know I don't know, I can expand my horizons and unlock new possibilities. How about you? Who do you need to listen to hear what you have yet to hear? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please share, like and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

The Serenity Prayer, my guiding principle, offers profound wisdom for navigating life's challenges. It encapsulates a balanced approach to life by fostering acceptance, courage, and wisdom. By embracing this prayer, I can experience numerous benefits contributing to personal growth, emotional stability, and overall well-being. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Letting go of things beyond my control can significantly reduce my stress and anxiety. I foster deeper connections and reduce conflicts by acknowledging and accepting others as they are. This feels like surrender for me. (Yipes) The courage to change the things I can empowers me to take proactive steps toward improvement. Change can be very difficult for me. However, each act of courage builds self-confidence. I develop a stronger belief in my abilities by stepping out of my comfort zone and making changes. Embracing change and taking risks opens new opportunities and experiences. Wisdom to discern what can and cannot be changed improves my decision-making process. It helps me focus my energy on productive actions rather than futile efforts. Wisdom fosters a deeper understanding of life's complexities, leading to inner peace. Integrating the Serenity Prayer into my daily life helps me internalize these principles. Reflecting on situations where I practiced acceptance, showed courage, or exercised wisdom has been particularly beneficial. It helps me see where my changes are working. Sharing experiences and learning from others can provide additional support. Using affirmations to remind myself of the Serenity Prayer's principles offers positive reinforcement, helping embed these values into my subconscious mind. Living according to the Serenity Prayer offers a balanced approach to handling life's challenges. By fostering acceptance, courage, and wisdom, I can achieve emotional stability, personal growth, and inner peace. Embracing these principles enhances my well-being and positively impacts my relationships and overall outlook on life. How about you? Could your life be enhanced by living by this amazing prayer? Watch for the blind spots. Download your printable .pdf of the Serenity Prayer click image below. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

You've heard me talk about shame and the struggle to fit in as a small boy. I was always among the smallest in my class, and I stuttered some, giving me a sense of being less than. I tried to be perfect and show no flaws or blemishes to avoid feeling bad about myself. I had no idea I'd become so skilled at rationalizing, minimizing, and justifying (RMJ) everything. This was a massive blind spot for me. I didn't realize how difficult it was to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't take responsibility for anything. I did not know how incredibly frustrating it was to converse with someone who behaves like a verbal slippery fish, wiggling, struggling, jerking, trying to get away without looking bad. The hardest part was when I behaved like that slippery fish and couldn't even see it. I'd use an excessive number of words to deflect meaning or create distractions, shifting focus away from any perceived accusation. I worked hard not to look bad. Rationalizing, minimizing, and justifying can erode trust in relationships. When one party constantly rationalizes their behavior, it signals to the other person that they're unwilling to take responsibility. Justifying actions or minimizing issues leaves underlying problems unaddressed, leading to repeated misunderstandings and ongoing disputes. Effective communication requires vulnerability and honesty. Minimizing feelings can prevent deep, meaningful connections by discouraging open and honest expression of emotions. Consistently rationalizing or justifying behavior hinders personal growth, preventing individuals from acknowledging their mistakes, learning from them, and making necessary changes. Minimizing problems can lead to a lack of self-awareness and emotional maturity. Healthy communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, personal or professional. As mentioned, behaviors like rationalizing, minimizing, and justifying can significantly hinder the effectiveness of our interactions. The hard part for me was recognizing and admitting I was doing something ineffective in my communication. How about you? Are you deflecting conversation like I have done, or are you examining the consequences of your discussions? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Yesterday was Father's Day, and I was reflecting on the kind of dad I was for my boys. Looking back, I see many things I wish I had done differently. While I was a good provider, I now realize several essential elements needed to be included. I always wanted the best for my boys, but I was often ill-equipped to be there for them in the way I would if I could turn back time. Being a great dad isn't just about providing; it's about being a role model, offering love and support, and guiding your children through life's ups and downs. I love the Commandment: "Honor your father and your mother." It's a profound commandment, and I see it as a reminder for fathers to act honorably so they deserve to be honored. A great dad provides a safe and nurturing environment filled with love, understanding, and respect. Kids need to feel secure physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's crucial to demonstrate positive behaviors and show kindness, patience, and integrity. By embodying these qualities and presenting myself honorably, I set a standard for my children to aspire to. A great dad listens to his kids, valuing their opinions and feelings. Engaging in meaningful conversations helps build a strong, trusting relationship. It's crucial to be approachable so your children feel comfortable coming to you with all their problems and successes. Another important aspect is supporting children's interests and education. Encourage their passions and be involved in their learning journey because your involvement significantly impacts them. A great dad knows the importance of balancing discipline with love. Setting boundaries and enforcing rules helps teach responsibility and respect. However, it's equally important to show affection and praise. Oh, to go back and relive the Commandment from a dad’s point of view. I am so proud of my boys even though their lives could have been better had I been a better-equipped dad. What a privilege to hear "Happy Father's Day, Dad." How about you? Is there anything you could do differently to be more honorable? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback, please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

A dad found a letter from his 15-year-old son on his pillow. It read: Dad, I've decided to run away with my new girlfriend. She's older, has had many struggles, and she's pregnant. She needs me. We're moving into her trailer in the woods, where we have enough firewood for the winter. We dream of having many more children together. She's shown me that drugs aren't as harmful as you taught me. We plan to grow marijuana and trade it for ecstasy and cocaine. I'm confident that science will eventually cure all her illnesses. She has been so good to me, Dad. I can't wait to come back home with your grandchildren. Love, John PS: None of this is true. I am at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than a report card. It's in my center drawer. Love you, Dad. Call when it's safe to come home. This letter had me laughing out loud! I got so caught up in the story that the ending surprised me. What a clever letter! It reminds me of Reader's Digest's "Laughter is the Best Medicine." There are countless things to laugh about if we take the time to find or create them. Have you noticed how laughter is contagious? It's a social glue that strengthens people and relationships and enhances teamwork. Sharing a laugh with friends or coworkers can build a sense of connection. Laughter isn't just a response to humor; it's a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. It can boost your mood, enhance your immune system, and improve your overall well-being. When you laugh, your body undergoes physiological changes incredibly beneficial to your health. Whenever I feel down or stressed, I look for something that makes me laugh. Whether it's a funny movie, a joke, or a chat with a friend, remember that laughter is a great medicine. It is a highly effective way to boost your health and happiness. How about you? Is laughter a medicine you can use to lift your spirits? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Like, share or comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp