Let me tell you what I need from you before I tell you what I am going to tell you.
This statement gives the listener a clear expectation of what the speaker needs from the conversation.
By clarifying what they need from the listener first, the speaker sets the context or establishes a basis for their upcoming communication. It indicates that the speaker wants to ensure the listener understands their needs or preferences before further discussing or sharing additional information.
Unless this statement proceeds the conversation, the following communication blunders can derail what the speaker is attempting to convey.
I am getting unsolicited advice.
Too often, the speaker gets interrupted with advice before making their point, or they get advice when they want validation or confirmation.
I feel they are trying to fix me.
Again, before the speaker has made their point, telling them what or how they should have handled a situation is degrading, embarrassing and pompous.
I feel they are telling me how a situation should be handled.
Here again the listener can cause the speaker to feel discounted, inept, and out of touch.
I get no response.
They have yet to give a response because none was requested. Here the listener might not know the expectations and listens. The speaker can construe this as that they need to pay better attention.
Telling what you need before telling what you want to tell is a request that allows the speaker to feel heard. It gives the listener great instructions to be more strategic in their reply.
This statement gives the listener instructions that if followed, can cause more connection and understanding. It promotes continuity in conversation.
How are you at getting your needs understood before you begin your conversation?
Watch for the blind spots.
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Blind Spots in Relationships
What I don't know I don't know about myself
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