I often use my West Texas metaphor of being cut from the herd. I refer to this metaphor as being isolated, discarded, or rejected from social groups such as family, work, religion, or any other group to which we can belong.
We can cut ourselves from the herd, or the herd can cut us.
There are many reasons we can find ourselves cut such as:
The herd feels threatened by us in any way.
We exhibit moral or social deviance or create threats or inconveniences.
Alcohol, drugs, legal issues, social misconduct, sexual, verbal, or physical abuse give the herd the right to exclude.
We cut ourselves off from the herd by alienating it in any way.
The hazard of being cut from the herd is our need for social connection and protection from outsiders who want to take advantage of us. In the animal kingdom, the herd protects and offers safety to the group. The herd provides a sense of support, both emotionally and practically. Straying from the herd might mean losing access to this support network, which can be detrimental during times of need. Animals outside the herd become prey to predators.
Conversely, it might be very healthy to cut ourselves from the herd. If the herd is emotionally ill or hostile in any way, it is not healthy to allow such treatment, even if they are family. I often say, “Just because you are family doesn’t give you the right to abuse in any form or fashion. Just because Joe is their uncle, doesn’t give him the right to touch others inappropriately.” [Blind Spot]
When families emit a toxic environment, it is healthy to exclude yourself from the herd. Being emotionally mature makes it possible to choose in or out.
How about you? Do you need to return to the herd, or is cutting healthier?
Watch for the blind spots.
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Blind Spots in Relationships
What I don't know I don't know about myself
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