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Jerry Clark

Verbal Kill Shots



What a wonderful time of the year. The holidays are coming and tis’ the season to be jolly.


Thanksgiving celebration is upcoming then followed quickly by Christmas.


This is the time for getting together, sharing, building new memories, and celebrating the old. Time is quickly passing and it's important that we be thankful every day for who we are and how we've gotten here.


As we gather joyously, laughing, and reconnecting during the season, there will be occasions when what I call "the verbal kill shot" is fired.


Someone will say something out of the blue or perhaps a new dig, jab, or diss that might bring you to your knees.


It’s a terrible way to wreck a wonderful season, yet they just keep coming year after year.



Personally, I think the best way to handle these unfortunate kill shots is to step aside and let those words go past us and not even respond. It’s not easy to walk away or unhear the shot but it’s the higher way.


Verbal kill shots are spoken to intentionally hurt, jab and sting, and though we cannot control what others might say or do we can control ourselves.


The better we feel inside about who we are and how we show up, the easier it is to not let a shot from the outside cause us any emotional disruption.


The key here is to consistently build ourselves. We become better every day; better today than we were yesterday, better tomorrow than we were today. We know who we are, and what we stand for, and do not need to convince another soul that we're good people.



When we truly feel good about whom God has made us to be and what He wants us to do, verbal kill shots completely miss their target and fall at your feet.


Alice said to her husband, “I dread going to Thanksgiving because “you know who” will be there. They are so very disruptive and say mean hurtful things to all of us.”


“I know,” he says, “and it's been that way for years. Isn't it strange how one person can make us fear something that we should be celebrating and looking forward to?” His expression changed and he stated, “Let's change that this year, supporting each other and everyone who feels the same way. This way we bring peace, laughter, hope, and joy to the conversations regardless of “you know who’s” kill shots. Let's not allow ourselves to be derailed.”


Alice said with excitement, “It's a deal, I can't wait to see everyone.”


What do I want to say about myself when the holidays are over? What do I want others to say about me?


Others will always talk about their experience with me, so I must remember I write that script.


Watch for the blind spots.



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If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below.

Blind Spots in Relationships

What I don't know I don't know about myself


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