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We focus on where we look...



I am reminded of an interview of a famous race car driver. When asked what the most important thing a race car driver could do, he answered, “Don’t look at the wall.” When he was asked to clarify his response, He said, “I go where I am looking.” Enough said.


This causes me to reflect on how exposing our blind spots sets us up for emotionally healthy relationships. I need to look for what I want and what I am missing not what is agonizing or troublesome.


“Reading Blind Spots in Relationships has been humbling and very eye-opening. With the holidays upon us, I had no idea how often I got annoyed, how much I corrected my husband, and how bad my tone could be. How embarrassing. I’m so glad for the chance to “see this stuff,” so I can make a change!” —D Campbell


I think it is time for all of us to “see the stuff.” Tis’ the season, right?!


Without realizing it, we can quickly ruin any daily interaction. It is too easy to get busy and caught up in the whirlwind of the season to see when we are being rude or unkind to others.


I like to say, “we focus on where we look.”


If I focus on the annoying things said by my sister-in-law on social media, I will “see” even more of that and get more annoyed. But if I focus on the fact that my sister-in-law has repeatedly offered to help watch the kids so I can finish decorating and shopping, I will have far more gratitude and far less annoyance.



I can’t help but think of the big playbook, Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about these things.”


If I am focusing on other things this holiday, well . . . I might be missing something big.


Let’s make a conscious effort this month to “focus our thoughts” on the good things.


We will surely have victory in our situations and that is exactly what we want to see!


Keep looking for the blind spots.




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If you need the perfect stocking stuffer, get a copy of my book, it's available below.

Blind Spots in Relationships

What I don't know I don't know about myself



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