In today’s world, letting go for some parents is extremely difficult.
I firmly believe parents do the best they know how to do with the idea of launching their young adults to be safe and productive citizens.
In my practice, I love to paint a scenario of their son or daughter graduating high school.
It’s a celebratory outdoor party with great food, laughter, and festivity. All the friends, family, and the graduate’s friends are present.
The graduate stands up at one point, taps on their glass invites everyone to sit down, and says, “Let me tell you about my dad or about my mom.”
At that point, I ask the question, “What would you like to hear them say?”
This question usually seems a surprise like they have not thought of this. [BLIND SPOT]
In general, the answer includes: “I want them to say they were loved. They were given the best support ever. They were encouraged. They feel equipped. They feel like we gave them our best.”
I follow up with this question, “Who writes the script the children used to talk about their parents?”
The answer to that question is the parents write the script.
If their experience is I am harsh, mean, and controlling, they will be distant and have little connection and minimal communication.
If their experience is I am loving, kind, teach, mold, and coach them from an emotionally mature stance, they will have more connection and stronger communication.
The fact is there is no guarantee they will say what we want to hear, but we are still in the most influential position, and what we do matters in our kids’ lives.
“Teach a child how to follow the right way; even when he is old, he will stay on course.” —Proverbs 22:6 Voice Translation
It’s up to us what kind of experience we give them.
Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you.
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Blind Spots in Relationships
What I don't know I don't know about myself
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