You got to know when to hold'em

Sometimes unkind, sarcastic, antagonistic comments are thrown in your direction and as culture would have it, you ‘immediately’ react. [Blind Spot]


This reaction usually exacerbates the situation and creates even more chaos and more relational disconnection.



Hold’em—the ability to let these words go past your ears and into the abyss, the wall, or thin air.


I know this can be tremendously difficult, but it is indisputably the most successful way to handle it.


Do not engage, silence is the most intellectual behavior you can employ.


Be judicious, sensible, and influential. Take the high road, showing emotional maturity, not immaturity.


As Jim Rohn would say, “Those tiny little desks are made for first graders, not adults.”


Be the adult.


Choose the balance of intellect and emotions, do not rationalize, minimize, or justify.


There is no need to try to prove or convince the other they are wrong or defend your position.


Hold’em, use restraint over reaction.


Stop, breathe…ask yourself what is behind your reaction anyway.


Will it make you feel better to engage in this reactive kind of conversation?


Hold’em, check your emotional level: first grader, middle school, high school, or mature adult.

Choosing “respond over react” will keep you moving up emotionally level by level.


Show strength—fighting and arguing are not going to accomplish anything.


Remember, anxious people cannot hear facts and reactions will not cause change.


As a matter of fact, your quick responses usually indicate defensiveness and anger which say, “I’m about to rise up and go out of control to gain control.”


Hold’em, be keenly alert and discerning of others’ comments or intentions.


Walk away from rude or aggressive comments.


It can be trying, but it is the most rewarding.


Not only have you placed value on the relationship, but the silence is deafening.


Know when to fold’em.



Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you.




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Blind Spots in Relationships

What I don't know I don't know about myself



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