Anxiety Takes Over

One of the most important truths I teach, whether in counseling, family work, or corporate leadership, is this: anxiety and intellect cannot operate at full strength simultaneously.

When anxiety rises, intellect falls. When intellect rises, anxiety settles. Understanding this simple dynamic explains much of human behavior under stress.

Think of the brain like a seesaw. Whichever side carries the most weight determines your decisions, tone, and behavior. When someone is in an anxious state, even small issues feel like emergencies. That is why people yell, freeze, shut down, or react dramatically, the emotional brain has taken the wheel and pushed intellect into the back seat.

In families, anxiety spreads quickly. One stressed parent can activate the entire household. Children sense it and respond with reactivity, defiance, withdrawal, or fear. Spouses feel it and either escalate or retreat. Over time, the home becomes a storm instead of a sanctuary, not because anyone is bad, but because anxiety is driving the system.

The good news is that when even one person chooses intellect, by pausing, breathing, and staying grounded, the atmosphere shifts.

You do not need the entire family to be calm; you need one emotional leader willing to slow things down.

In triggered moments, ask yourself: Is this anxiety speaking, or is it intellect? Do I want to escalate or bring peace? What does a healthy version of me do right now?

Anxiety is contagious, but so is calm. Choose which one you want to spread.

Watch for the blind spots.

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