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  • Can you look up?

    Toward the end of my telecommunications career, I faced a significant challenge. As a third-line manager, I found myself caught in a major downsizing. My role shifted dramatically; I became an individual contributor focused on reviewing reports and helping others resolve problems.   At first, I was furious. How could this happen to me?  I felt undervalued and defeated, spending weeks feeling sorry for myself and questioning my worth. It felt like I’d been knocked down, and I struggled to move past the disappointment for a while.   But over time, clarity set in. My salary remained the same, my responsibilities decreased, and the relentless demands of management disappeared. What initially felt like a demotion was an opportunity for a fresh perspective.   Was it easy?  Not at all. But after a month, I stopped dwelling on the loss and started focusing on the positives. I looked up, and with that, I found the strength to get up and move forward. That experience taught me that even when life takes an unexpected turn, there’s always a way to rise again.   As in this example, life has knocked me down, and moments of heartbreak, failure, and disappointment have tested my strength. During these times, Les Brown’s words, “If you can look up, you can get up,”  inspired hope. They reminded me that I can keep moving forward by lifting my eyes and seeing the path ahead.   Looking up is more than a physical act; it’s a mental shift. It’s about choosing to see past obstacles and believing in brighter days. From that belief, the strength to rise becomes possible. Challenges are not the end; they’re chapters in my story.   When life feels heavy, I look up, get up, and carry on. I’ve overcome things, and my story isn’t over; it’s just beginning. When tough circumstances appear, I plan to keep going; I am far from finished.   What about you? When life knocks you down, can you look up and get up?   Watch for the blind spots.   🎄✨  This Christmas, Unwrap Clarity in Relationships!  Make this season one to remember!🎁✨   http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

  • Settling for average?

    I often get complacent and allow average to be my yardstick. My friend encourages me to read more and that is great advice. Recently I began to reread some of Jim Rohn's’ books.   His wisdom reminds me that life's challenges aren't roadblocks; they're invitations to grow . As my life has been through many ups and downs, I unknowingly can slip into living as a victim of my circumstances, wishing for easier days and fewer problems. I can believe that happiness is something external, tied to outcomes or luck. I am realizing that wishing for ease keeps me stagnant. Growth begins when I take responsibility.   "Don't wish it was easier; wish you were better." These words shift my mindset. Instead of blaming circumstances, I asked myself: What can I learn from this?  Every problem, no matter how overwhelming, is a chance to develop resilience, patience, or creativity.   "Don't wish for less problems; wish for more skills."     These words push me to invest in myself. It gives me a chance to seek knowledge, mentorship, and opportunities to practice what I can learn. With every new skill comes confidence—a quiet assurance that no challenge is insurmountable.   "The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become."     These words teach me to redefine success. It's not about achieving perfection or accumulating accolades; it's about becoming the best version of myself.  With this shift, I stopped chasing fleeting goals and start building a life rooted in purpose.   These quotes remind me to release the victim mindset and embrace responsibility. Success isn't something to chase; it's something I attract by focusing on who I become. Challenges are no longer my enemies; they've become my greatest teachers.  When life tests me, I respond not with fear but with gratitude.   This is the true power of taking responsibility. When life pulls me into average mode, I can transform every obstacle into an opportunity and every day into a chance to grow.   How about you? Do your circumstances have the power to pull you from excellence back to average? Watch for the blind spots. 🎄🎁 This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Stronger Relationships!  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

  • Blind Spots Revisited

    Blind spots often stem from pride or insecurity.   My blind spots are the habits and traits that hinder my success, such as being a know-it-all, always needing to be right, being overly controlling, being a procrastinator, or any other unflattering label I might not  recognize in myself.   Over time, my boss, customers, loved ones, co-workers, or friends might stop offering feedback, leaving me in an echo chamber of my assumptions. I might notice them "voting with their feet,"  subtly or not so subtly, distancing themselves. Promotions may slip through my fingers. Relationships might grow strained or even dissolve. The price of ignoring blind spots can be steep.   How do I gauge whether I'm recognizing and addressing them?  It starts with my willingness to listen and reflect. Feedback is a gift, even when it stings—my instinct is to avoid negative feedback. If I react defensively or dismissively, it's a sign I need to pause and ask myself: Why does this bother me? What truth might I be avoiding?   Next, I can seek trustworthy individuals, mentors, colleagues, and friends who are honestly constructive and want me to grow and succeed. Asking open-ended questions like, "What's one thing I could improve?"  or "What do you know about me that I don’t know?”  can reveal invaluable insights.   Self-awareness tools, such as journaling or assessments like the Johari Window,  can also help uncover patterns I might not see. Equally important is observing the outcomes in my life to gain deeper insights.   If I notice recurring conflicts, stalled growth, lack of meaningful connections, or the tendency to blame others, it's time to look inward. Personal development is essential for success and recognizing blind spots has been a difficult journey for me. By embracing vulnerability and committing to change, I can transform these hidden obstacles into opportunities for progress.   As blind spots are revealed, my emotional and intellectual self, experiences growth.   What about you? Can you accept feedback, whether it's delivered gently or bluntly?   Watch for the blind spots.   🎄 This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Stronger Relationships! 🎁  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

  • Grace Under Fire

    I spoke with a friend today about a work situation that highlighted two very different approaches to handling pressure. He shared a story about a coworker struggling to gather information from their team for a meeting with the boss. Despite repeated attempts to get responses, his emails and messages were ignored. Frustrated and feeling powerless, the coworker ultimately decided to cancel the boss’s meeting altogether.   This decision illustrates how anxiety can sometimes overpower logic. Instead of finding alternative ways to resolve the issue, the coworker allowed frustration to dictate his actions, sacrificing the goal entirely.   In contrast, my friend approaches these challenges with determination and composure. When faced with unresponsive coworkers, he refuses to let the situation stall him. Instead, he digs deeper, seeks creative solutions, and does whatever it takes to deliver results. He views obstacles as opportunities to step up, not roadblocks to shut him down.   This is a prime example of grace under fire.  While one person allowed stress to derail their effectiveness, my friend demonstrated how staying focused and resourceful in adversity leads to success. Grace under fire isn’t about the absence of pressure. It’s about rising above it with persistence, clarity, and calm. It’s about acknowledging the fire and stepping into it with courage. It’s the parent who remains patient during a toddler’s tantrum, the leader who steadies the team amid sudden changes, or the friend who listens quietly instead of reacting emotionally during a disagreement.   The key to grace under fire lies in preparation, mindset, and self-awareness. Preparation means equipping myself with skills, knowledge, and confidence to handle potential challenges. A resilient mindset reminds me that setbacks are temporary and often teach valuable lessons. Self-awareness helps me recognize my emotions and choose my response rather than letting the situation dictate my actions.   Grace in such moments builds trust, earns respect, and strengthens relationships. It also creates space for solutions to emerge, as calmness fosters clarity.   Grace under fire is not about being perfect; it’s about responding to pressure with calm, confidence, and clarity.   How about you? Are you prepared for the pressures not yet revealed?   Watch for the blind spots.   🎄  This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Stronger Relationships! 🎁 Get it here: http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp   Author Jerry D. Clark has faced life’s challenges and created strategies for success—he’s eager to share his insights with you! 🎯   Stay connected with Jerry: 🔗 LINKEDIN: JerryDClark   📘 FACEBOOK: @JerryDClarkMA   📸 INSTAGRAM: @jerrydclarklpc

  • Limiting Beliefs

    I’ve struggled with limiting beliefs, but for the longest time, I couldn’t recognize them, even when others pointed them out. I had a knack for rationalizing, minimizing, and justifying my thoughts, making it seem like I had no limitations. Looking back, it’s surprising how defensive I was, unable to truly hear the valuable feedback that could have helped me break free and move forward.   Limiting beliefs are unconscious mental barriers I create that dictate what I believe I can’t achieve.   These beliefs, rooted in past experiences, societal expectations, or self-doubt, shape my actions and decisions. While they may feel like truths, they are often just perceptions that prevent me from reaching my full potential.   For instance, I might believe, “I’m not good at public speaking” or “I’m too old to start something new.” These statements, when internalized, become self-fulfilling prophecies. The fear of failure or rejection keeps me from trying, robbing myself of opportunities to grow, learn, and evolve.   The danger of limiting beliefs lies in their subtlety. They often masquerade as rational thoughts, convincing me they protect me from discomfort or harm. In reality, they keep me trapped in a comfort zone where growth is stagnant. They thwart progress by making me avoid risks, shy away from challenges, and settle for less than I can achieve.   The good news is that limiting beliefs can be changed by first recognizing them through self-reflection, journaling, or coaching and then questioning their validity: “Is this belief factual, or just a story I’ve been telling myself?”   Replacing limiting beliefs with empowering ones, like shifting from “I’m not good at public speaking” to “I can improve with practice” or from “I’m too old” to “It’s never too late to start,” opens doors to new possibilities and fosters growth.   Growth requires me to step out of my comfort zone and face challenges with courage. By breaking free from limiting beliefs, I create the mental and emotional space to thrive and become the best version of myself.   How about you? Are you held back by limiting beliefs?   Watch for the blind spots.   🎄  This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Stronger Relationships! 🎁  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp   Author Jerry D. Clark has faced life’s challenges and created strategies for success—he’s eager to share his insights with you! 🎯   Stay connected with Jerry: 🔗 LINKEDIN: JerryDClark   📘 FACEBOOK: @JerryDClarkMA   📸 INSTAGRAM: @jerrydclarklpc

  • Breakdown to Breakthrough

    I recently had to deliver some very disappointing news, which I don't enjoy doing even when I approach it with compassion. I fixate on the possibility of conflict and struggle to envision how things might feel once the conversation ends.   Too often, I stare into a negative future, anticipating an outcome I desperately want to avoid. It feels overwhelming, like a vast shadow obscures my ability to see beyond it. The sheer weight of the approaching problem, a talk, a test, a tough work situation, or a difficult relational issue can make imagining life on the other side seem impossible.   In these moments, I spiral into doubt, fear, and frustration. My mind clings to the "what-ifs" and worst-case scenarios, amplifying the pressure. I resist the breakdown, viewing it as a sign of failure rather than a step toward growth. But over time, I've realized that these breakdowns are not the end of the story. They are, in fact, the beginning of something transformative.   Every breakdown is an invitation, a harsh, unkind one sometimes, but still an invitation to a breakthrough. When I hit a low point, when the discomfort becomes too much to bear, I am forced to look inward. In that space of vulnerability, I discover truths about myself: patterns that no longer serve me, beliefs that hold me back, and the resilience I didn't know I had.   For instance, facing a difficult conversation with a colleague once seemed insurmountable. I avoided it until the tension became unrelenting. But the moment I leaned into the discomfort and spoke my truth, I found clarity and strength. That breakthrough reshaped how I handle conflict.   Breakdowns strip away my comfort zones, leaving me exposed but ready for change. On the other side of every breakdown is an opportunity to grow, learn, and rebuild with new awareness. It's never easy, but the reward is undeniable: a stronger, wiser version of myself.   How about you?  When the breakdown comes, do you see it as the end, or is it a bridge to a breakthrough waiting to happen?   Watch for the blind spots.     🎄 This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Stronger Relationships! 🎁  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp   Author Jerry D. Clark has faced life’s challenges and created strategies for success—he’s eager to share his insights with you! 🎯

  • Does Trauma Define You?

    Too many times, mistakes, tragedies, or violations have caused trauma in my life. It is easy to succumb to shame and guilt, paralyzing any effort to recover or move forward. I found it easier to disappear or hide from my mistakes for years. The silence felt safe, but it only solidified my negative emotions.   I've learned that healing requires courage and honesty. I find it essential to move forward by being forthright about what happened, whether it was my failure, or something inflicted upon me. Sharing my experiences openly has been incredibly liberating, and the phrase ' The truth will set you free'   deeply resonates with me.   Trauma affects everyone differently. Personal background and the severity of the event significantly affect how someone copes and heals. Severe trauma can feel almost impossible to let go of, but I've learned that denying or downplaying my pain only prolongs the healing process.   Validating my emotions without judgment has been a critical step forward. It's important to remind myself that feeling hurt, angry, or overwhelmed is natural and necessary. Acceptance doesn't mean condoning what happened but giving myself permission to move forward.   Therapy has been invaluable for my recovery, offering a safe space to process and rebuild. I've also found healing through connection—sharing with trusted friends, family, and support groups allows a safe environment to share my story.   Self-care has also played a vital role. Trauma disconnects me from my emotions, but grounding practices like mindfulness, yoga , (yes me doing yoga)  and journaling help me reconnect. Small acts of kindness toward myself, like rest, time in nature, or pursuing creative outlets, have been surprisingly transformative.   Trauma may alter my path, but it doesn't define my journey.  Helping others navigate their trauma and find new passions gives me purpose. Healing takes time and courage, but every small step is a victory. I have found I am more than my trauma. I am capable of joy, peace, and renewal.   How about you? Does trauma define your life?   Watch for the blind spots.   🎄  This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Stronger Relationships! 🎁 🌟 Let’s start building better relationships! 📚 Blind Spots in Relationships is on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million or click here to order: http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp Author Jerry D. Clark has faced life’s challenges and created strategies for success—he’s eager to share his insights with you! 🎯

  • Own Up

    My relationships thrive or wither based on how I respond to conflict. At their core, relationships reflect how well I understand and align with others. Yet, when disagreements arise, the instinct to blame others often leads to disconnection and decline. Shifting the focus from blame to personal responsibility can transform relationships, allowing them to flourish.   Blame feels easy. It absolves me of guilt and places the burden of change on someone else. I say things like, "They're too stubborn,"  or "They never listen."  These statements might feel validated at the moment, but they create walls instead of bridges. Blame drives me to dwell on the other person's flaws rather than reflect on how I might contribute to the problem or the solution.   On the other hand, relationships flourish when I take ownership of my actions, words, and reactions. It is counterintuitive to accept responsibility. Accepting responsibility doesn't mean accepting all the blame; it means being honest about my role in the dynamic and willing to change. For example, instead of accusing my partner of being distant, I might ask, "Am I showing them enough affection and understanding?"   This shift is powerful because it focuses on what I can control: myself. Personal growth and self-awareness inspire mutual respect. When I step up to improve myself, it often encourages others to do the same. This creates a positive cycle of growth, trust, and deeper connection.   Flourishing relationships require effort, humility, and courage. By focusing on how I can grow rather than trying to change others, I model the behavior I wish to see. When I own up in conflicts, I foster a safe space for open communication, making solutions more accessible and meaningful.   Ultimately, my relationships decline when I look outward for someone to blame but grow stronger when I look inward for ways to grow. Responsibility isn't a burden; it's the foundation for creating the love, harmony, and connection I crave.   How about you? Do you blame or accept your responsibility in the relationship?   Watch for the blind spots. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

  • I Write the Script

    I often ask , "How do I want others to feel about me when they are in my presence?” Or I ask, "What do I want someone close to me to say about me when talking to others?"   The good and bad news is that I will write the script  they use to talk about me.   Relationships are profoundly shaped by how we make each other feel. Too often, I might overlook how others perceive me, walking through life unaware of my words or actions on those around me. If I'm unknowingly pushing someone away, I risk damaging the relationship without realizing it.   This raises an essential question: “ How do I want you to feel about me when we're together?”   I must consistently embody these qualities to be seen as attractive, fun, delightful, truthful, and positive. But if I come across as a downer, sarcastic, or complainer, you won't feel good around me and will probably distance yourself. Your perception of me as intellectual, confident, kind, or thoughtful will only emerge if I intentionally create that experience for you.   The energy I bring into your life is powerful; it shapes how you see me and how our relationship evolves. When I help you feel safe, valued, understood, and inspired, you'll leave our time together feeling uplifted.   Do I make you feel seen, heard, and appreciated? Or do I unintentionally make you feel judged or insignificant?  These moments of connection, or disconnection, are the building blocks of our bond.   When I am intentional about the energy I bring, our relationship becomes a space of trust and growth. Instead of questioning, "What do they think of me?" I can shift to asking, "How can I make them feel valued right now?"  This effort creates a foundation of confidence, joy, and respect.   So, the question becomes, "How do I want you to feel about me when we are together?"     Whether I am aware of it or not, I will write the script  you will use to answer that question.   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

  • Iron Sharpens Iron

    Second Saturday  is  a monthly men's meeting at our church. We gather to enjoy pancakes, sausage, orange juice, and coffee and engage in devotion and faith stories for about an hour. This past Saturday, I looked around the room and saw men much wiser than me; I love hearing their stories of life and faith. I was thinking about the phrase "iron sharpens iron,"  which comes from the proverb, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." This metaphor highlights that I will grow stronger, wiser, and more skilled through interactions with others. Just as iron becomes sharper when honed against another piece of iron, my mind and character are refined when I connect with my Christian brothers.   Participating in his Wednesday men's meeting has grown my son tremendously. I love to see his growth in faith and confidence.   At its core, "iron sharpens iron"  is about mutual growth. Relationships that embody this concept are ones where both parties benefit, learn from each other, challenge assumptions, and provide constructive feedback. Each person offers unique strengths and insights in these partnerships, strengthening the other's weaknesses. This isn't about passive camaraderie but intentional, honest, and supportive relationships.   In practice, this sharpening can take many forms. In professional settings, colleagues could give each other honest feedback to improve their work. In personal relationships, it might involve friends or partners discussing their perspectives and pushing each other to be the best versions of themselves. The phrase comes to life in groups like Toastmasters, where people unite to enhance their communication skills. Members push each other to grow by offering insights, encouragement, and thoughtful critique.   "Iron sharpens iron" reminds me of the importance of surrounding myself with faithful Second Saturday guys. When I connect with these guys who share their commitment to growth in faith, I create a powerful cycle of learning and betterment. Embracing this principle can transform my relationships into spaces for growth, resilience, and mutual empowerment, making everyone more robust and capable. Regardless of my surroundings, I like to lead with faith in Christ.   How about you? Who do you use to sharpen you?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

  • Fruit that Enriches

    As I was reading through the book of Galatians, I was reminded of the “Fruit of the Spirit.” By adhering to these values, I can dust off some old habits and focus on these old virtues. When cultivated in my life, these traits of excellence can profoundly enrich my existence. Although Christian in their origin, love, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control can be spread to all walks of life. What a wonderful existence we could experience if we all practiced these virtues. ❤️ Love exists in all cultures, yet not between all cultures. When I love unconditionally, I create deep and meaningful connections with people, fostering a sense of belonging and purpose.   😃 Joy can be sourced despite my circumstances.   🕊️ Peace is necessary in our world of chaos and hate.   😇 Forbearance, or patience, helps me endure life’s trials and tribulations, making me more resilient and less prone to stress.   🎁 Acts of kindness benefit those on the receiving end and bring immense satisfaction to me as the giver.   🤟 Goodness encourages moral integrity and a desire to do what is right, leading to a sense of purpose and fulfillment.   🙏 Faithfulness signifies commitment and loyalty. It fosters trust in my relationships and reliability in my actions.   🏃‍♂️ Self-control empowers me to make wise choices and resist destructive impulses regardless of my circumstances. It gives me the strength to pursue long-term goals and desires while avoiding short-term temptations.   The “Fruit of the Spirit” represents a powerful framework for realigning my life. By embracing and cultivating these virtues, I can experience deeper connections in all my relationships.   How about you? Could you find renewal if you refocus on the fruit that enriches?   Watch for the blind spots. Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships ! 🕶️✨  Uncover the hidden patterns that may be keeping you from the connections you truly want. Start transforming your relationships today! http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

  • Veterans Day

    Today, I will be speaking at the League City Veterans Experience and Expression.   A tribute to those who have served our country.   It is an opportunity for me to thank the veterans of our community.    Our veterans left their homes, families, and everything familiar to them to protect our way of life. They have defended the freedoms we enjoy each day. But these freedoms are too often taken for granted and underappreciated.   The story of a veteran is one of courage. Each veteran accepts a path that is often uncertain, demanding, and filled with both triumphs and challenges.   For some, their internal battles did not end when they came home. Survivors’ guilt, letting go of the trauma, and the challenge of reintegrating into civilian life weighed heavily. The battlefield had become a reality, and transitioning back to peace was a journey for which there is no map.   To our veterans, you have given us more than we can ever repay. You left behind families, friends, and the comfort of the familiar to serve in ways many of us can scarcely imagine. Some of you returned to open arms, others returned to silence, and some of you are still fighting battles that only you understand. But please know this: we see you; we honor you, and we will always stand by you.   To the families of our veterans, we acknowledge your sacrifice as well. You have stood by your loved ones through the darkest moments, held onto hope when times were tough, and provided a foundation of strength. You are the unsung heroes in this story.   I want to remind each of you that today is not just about remembering our veterans; it’s about recognizing their enduring courage, their visible and unseen battles, and the stressors they carry with them long after their service ends.   I say to you, our veterans: we see you, honor you, and thank you for all you have done.     How about you? Is it easy to overlook the freedom supplied by veterans?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

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