Are You Listening?

Poor communication is one of the most common and costly blind spots in relationships. Too often, I don’t see the habits that get in my own way. I may interrupt, tell “hero” stories to prove a point, talk too much, or listen only to respond instead of to understand. These behaviors may feel normal to me, yet they quietly push others away. Many won’t tell me I’ve been dismissive, self-centered, or offensive. They will withdraw. Ouch, that’s a blind spot.

Being an effective communicator begins with being a good listener. Listening means paying attention not just to words, but to tone, pace, and body language. It means being curious, not defensive, and willing to learn rather than rushing to speak.

In every exchange, it’s the sender’s responsibility to make sure the message is understood.

That requires awareness, watching the listener’s reaction, noticing when confusion or resistance arises, and adjusting my words or tone accordingly. Read their eyes and eyebrows, they are full of information. When I ignore those cues or insist on being heard instead of being understood, I cripple communication and damage trust.

These blind spots are subtle and easily overlooked. It often takes honest feedback from others to see them clearly. Another powerful tool is to record my conversations and then listen to them later in private. Only then can I hear what I missed in real time, my own voice, tone, and impact.

Actual growth in communication begins when I stop talking long enough to really listen, both to others and to myself.

Watch for the blind spots.

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