Blind Spot: After the First Five Minutes
Have you ever noticed that some people can walk into a room and win everybody over in five minutes? They have a good story, a quick smile, and a way of making others feel at ease. I enjoy being around people like that. But when it comes to a lasting relationship, I have learned to watch what happens after the first five minutes.
Does this person do what they said they would do? Are they kind when they are tired? Can they hear something difficult without turning it into a fight? Those moments tell me whether I can count on them.
The same questions apply to me. I may say all the right things, but if my behavior changes with my mood, the people close to me are left wondering which version of me will show up. That uncertainty makes it harder for them to speak honestly or relax in my presence.
Consistency does not mean I never make a mistake. It means I take responsibility when I do. I keep my promises as best I can, and when I cannot, I say so. I try to be the same person in private that I am when others are watching.
Charisma can open a door. The ordinary ways I treat someone determine whether they feel safe staying.
What do the people closest to me experience from me on an ordinary day?
Watch for the blind spots.
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