Blind Spot: Carrying Their Pack
- Jerry Clark
- Jul 22
- 1 min read
I learned this lesson long before I became a counselor.
In Vietnam, every Marine carried his own pack. Inside were ammunition, c’ rations, and the gear needed to survive another day. The weight was already exhausting in the jungle heat, but there were times when someone was injured or simply worn down. Without hesitation, another Marine would pick up part of his load. We did it because, in combat, keeping one another alive mattered more than comfort.
The important thing is this. We carried another man's pack only until he could carry it himself. We never intended for him to become dependent. Our goal was always to help him regain his strength.
Many of us never learned that lesson after coming home.
In families and workplaces, we often continue carrying responsibilities, emotions, and consequences that belong to someone else. At first, it feels like love. Eventually, it becomes exhaustion. The other person may even stop growing because we have made life too comfortable for them.
There is a difference between helping someone and rescuing them. Helping builds strength. Rescuing often builds dependence.
Here is what I have learned. Healthy relationships are not measured by how much weight you can carry for another person. They are measured by your willingness to walk beside them while allowing them to carry what is theirs. That is how people grow, and that is how relationships become stronger.
Watch for the blind spots.

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