Blind Spot: Do I Matter?
- Jerry Clark
- 8 hours ago
- 1 min read
Beneath disagreements, silences, and hurt feelings lies a question rarely spoken aloud:
Do I matter to you?
It appears when a spouse keeps looking at their phone while the other is talking. It surfaces when a child brings home a drawing and hears, “Not now.” It shows up at work when someone’s effort goes unnoticed, or their ideas are dismissed.
Most of us do not ask the question directly. Instead, we criticize, withdraw, become defensive, or try harder to be noticed. What looks like anger may actually be hurt. What sounds like complaining may be a plea for reassurance.
Here’s what I’ve learned: people feel that they matter through small, consistent moments of connection. Eye contact. A question. Remembering what was important to them. Saying, “I see how much you carried today.”
Listening without immediately correcting, defending, or offering a solution.
I cannot meet every need or agree with every opinion. But I can communicate, “Your feelings are real. Your voice has value. Your presence makes a difference.”
Healthy relationships do not leave people constantly guessing about their worth. They make room for reassurance, curiosity, and repair.
Today, I ask myself: Do the people closest to me know they matter, not because I assume they know, but because my words and actions tell them?
Watch for the blind spots.
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