Blind Spot: You Don’t Know the Whole Story
I remember a conversation with a coworker who responded in a way that rubbed me the wrong way.
Before I knew it, I had the whole thing figured out.
I knew why they said it. I knew what they meant. I even knew what they were thinking.
There was only one problem.
I hadn’t asked.
I had taken a few facts, mixed in my own feelings, filled in the blanks, and concluded. I wasn’t discovering anything. I was judging.
I’ve learned over the years that I can get into a lot of trouble when I assume I know another person’s motives.
So I try to do something different.
Instead of saying, “I know why you did that,” I ask, “Help me understand what was going on for you.”
That simple question moves me from judgment to discovery.
It doesn’t mean I agree. It doesn’t excuse hurtful behavior or remove my boundaries. It simply reminds me that I may have only half a vote because I may have only half the information.
That little bit of humility can change a conversation.
The next time somebody disappoints you, irritates you, or plain gets your dander up, pay attention to the story you start telling yourself.
Then get curious.
Ask instead of assuming.
Listen instead of judging.
You may discover that what you thought you knew wasn’t the whole story.
Watch for the blind spots.
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