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Blind Spots

—an area where a person's ability to see other people's reactions is hindered or where a person lacks understanding—

I have been writing about blind spots for quite some time.

I want to review a few examples of not being able to recognize blind spots in relationships:

Feeling distance or lack of closeness

Feeling "cut from the herd."

Not feeling confident and not knowing why

Remember, blind spots are what we say and do that push people away, and we don't recognize why. I may feel totally validated in my conversation but am entirely ignorant of how I am presenting.

Take, for instance, the Know-It-All—If I am accused of being a know-it-all, I may be showing up as having all the answers, giving rebuttals for all my reasons, being intrusive, and interrupting the conversation. I create an unpleasant atmosphere for others who don't know it.

Being incessantly right is another, and like the know-it-all, I can argue others into oblivion. I can rationalize, minimize, and justify anything. This is my inability to accept criticism or another person's viewpoint without allowing it to make me feel inferior, guilty, or ashamed.

From always being late or too chatty, to not standing up or belittling myself or others, blind spots can create quite a destructive path. Blind spots may only occur a small percentage of the time, but they are annoying enough to make a huge difference.

When my blind spots are obvious to others, they can help me recognize or endure them.

I have seen it in my practice; blind spots are endured for decades, years, months, weeks, hours, or just a few moments. It depends. Sometimes we meet someone and are immediately turned off by their character, whether it is their words or actions. I had seen poor behavior endured in marriages for decades before they were dealt with either through changing disruptive behavior or the finality of divorce.

Often, people give up trying to bring out something limiting our effectiveness in relationships, especially when we continually dismiss, deny, or justify it when it is pointed out.

What a waste of living.

Blind Spots are countless. To make matters complicated, we do not all have the same ones, but there should be a drive in us to always seek them out.

We won't find them all, but together the journey is incredibly healthy and emotionally maturing.

Keep exposing the blind spots.

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Blind Spots in Relationships

What I don't know I don't know about myself

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