Collecting Stamps

When I was a boy, my mom shopped at stores that gave out S&H Green Stamps, tiny rewards based on the amount of money spent. We collected those stamps in little books, and once we had enough, we could “cash them in” for something you wanted: a toaster, a football, or even camping gear. It was a game of accumulation, spending, saving, and redeeming.

I’ve come to realize it is easy to do something very similar with emotions.

In my relationships, whether at home, at work, or in the world, it was easy to get hurt, feel disappointed, or be offended. But instead of dealing with the pain right away, too many times I have “saved” it. I collected emotional stamps: minor offenses, irritations, and moments of feeling overlooked or unappreciated. And like the stamp books of my childhood, I held onto them until one day, I had enough, and “cashed them in,” often in an outburst or breakdown that surprises even me.

Emotional maturity teaches me to notice those moments before they accumulate and become overwhelming. It helps me release pressure little by little, rather than letting it build up like a clogged pressure cooker that eventually explodes. Just like a pressure cooker has a release valve to prevent disaster, I also need emotional release valves.

One simple but powerful tool I use is the word “ouch.” It’s a way to say, “Something just hurt,” without blaming or attacking. It opens the door to resolution instead of resentment. When someone cares about the relationship, they’ll lean in and listen. If they don’t, I know to step back with awareness, not anger.

Emotional intelligence is not about never getting hurt; it’s about learning how to express hurt in ways that build connection, not destroy it. The more I speak up early and honestly, the fewer emotional stamps I carry, and the more peace and self-control I experience in my life.

How about you? Sometimes it is easy to collect these emotional stamps without even realizing we are doing it.

Watch for the blind spots.

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