Control

Control has been a significant challenge for me. I once thrived on being in control; it made me extremely uncomfortable when I wasn't. I believed that if things weren't done my way, they were wrong. This rigidity not only affected me but also those around me.

In any relationship, controlling behavior erodes trust and pushes people away emotionally, leading to a deeply unsatisfying connection.

I remember a trip to New Orleans with another couple. I let the other person drive, which was unusual for me. When he wanted to consult the map, I insisted I knew a shortcut. We ended up lost for 30 minutes, which was both embarrassing and a stark reminder of the pitfalls of my controlling nature. This incident was just one example of how my need for control led to more significant issues.

Through these experiences, I've realized that trying to control everything is impossible for me and frustrating for others. Embracing a more relaxed approach has been refreshing. For example, driving in Houston has taught me that I can't control other drivers, no matter how wise I consider myself.  My attempt to tailgate someone who has been tailgating me or just cut me off has not taught them how to drive. My view of other reckless drivers has changed. I have adopted the attitude that we are all trying to get somewhere; some are more in a hurry than others. Instead of reacting to reckless drivers with frustration, I now focus on helping others get to their destinations safely.

In teaching, I've learned that allowing others to make mistakes rather than exerting constant control is more effective and less stressful for us. I've realized that trying to control everything often leads to losing control.

In emergencies, where my background in safety and leadership is beneficial, I feel confident taking charge to protect others. However, in everyday situations, relinquishing control has been liberating.

How about you? Is your need for control causing you to go out of control to gain control?

Watch for the blind spots.

Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp