Coveting

I used to walk past our general manager’s corner office every morning and feel a mix of excitement, desire, and envy, perhaps all at once. The leather chairs, glass walls, and nameplate in bold font all whispered success. This was the next step in my hierarchy. I told myself I wanted it because I had earned it. That if I landed that office, I’d finally feel like I mattered, I had arrived.

One night, I sat alone in my very nice corner office, sipping cold coffee, and asked myself: “Why do I want it so badly?”

The answer came quieter than I expected: It’s not the office. It’s what I believe it says about me that I’m important. That I’ve outgrown the version of myself who felt invisible around the dinner table. That I’ve made it.

That was the moment I realized what I was chasing wasn’t the office. It was my self-worth. Validation. A sense of being seen. I didn’t need his corner office. I needed to believe I had value.

Coveting is sneaky. It hides behind ambition, admiration, even hope. But what it often reveals is what I lack: respect, acceptance, safety, belonging.

And it doesn’t stop there.

Coveting breeds discontent. It warps my relationships. I start comparing, resenting, and silently competing with others. It tempts me to act outside my values to get what I think will fix me. Worst of all, it’s a trap. Because even if I do get what I long for, the peace is short-lived. The ache returns. The target moves.

I’ve learned to ask better questions.

What am I honestly longing for?

What story am I telling myself about why I don’t have it?

What deeper need is underneath this desire?

The antidote to coveting is curiosity. It’s honesty. Sometimes, it’s grief. And often, it’s gratitude for what is already good in my life, waiting to be seen.

I’m still very ambitious. But I’ve stopped chasing symbols. Now, I chase what’s meaningful.

What pulls me toward wholeness, not just success?

What would I regret not doing, even if no one else saw it?

Watch for the blind spots.

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