It is a choice.
I stopped at a sandwich shop for lunch. The young man helping me was kind and courteous and did a great job with my sandwich. I noticed another young man who was waiting behind me. I got my sandwich and drink and sat down. Then I heard a commotion. The young customer was yelling and cursing as he walked out the door. He stopped at the door and continued taunting the young worker. He continued calling him awful names and invited the worker to settle it outside. The young man behind the counter ignored the commotion and continued his work. The other slammed the door, got in his car, and hastily drove away.
Wow, it happened in a flash. It went from peace to potential rumble in seconds. I was grateful no weapons were involved. I was thankful that the young man behind the counter maintained an excellent, self-controlled posture while the other was totally out of control—anxiety up, intellect down.
As I finished my sandwich, I wondered what had happened to the angry young man who had caused the scene. I asked myself what he might be dealing with that caused such a reaction. Did it result in road rage? Did he take it out on a loved one later? Did he hurt himself or someone else downstream? Did he pull over somewhere and healthily process his hurt, frustration, or pain? I doubt the latter is what happened.
It is an excellent illustration of how carrying unresolved business can cause us to develop a "chip on our shoulder." (Looking for someone to start something so I can finish it.) Unresolved issues may cause the choice to include a verbal or physical assault or even using weapons.
This is an excellent example of one person staying in control while the other goes out of control.
Being emotionally mature starts with self-assessment and regulating my actions based on my circumstances. If I'm emotionally charged, I must claim it and posture my actions and reactions to control myself.
Are you carrying emotional baggage that could ignite a situation that could trigger something undoable?
Do you recognize and do something about it when you are emotionally charged?
Can you make the right choice during an encounter such as this one?
Watch for the blind spots.
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Blind Spots in Relationships
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