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My Thinking


Where is my thinking? It is easy to get caught up in today’s news. The world, government, politics, and polarization on these important topics can poison us and push us toward negative thinking.


Who are the bad guys today? What are they doing to cause my clan aggravation?


It is easy for us to put our 2 cents in and contribute to the problems, justifying our position by stirring up chaos but not contributing to any solutions or contributions to create opportunities for connection. When I blame, I do not need to change. It is the other at fault and not me. The struggle here is that I cannot change the other, so I am stuck unless I look at changing myself to see if I can influence a situation and make it better.


My thinking rules my day, my mood, and my relationships.


Am I a victim, or am I responsible for what I am thinking? What do I feed my mind? Is it wholesome, healthy stuff, or is it toxic?


I was talking to a mom and her 17-year-old son. Mom was concerned about his mild depression, and he was worried about his next steps in life. He was about to graduate, go to college and had just broken up with his girlfriend of 2 years. Both had legitimate concerns that were weighing down their thinking. The circumstances were not going to change, but what they were feeding their brain could.


As we looked at their situation, we decided that they could look for uplifting things in life. We began to talk about examples they could use. Mom talked about their dog, who could sense her son’s low mood and would come over and nose him or lay at his feet. He talked about just the two of them going to get ice cream together. Mom talked about him helping the elderly neighbor last weekend. They spoke about the time they were looking at old pictures and taking a wonderful trip down memory lane.



The idea evolved that they would work together, and each day identify a wonderful uplifting gift of God.


It might be a sunset or some act of kindness or love they witnessed. It might be one of the acts of their fantastic dog. Mom had given him a journal for Christmas, and they decided to make his journal their gratitude journal. Each evening they would both contribute at least one gift from God that was eventful and memorable. This process would go on for one month, and then they would reassess to see if it was bringing in fresh thoughts that were replacing some negatives. Time will tell if this works but I sure like the idea.


Where is your thinking?


Can you see how what we feed our brains runs our life?


I will be looking for the good stuff, not the toxic.


What will you choose to fill your incredible mind? After all, it is your choice.


Watch for the blind spots.





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You can get a copy of my book below.

Blind Spots in Relationships

What I don't know I don't know about myself


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