Poverty in Relationships

Poverty in relationships isn't about money; it's about the absence of trust, empathy, and meaningful connection. It manifests as emotional distance, a lack of vulnerability, and unspoken resentment. True relational wealth doesn't come from perfection but from honesty, care, and consistent effort.

I've often asked parents, spouses, employees, friends, and leaders to evaluate how well they're doing in their relationship roles. I often ask, "Could you be better?" Everyone says yes. Isn't it fascinating that even knowing this, we often live in relationship poverty without planning to improve?

We track our finances, upgrade our homes, and plan for the future. However, when it comes to relationships, the most essential part of our lives—it is easy to overlook them. Initially we start by putting our best foot forward. But over time, old habits and emotional fatigue creep in. It becomes easier to blame others and point out their flaws, letting ourselves off the hook. But blame is just a way to avoid the real work of growth and change.

If your relationship feels stuck in poverty or just “ordinary,” what small shift could move it one step closer to something extraordinary? I’ve walked through seasons where I settled for silence and disconnection, where quiet frustration became my norm. I survived, but I wasn’t growing. That’s a chapter I’m not willing to repeat.

I have found the best place to start is with myself. I can examine my blind spots and ask: What would a better version of me bring to this relationship? If I want to be a better spouse, parent, friend, or coworker, what am I willing to change or improve in myself?

One question I often ask myself is: What do I want others to say about how I showed up in their lives?That answer points me forward. Because whether I like it or not, I am the author of the story others tell about me.

I choose to stop living in relational poverty and start building something I am proud to be a part of.

Watch for the blind spots.

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