Projection: The Blind Spot

A while back, I was in the grocery store, standing in line with just a few items. The customer ahead of me was chatting away with the checker, laughing, telling stories, and digging through their wallet, while I stood there stewing. My mind raced: Don’t they realize people are waiting? How inconsiderate!

Later that day, it hit me. I’ve done the same thing. I’ve lingered in conversation, enjoyed catching up, and probably delayed someone else who was in a hurry. The truth I didn’t want to face in myself, I was quick to judge in someone else. Passing judgment, I realized, is often the hidden clue that I might be projecting. I see in others what I can’t, or don’t want to, see in myself.

That’s projection. Freud described it as a defense mechanism: when I don’t want to acknowledge a feeling or flaw in myself, I unconsciously assign it to others. Carl Jung went further, teaching that we project parts of our “shadow,” those unrecognized pieces of ourselves, onto the world. What I can’t accept in me, I’ll likely see and dislike in you.

Projection is a major blind spot in relationships. Because it feels so real, I convince myself the problem is “out there.” Yet much of what irritates me in others is often something I don’t want to see in myself.

Here’s the challenge: when I catch myself projecting, I can stay blind and blame, or I can pause and ask, what part of me am I seeing in them? That single question can turn a blind spot into a gold mine of self-awareness.

Projection is the mirror I least want to look into. But when I do, I build a better me. I become less controlled by hidden judgments and more able to connect with others and myself honestly.

Watch for the blind spots.

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