Relationship Orbits

Relationships become stuck when we repeat the same patterns, especially when they don't work.

You say this... I respond with that.

I do this... you do that.

These predictable exchanges form an orbit, a familiar, circular pattern we fall into, even when it leads nowhere.

In space, an orbit is the repetitive path one object takes around another. In relationships, it's the same. We revolve around each other in fixed emotional loops, never solving anything, just spinning. These patterns can lead to disappointment, frustration, and a fractured connection.

To break the cycle, we must change our orbit. That means starting new conversations, trying new actions, or responding differently, anything that moves us off the worn path toward resolution and growth.

But here's the challenge: when one person tries to change for the better, the other may resist. The familiar orbit, though unhealthy, feels safe, so they pull the relationship back to what's known, even if it's painful.

We often choose familiarity over health.

So, to create a win-win relationship, I must stay in my new orbit, even if progress is slow. I must act in ways that show I'm serious about change without triggering defensiveness in the other person.

That could mean:

Operating out of intellect or spirituality rather than anxiety.
Refusing to let an argument escalate.
Standing firm against being bullied or defamed.
Choosing to express difficult thoughts in writing instead of speaking in the heat of the moment.

These small but intentional shifts create a new path, a new orbit.

And here's the secret: sustained change is the key. I must stay the course long enough for the other person to recognize the benefits of this new way of relating.

Will it be easy?

No.

Will it strengthen the relationship?

Absolutely.

Be open to noticing and celebrating what makes both of you healthier. Keep building a better you. Above all, stay in the new orbit.

Are you flying in a healthy relationship orbit?

Watch for the blind spots.