Not long ago, I spoke with an older man (Ralph) wrestling with whether to retire. He described his indecision as "sitting on the fence." This phrase captures a common struggle, being undecided or neutral about a choice. It often reflects an attempt to avoid conflict or uncertainty.
This man had spent so long analyzing his options—charts of future income, pros and cons lists—that his indecision left him even more confused and paralyzed.
Often, delays in making choices result in missed opportunities. When I avoid taking a stance, I also risk losing control, leaving others or external circumstances to decide for me. Over time, this pattern can erode my self-confidence, making it harder to trust my ability to make decisions in the future.
Being seen as noncommittal can damage my credibility, particularly in leadership or collaborative settings where decisiveness is valued.
Getting off the fence starts with managing anxiety and focusing on facts. The more precise my thinking, the easier it becomes to take a stance.
I have talked before about how heightened anxiety can diminish clear thinking. When anxiety is high, intellect is low. To help reduce Ralph's anxiety and bring clarity, I shared a simple strategy to use in any of life's dilemmas. Here are four questions that helped him organize his thoughts:
What do I know about retirement?
What do I not know about retirement?
What can I do about it?
What can I not do about it?
Writing down answers to these questions might seem simple, but it helped him gather facts, regain perspective, and arrive at a decision.
The process becomes much more effective when I thoughtfully engage with these questions. The more I write, the better this process works. As I write, my dilemma becomes clearer, shifting from anxiety to intellect helps me regain control, reduce stress, and build confidence to tackle life’s challenges.
How about you? Are you sitting on the fence in some arenas in your life?
Watch for the blind spots.
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