Missing skills and hidden beliefs are difficult to see yet are often painfully obvious to others. [Blind Spot]
Perhaps that lack of skill, that deeply rooted belief, or even that overused strength should be a catalyst to identify cues pertaining to how we show up to others.
I remember receiving a request from a man who felt something was off-kilter about his team, but he did not know how to pinpoint it. He was a senior manager, and everyone on his team seemed disjointed, unmotivated, and unhappy.
After asking several gently curious questions, I asked if we could speak with the people he worked with to see what he was doing right and well and what he could potentially do better.
The report gave us a complete picture of a blind spot that was present—we learned that he was in avoidance mode and not resolving conflict on his team.
If a disagreement surfaced in a meeting, he blew it off, “We can address that at a later date, what is pressing on our agenda?” Then he would “forget” to revisit the issue or make light of it implying it was not important.
When his department’s performance suffered, he blamed the team’s “personality issues” and they began to resent him and lost respect for his leadership.
Ouch!! When he heard “blind spot,” we immediately began to discuss opportunities to address; areas of personal deficit, irritable habits, and lack of emotional maturity that his team saw but he was completely blind.
This feedback was a huge eye-opener for him and showed several skill deficits that he began to work on and lean into. He recognized his blind spot and began to see how to manage, identify and resolve conflict within his team. He learned to ask gently curious questions, be a safe listener, and be supportive and mindful when he saw others’ blind spots and could safely address them.
“…we have to stay curious about our own blind spots and how to pull those issues into view, and we need to commit to helping the people we serve find their blind spots in a way that’s safe and supportive.” – Brene Brown
When blind spots emerge, they force us to confront the unvarnished truth in order to thrive.
There is one thing that is true about your blind spot and mine: it’s not what we don’t know; it’s what we don’t know we don’t know that causes us difficulties in our relationships.
Uncovering your blind spots is the catalyst to building a better you.
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Blind Spots in Relationships
What I don't know I don't know about myself