BUILD A BETTER YOU
JERRY D CLARK BLOG

Several years ago, we were invited to have Thanksgiving dinner with our neighbors. During the meal, the host ask us to talk about what we were thankful for. It was a great experience to declare our thankfulness and listen to others. I understand this is customary in many families. We live in a world of negativity and sometimes don’t recognize it. One of the best lessons I learned, was when I was picking up my friend from dialysis. I sat in the waiting room and listened to dia

Some time back, I was going to work. My route included a five-point intersection with a gas station sitting on one corner. I traveled this route for many years. As I made my turn and was about to pass the gas station, this old man (get this, me calling someone an old man) was exiting. Obviously, he was just pulling out without regard to my right of way and proximity. He had his blinker on and without stopping, proceeded into my lane. I thought he saw me after all he was enter

What a wonderful time of the year. The holidays are coming and tis’ the season to be jolly. Thanksgiving celebration is upcoming then followed quickly by Christmas. This is the time for getting together, sharing, building new memories, and celebrating the old. Time is quickly passing and it's important that we be thankful every day for who we are and how we've gotten here. As we gather joyously, laughing, and reconnecting during the season, there will be occasions when what I

I was talking to a gentleman whose son, Al, lives in his father's house alone. He lives about 15 miles away and comes over two times a week to buy groceries, clean, and cook for Al. Al did not finish high school, and at the age of 23, is legally allowed to drive but has chosen not to get a license. His only social connection is entertaining himself by playing video games with friends online and on social media. “I just don’t have time to do any chores like cleaning, trash, wa

I was reminded of a mother who complained of her son’s behavior, “I don’t know why little Horace is so violent—I’ve smacked him for it a thousand times.” We have a lot of blind spots that come from our childhood. After all, that’s where we learned about life from our family and we hang out in what is familiar. Feelings of being ashamed, less than, or unimportant, are all derived from our formative years, and we carry those things into our adulthood. We then protect them witho

I often hear statements that have to do with trying to accomplish something—trying to find a new job, trying to lose weight, or trying to be a better friend. For some reason, whenever I hear the word "try," I immediately think of "an attempt," "to make an effort," and "search.” All of these may result in positive outcomes but are more hopeful and less intentional than truly making a difference. I have “tried” many things in my life. In some, I succeeded and in others, I did n

I talk about blind spots in relationships because I feel so many relationships can be salvaged. It is so easy to look at the other person and see their mistakes but is very difficult to truly own our culpability. Have you ever thought of the price we pay for relationships that don't work or work minimally? With broken family relationships, when parents divorce, the collateral damage ripples throughout the family and friends. One of the things that I see that is most disturbin

Have you ever stumped your toe on a piece of furniture? The statement about seeing stars can come true. The feelings of frustration for not paying attention are extensive. Perhaps blaming someone who moved it without you knowing it is also easy. The pain of a busted toe is indescribable and, when this happens, I don’t want to look. If it hurt this bad, it means that it may have been actually knocked off. If not, it will be so mangled, I may need to have a tourniquet to stop t

Jody and Dawn gossiped a lot about their friends in their group. When recalling their pals' "inadequacies" and "oddities," the two of them laughed heartily. The gang had known each other for years, and for whatever reason, the gossip had persisted. They didn't stop to even consider why they gossiped or the repercussions of gossip. Recently, Jody realized that her pals may also be gossiping and spreading rumors about her. It is easy to project onto others the things we are doi

Missing skills and hidden beliefs are difficult to see yet are often painfully obvious to others. [Blind Spot] Perhaps that lack of skill, that deeply rooted belief, or even that overused strength should be a catalyst to identify cues pertaining to how we show up to others. I remember receiving a request from a man who felt something was off-kilter about his team, but he did not know how to pinpoint it. He was a senior manager, and everyone on his team seemed disjointed, unmo

I want to write about something a little different, another kind of blind spot for you to uncover. It is the blind spot of “natural gifting.” One of the joys of what I do is to assist people to recognize their natural gifts. When I point out these natural gifts I see in them, they don’t think there is anything special about these qualities. They are such a natural part of their personality and character, they just see them as “who they are.” “He or she is a natural…” it’s bui

I know the importance of reminders and today is a reminder of a blind spot that I see rear its ugly head day after day in my office. SHAME [SHām] NOUN 1. a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior: As I have mentioned, I grew up in West Texas in a family of six children. I was the fifth in line. I was small in stature, and we were not the wealthiest family around. Within the family, there was a lot of teasing, s

I must admit my own judgment, or misjudgment has gotten me into trouble too many times. I developed a false preconception due to bias, prejudice, and stereotyping. I hate it when I am wrong, especially about others. A couple of weeks ago, my friend Kevin asked to hear more about respect. I certainly appreciate these requests. I find it easier to relate to these types of inquiries by explaining what it means to me, and for me, it is easier to identify what things are by first

There are many definitions of pride. In this case, I’m using pride as related to being haughty or arrogant. This could mean that I'm better than you, that what I have is superior to what you have, or that I'm more important than you are, so please step aside. Yes, pride can be related to, I'm proud of my family or my team or my contributions, but I'm talking about pride that relates to arrogance, egoism, and a holier-than-thou attitude. Grace is the opposite. I'm referring to

Resentments are the quiet thoughts or feelings we harbor against another person because we consider them responsible for an act of indignation, animosity, or ill will. Susanne and Jeff, you may recall, have been married for about ten years with two children and have grown resentful of one other over time. Resentments surface when we are hurt or offended, and when we try to convey them, there is a refusal to listen. As a result, we go silent. Jeff has been attempting to let Su

Happy Wednesday. I want to thank you for joining me on this journey. For the better part of a year, I've been selecting topics to post about and guide us toward discovering and exposing blind spots and building a better you. Wow, the time has flown, and what a pleasure it is to share with you my story, strategies, and principles. I am reaching out to see how things are going and to see if there are any issues, concerns, or challenges you may be facing that you would like addi