When I try to fix someone, I often unintentionally send messages I never meant to send. My attempts can sound like, “You shouldn’t feel that way,” “You’re wrong,” “You’re overreacting,” or “You’re not capable of figuring this out.” I have learned that most people do not want to be fixed. They want to be understood.

The greatest gift I can offer my teammates, spouse, child, or friend is safe listening, the kind of listening that invites honesty, vulnerability, and connection. I’ve learned that safe listening isn’t about interrupting, correcting, defending, or fixing. It’s not about convincing or minimizing anyone’s experience. It’s simply listening with the intent to understand, rather than control the outcome.   I’ve noticed that when people feel unsafe, they shut down. They become guar

I have learned that emotional maturity involves listening beneath people's words. Spoken statements often carry deeper meaning. I picture it like an iceberg, where the visible part is small, but the bulk lies below the surface.   When I hear someone say, “You never listen to me,”  I remind myself that they are usually trying to express a deeper emotional need, not just a complaint about listening. I have learned that it often translates into emotional subtitles like, “I feel

Dead right shows up when accuracy matters more than connection, when correcting replaces understanding, when ego is protected at the expense of relationship, and when logic is used to invalidate emotion. It’s winning the argument while losing the person. The blind spot is believing that being right automatically means being good.

Blind spots are the behaviors we don’t see that quietly work against us. They are not flaws, sins, or character defects; they are unconscious habits that create unintended consequences.   Everyone has blind spots, even healthy, intelligent, and loving people. The real danger is not the blind spot itself but its invisibility. You can’t fix what you can’t see, and you can’t improve what you don’t recognize. Often, others notice our blind spots long before we ever do.   These un

Blind spots are invitations that quietly say, “Here is your next step in growth.” They point directly to where change will have the greatest impact.