January Is Not the Goal
The most dangerous time of the new year is not December 31; it is the first 30 days that follow. That is when my old patterns quietly reassert themselves, often disguised as motivation.
Jerry Clark
Dec 31, 20252 min read
Rest First
One of the greatest mistakes I make at the start of a new year is rushing toward change while still depleted. I tell myself, “This year will be different,” yet I begin tired, scattered, and emotionally thin. That is not a fresh start, it is burnout wearing a new calendar.
Jerry Clark
Dec 29, 20252 min read
Just Pause
Every poor decision I’ve ever made, and everyone I’ve watched couples make, had something in common: there was no pause. Anxiety drove the moment, while intellect rode in the trunk.
Jerry Clark
Dec 26, 20252 min read
Anxiety Takes Over
One of the most important truths I teach, whether in counseling, family work, or corporate leadership, is this: anxiety and intellect cannot operate at full strength simultaneously. When anxiety rises, intellect falls. When intellect rises, anxiety settles.
Jerry Clark
Dec 24, 20252 min read
When Christmas Gets Loud
The Christmas season has a way of turning up the volume on everything—expectations, old family patterns, financial pressure, travel stress, and unresolved history. When parents, spouses, or relatives feel overwhelmed or ineffective during the holidays, they often slip into a destructive pattern I call “going out of control to gain control.”
Jerry Clark
Dec 22, 20252 min read
What’s Not Being Said
Relationships do not fall apart because people speak; they fall apart because people stop listening, or more accurately, stop listening beneath the words.
Jerry Clark
Dec 19, 20252 min read
Blame Breaks Connection
When tension rises, most of us instinctively talk about the other person. We say things like, “You’re selfish,” “You never listen,” “You always do this,” or “You make me so mad.” These statements feel honest in the moment, but they almost always trigger defensiveness and escalate conflict. Blame may feel powerful, but it actually gives away control.
Jerry Clark
Dec 17, 20252 min read
Anger is the Messenger
Anger is rarely the primary problem. It is a secondary emotion, a reaction to something deeper, such as hurt, fear, disappointment, insecurity, or unresolved stress. When someone explodes, it is not because they are an “angry person,” but because something inside is hurting. Anger becomes the visible signal of invisible pain.
Jerry Clark
Dec 15, 20252 min read
Drop the ‘Why?’
In relationships, there is almost no faster path to defensiveness than the question “Why?”
Questions like “Why didn’t you call?”, “Why are you late?” or “Why did you say that?”
Jerry Clark
Dec 12, 20252 min read
Choose the Spirit
Have you ever noticed that every family has a spirit, a prevailing emotional climate that shapes how members talk, listen, and relate to one another? In some families, the spirit is peace. In others, its sarcasm, tension, chaos, or criticism.
Jerry Clark
Dec 10, 20251 min read
Stop the Rust
Have you ever noticed that resentments are like rust, slow, silent, and destructive? They don’t announce themselves with explosions; they show up in sighs, silence, avoidance, and the quiet pulling away that happens inch by inch. Most couples don’t fall apart from one big event. They drift because of a thousand minor disappointments left unspoken.
Jerry Clark
Dec 8, 20251 min read
Lead with Connection, Not Control
In every family, there’s a difference between the parent who manages tasks and the parent who builds connections. Emotional intelligence, not rules, routines, or IQ, is what makes a parent a true leader in the home.
Jerry Clark
Dec 5, 20251 min read
Lead With Calm, Not Chaos
Every family has moments when the children, or teenagers, take emotional control of the household. The youngest slams a door, the toddler melts down, the teen fires off sarcasm, and suddenly everyone else is reacting.
Jerry Clark
Dec 3, 20252 min read
Lead With Heart, Not Heat
In families, as in the workplace, emotional intelligence outranks raw intelligence. I’ve counseled countless parents who love their children deeply but struggle to manage the emotional climate of their home. Parenting isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about having the awareness to guide without controlling.
Jerry Clark
Dec 1, 20251 min read