When Christmas Gets Loud

The Christmas season has a way of turning up the volume on everything—expectations, old family patterns, financial pressure, travel stress, and unresolved history. When parents, spouses, or relatives feel overwhelmed or ineffective during the holidays, they often slip into a destructive pattern I call “going out of control to gain control.”

It usually shows up when anxiety spikes. Someone raises their voice about the schedule, the kids, the food, or “the way we’ve always done it.” Posture stiffens. Patience disappears. Logic fades. What was meant to be a moment of connection quietly becomes a contest for control.

The louder the voice, the more convinced someone feels they are “taking charge,” when in reality they are losing influence.

This behavior almost always comes from feeling powerless. Holiday gatherings have a way of reminding us where we feel unseen, unappreciated, or stretched too thin. What looks like strength is often fear wearing a festive disguise.

True control during Christmas doesn’t come from volume, guilt, or emotional force; it comes from self-control.

When one person slows down, lowers their voice, softens their body, and breathes, something remarkable happens. The emotional temperature drops. Intellect returns. Peace becomes possible again.

When someone you love starts to escalate this season, don’t match their energy. Model maturity. Stay grounded. Speak slowly. Let your calm presence be the loudest voice in the room.

Self-control is not weakness; it is authority. It protects relationships, preserves dignity, and keeps Christmas from becoming another memory of regret.

Watch for the blind spots, especially during the holidays.

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Author Jerry D. Clark has faced life’s challenges and created strategies for success—he’s eager to share his insights with you! 🎯