The Emperor in Me

Embarrassingly, I tell you this story. Years ago, I was in a leadership role at work. I was sharp, confident, and eager to make things happen. I spoke up often, offered solutions quickly, and made decisions without much hesitation. I believed I was doing well, carrying myself with clarity and conviction.

But over time, I started to notice something. In meetings, people would nod politely. They rarely pushed back or offered a different view. I assumed they agreed with me. The truth? They didn’t feel safe disagreeing. And I wasn’t inviting feedback; I was moving so fast that I never paused long enough to truly listen.

It wasn’t until a newer colleague quietly asked in a meeting, “Has anyone actually looked at the data on this?,” then things shifted. There was a pause. Then others began to speak up, respectfully, but honestly. It became clear that some of the things I had championed weren’t working. And people had known for a while.

I felt exposed, not attacked, but unmasked. I had been so focused on appearing capable that I hadn’t seen how alone I’d become in my decisions. I mistook silence for support. I believed I was leading, but I wasn’t connecting.

That experience reminded me of the fable “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” Not because I was arrogant, but because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I’d created an image of strength, and others didn’t want to be the one to break the illusion. But when someone finally did, it became one of the most critical moments in my growth.

Since then, I’ve learned to ask better questions. I listen more deeply. I check my assumptions. And I welcome honest feedback, not as a threat, but as a gift for personal growth.

This is so true for me today because leadership has more to do with emotional connection than knowledge.

Another way to look at today’s leadership isn’t about walking forward in pride. It is about having the humility to stop, listen, and walk forward together, this time with eyes wide open.

Watch for the blind spots.

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