We definitely teach others how to treat us in relationships. This can be a significant blind spot so hidden that we don’t even know it’s happening.
How often have you said, “I told you ten times to clean your room; take your shoes out of here; put up your backpack; clean up your mess?” This creates a situation I call “not having a voice.”
When you say what you want or need but the other person chooses to avoid you, you are participating in allowing disregard. You are contributing to the problem and the reason it persists.
Assertive statements are different than whining comments. You are demonstrating to people your seriousness about your request when you impose repercussions for a denied request. If it is not followed, there will be displeasure on their part.
Have you ever had someone treat you unfavorably and then do something kind or rewarding to make them feel better? Ouch! It is incredible how easy it is to turn the other cheek and get blindsided by someone we love and care for but is not responding in kind.
The Big Playbook refers to this, The Golden Rule, “Treat others as you want them to treat you.” Luke 6:31
Giving and enduring out of generosity might be excessive if you do not receive the same in return. If you allow poor treatment, then you should expect it. Overlooking some disregard may occasionally be appropriate, but continued disregard is out of the question. It is simple to blame the other person for the issue. Accepting your role in the experience, on the other hand, shows emotional maturity. When things are not going your way, look at what you contribute to the situation and what you can do to change it.
Too many times, I hear, “They just won’t listen, I’ve tried to tell them, but it doesn’t matter.” It is easy to give up in this situation. I encourage not letting the problem go because the longer it persists, the more difficult it is to get the response you need. Seek assistance, not resentment. Become proactive, not passive.
Remember, givers need to set good boundaries because takers have none.
Do you expect reasonable responses to your reasonable request?
Watch for the blind spots.
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Blind Spots in Relationships
What I don't know I don't know about myself
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