The Habit of Self-Beating-Up

I have found it is easy to fall into the habit of “self-beating-up.” The danger of automatic negative self-talk is that saying it long enough can lead to believing it.

Negative self-talk sounds like:

“Yeah, but I...”

“If only I had…”

“I’m such a failure.”

“I’ll never get it right.”

These statements may seem harmless initially, but they slowly carve deep grooves in my thinking, creating blind spots and limiting beliefs. Before long, I was trapped in self-doubt, not even realizing that I’d internalized other people’s criticisms as my truth.

It’s like the story of the frog in the boiling pot; if I stay too long in negativity, I don’t notice how much damage it’s doing until it’s too late.

Tough days are not the problem. They’re the training ground. Without them, I wouldn’t appreciate the good ones or feel the pride that comes from growth and resilience.

But as Jim Rohn wisely said, “It’s not what happens—it’s what you do about it.”

So, how do we stop majoring on your minuses?

Start by identifying 100 good things about yourself. Yes—100. Write them down. Don’t stop at ten. Keep going. You’ll be amazed at what comes to light when you go beyond the surface.

Then, create a mantra that affirms who you are and who you are becoming. A mantra is a short, powerful statement you can repeat, especially when those old doubts try to creep back in. Think of it as a breath prayer, something you whisper to yourself when you feel overwhelmed.

For example:

“I am strong, wise, and full of purpose.”

“I am courageous, resilient, and kind.”

“I face the wind—and rise.”

When we fill our minds with enough truth, lies lose their power. Say it often, believe it and live it daily.

Take stock of the good. Leave the “self-beating-up” behind. And every day, choose to build a better you.

Watch for the blind spots.

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