The Room Exhaled
- Jerry Clark
- Jun 5
- 2 min read
Some of us have confused seriousness with importance. For many years, I believed that if I wanted people to know something that mattered, I needed to become more intense, more focused, and more serious. What I eventually learned is that seriousness often communicates something very different. It can signal a threat.
When people sense a threat, even a subtle threat, their bodies respond.
Shoulders tighten. Breathing becomes shallow. Defenses go up. The ability to think clearly begins to diminish. I have seen this happen in counseling offices, boardrooms, churches, and around kitchen tables.
I remember a budget meeting during my years in telecommunications. Millions of dollars were at stake, and the atmosphere in the room felt heavy. Everyone seemed to be protecting their position. The tension was obvious. Instead of offering another argument or another piece of data, I made a joke about my days practicing Judo and my less-than-impressive athletic ability. The room laughed. More importantly, the room exhaled.
I made a joke about my days practicing Judo and my less-than-impressive athletic ability. The room laughed. More importantly, the room exhaled.
Something changed in that moment. People became more human and less defensive. The conversation became easier. Solutions appeared that had been hidden behind tension and self-protection.
I have come to believe that healthy humor is one of the most underrated leadership tools available.
It reminds us that we are people before we are opponents. The next time intensity begins to rise, I try not to push harder. Instead, I look for a way to bring a little humanity into the room. A shared laugh may not solve the problem, but it often creates the safety needed to solve it together.
Watch for the blind spots.
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