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Unheard Clanging Gong



Too many times, I hear these words, "I've said it a million times, but no one is listening, and there is no change." These words are usually muttered in frustration, a cry for help, a plea for understanding, and a desire to connect. It is truly exasperating to experience the feeling of desperately trying to convey a message only to have it seemingly fall on deaf ears.


I call it the unheard clanging gong.


On the other side of the conversation, I hear, "They are always griping and complaining and never give me a break." Wow, both parties are frustrated and upset with the other, and the conversation becomes noisy and silent simultaneously.


The feeling of being unheard can be an overwhelmingly isolated experience. Watching as others go about their lives, seemingly unaware of the importance of the message attempting to be delivered, is like shouting in a crowded room, only to be met with chilly stares.


As time goes on, the unheard clanging gong becomes disheartened and disenchanted. They begin to withdraw, feeling ignored, unimportant, and abandoned. The weight of their unheard words presses down, making them feel like they are carrying an invisible burden.


The experience of nagging and complaining sets up the justification for retreat and disengagement.


Then, the inevitable happens. The person who didn't hear the message is left surprised and bewildered when they find themselves alone or facing an unexpected turn of events. "Why didn't you tell me?" they ask, their confusion mirroring the unanswered cries of the unheard clanging gong.


It is the duty of the sender of the message to get the message across. Important information should be communicated through various mediums, such as speaking, writing, texting, or leaving a voicemail. If these attempts fail, consider involving another to help convey the message.


The unheard clanging gong reminds the listener of the importance of active listening and empathy in relational interactions. Hearing quiet voices and appreciating the significance of the messages hidden beneath the surface is essential in healthy relationships.


Improving communication through intentional speaking and active listening can help prevent frustration for the speaker and abrupt surprises for the listener.


How about you? Is there griping and complaining or an unheard clanging gong in your relationship?


Watch for the blind spots.





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