What Children Carry
- Jerry Clark
- Jan 23
- 1 min read
A parentified child is one who grows up too fast, taking responsibility for emotions, decisions, or roles that belong to the adults. This pattern is rarely intentional, but it is always harmful. I see it when a child becomes the peacemaker between parents, serves as emotional comfort for a lonely parent, or steps into adult responsibilities far too early. It also shows up when parents confide in a child instead of a spouse or friend, overshare adult problems, expect a child to manage the emotional climate of the home, or rely on one child to care for siblings because the adults are absent or overwhelmed.
When children carry adult anxieties, they lose the freedom to be children.
Play is replaced by pressure, curiosity by caution, and innocence by emotional responsibility. Over time, this creates adults who struggle with guilt, chronic anxiety, people-pleasing, or a tendency to over-function in relationships and work.
The antidote is simple but profound: parents reclaim the adult role.
Children do not need perfect parents; they need parents who lead. When adults handle their own emotions, solve problems together, and create emotional safety, children are no longer required to hold what was never theirs to carry.
When parents take back emotional responsibility, children can finally exhale.
They are free to be loud, silly, messy, and imperfect—the very freedoms that build healthy, confident adults. Let children be children, and they will grow into strong adults.
Watch for the blind spots.
See the bigger picture and transform your relationships. Get Blind Spots in Relationships today on Amazon, BN, BAM.
Comments