What I Don’t Know Hurts US

What are blind spots in relationships? They're the things I don't know I don't know about myself, such as habits, reactions, or patterns, so far out of awareness that I don't even recognize them. To me, they seem harmless or justified.

However, to others, blind spots can feel confusing, hurtful, or push them to argue or withdraw.

In my early years, I was hidden from the world, shy, reclusive, and afraid to be seen. After Marine Corps training, I became more confident in some areas of life yet still withdrawn in others. Shame and guilt shaped how I presented myself. I feared embarrassment and avoided mistakes at all costs, so I stayed quiet, tucked away in the corner.

As my anxiety grew, it needed an outlet, and too often, it spilled onto the ones I loved most. In my need to feel in control, I would go out of control to gain it. What an oxymoron, losing control to gain control.

That was a blind spot. I didn't realize how my need for control was driving people away from me.

I thought I was fixing the problem when, in truth, I was fueling it.

One of the most painful lessons I've learned is that my blind spots often destroy the relationships with the ones I want to love the most.  Blind spots are the unseen parts of myself that create the same distance I am trying to close.

Watch for the blind spots.

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