When the High Fades
- Jerry Clark
- Jan 12
- 1 min read
I often hear, “It used to be so good. What happened?” The answer isn’t complicated; it’s biological. Early romantic love floods the brain with dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and serotonin. It’s the brain’s version of champagne: everything sparkles, energy is high, and connection feels effortless.
The common misunderstanding is that when the champagne fades, the love has faded too. It hasn’t. What’s really happening is a transition.
Early love is driven by chemistry, while lasting love is built on commitment, skill, self-control, and emotional maturity.
In long-term relationships, the drug wears off, but the opportunity for a deeper connection actually grows. Problems arise when couples chase the early emotional highs instead of investing in the mature bond that replaces them.
They want the fireworks without the discipline required to sustain intimacy.
Healthy couples understand that the shift from “falling in love” to “building love” is natural and necessary. They lean into learning each other’s blind spots, practicing forgiveness, communicating clearly, and extending grace. They build trust slowly, reconnect often, choose one another daily, notice what the other is doing right, and intentionally fill the heart rather than the emotional voids.
Love that lasts isn’t accidental. It is constructed brick by brick, moment by moment.
Chemistry may begin relationships, but it is choice that sustains them.
Watch for the blind spots.
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Couldn’t agree more. The brickwall can easily be removed brick by brick but with continual building each day listening & communicating to each other the relationship will stand the test of time.