Your Signal Is Not a Command
- Jerry Clark
- 2 days ago
- 1 min read
I was dead right, and it cost me a relationship. I still think about it. That moment changed me. It taught me something I now share with every leader I work with.
My signal is data, not a command.
I have seen the same pattern play out hundreds of times in boardrooms, counseling rooms, and in my own life. When my pulse quickens and my thoughts begin to speed up, that is my check engine light. It is not telling me to act. It is telling me to pay attention. Because when my anxiety rises, my intellect falls, and when that happens, my decisions follow it down.
So, I practice the pause.
I slow my breathing. I lower my voice. Sometimes I sit down because lowering my eye level helps me regain control. Then I ask three simple words, help me understand. I am not trying to win. I am trying to stay connected.
I remember sitting with a CEO after a workplace fatality. His voice rose, his fists clenched, the tension filling the room. I sat down, lowered my voice, and said, help me understand. Within a minute, he sat down too. The entire room exhaled.
Now, when the pressure rises, I remind myself that my signal is data. Strength is not winning the argument. Strength is staying in the relationship.
Watch for the blind spots.
Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, BAM and learn more about how to identify yours today.
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