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“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, and forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”    Ephesians 4:32 In our current chaotic whirlwind, grace seems like a rare gem. God’s grace is free and abundant, requiring no price and impossible to earn. In our tumultuous times, the practice of grace feels like a rebellion against this overwhelming unrest. Grace in relationships means extending kindness, forgiveness, and understanding to others, even when they least deserve it.  [Blind Spot] It involves approaching interactions with empathy and compassion, maintaining a positive and respectful demeanor even amid conflict or disagreement. We all make mistakes, often hurting those we care about. [Blind Spot] The beauty lies in the ability to remain gracious.  Just as God’s grace is unearned, applying this in our relationships can be transformative. When one shows grace, it often inspires the other to reciprocate with love and appreciation. Practicing grace means avoiding judgment and criticism. It involves acknowledging our faults, making amends when necessary, and striving to improve. Grace in relationships profoundly impacts the quality of connection. It fosters trust, deepens emotional intimacy, and creates mutual respect and admiration. It also helps in resolving conflicts, promoting forgiveness and healing during strife. Ultimately, practicing grace requires prioritizing others' well-being and approaching interactions with kindness, compassion, and understanding. By doing so, we cultivate a deeper, more meaningful, and peaceful environment. How about you? How are you showing grace in these turbulent times? I know it's something I can always work on. Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your taking the time to like, share and comment. Your feedback is invaluable and I want to thank you. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Busyness can start innocently enough— a few extra tasks here, a little more time at work there. Before you know it, you're caught in a whirlwind of activity, barely able to catch your breath. This constant state of motion can blind you to the things that truly matter.   There's a song that goes, "I'm in a hurry to get things done, oooh I rush and rush until life's no fun..."  ending with, "I'm in a hurry and don't know why..."  This sentiment echoes the old saying, "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get..."   Busyness can be a [blind spot] that prevents you from recognizing what you desperately need. I know your to-do list is likely close by, packed with tasks, making it a very ‘busy’ day.   Sometimes, we know there's a better way to do things, but we feel so 'busy' that we don't even think we have the time to find it–so we keep going like we always have. [Blind Spot]   Busyness can creep up so subtly that you don’t realize what's happening until it's too late—a broken marriage, strained relationships, health scares, anxiety attacks. These are the devastating consequences of not addressing our ‘ busyness’.   What I want you to hear is this:  You have this one fantastic life. I don't want you to get up every morning feeling totally exhausted and defeated before it even begins.   Time is the greatest gift we have because it's the only thing we can never get back.   How you devote your time is how you devote your life.   Don’t let ‘busy’ steal your moments or rob you of the joy and fulfillment that comes from living a balanced and intentional life.   Happy Wednesday and remember to just breathe!   Watch for the blind spots.   Thanks for your feedback, please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Throughout my life, I've experienced the joy that anticipation brings. Looking forward to a vacation, starting a new job, the birth of my boys, reunions, and holidays fills me with excitement and enthusiastically propels me into the future.   The song "Anticipation" by Carly Simon captures this feeling of yearning for future moments and the eagerness accompanying it. Anticipation is a powerful and rewarding emotion, playing a significant role in building hope for the future. It creates a sense of excitement and expectation for positive or enjoyable events. This emotion is pleasurable and has profound psychological benefits, contributing to well-being and optimism.   Anticipation activates the brain's reward system.  When I look forward to something, my brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and motivation. This release creates a sense of happiness and excitement, enhancing our overall mood. Anticipating something enjoyable can be as pleasurable as the experience, sometimes even more so. This phenomenon highlights how looking forward to future events can bring immediate joy.   Anticipation also plays a crucial role in goal setting and motivation.   When I have something to look forward to, I am more likely to set goals and take proactive steps to achieve them. This perspective helps me stay focused and motivated, fostering a sense of purpose and direction. Knowing something positive is on the horizon can be a powerful motivator, pushing us to overcome challenges and stay committed to our objectives.   Anticipation builds hope for the future.  It stimulates my brain's reward system, enhancing motivation, and fostering a hopeful mindset, which is essential for resilience. When I anticipate positive outcomes, I develop the emotional strength to persevere through adversity, maintaining a positive outlook even in difficult times. This sense of anticipation is crucial for mental and emotional well-being, enriching my life and helping me navigate the complexities of existence with optimism and joy.   How about you? Do you have exciting plans that fill you with anticipation?   Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate you taking the time to like, share and comment.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Many years ago, I spoke with a young man who regularly listened to music with lyrics about violence, cop killing, and the positive effects of drugs. He firmly believed that this music did not influence his actions or beliefs, a perspective that contradicted my own views.   For me, music has an undeniable influence on my life, subtly shaping my choices and actions. I am certain that music impacts my moods, behaviors, and even decisions. Although I do not listen to a lot of music, upbeat songs elevate my spirits and make me feel optimistic, while slower, melancholic tunes evoke a sense of nostalgia or introspection. This emotional influence drives my choices, such as opting for a night out with friends after listening to lively dance tracks or choosing a quiet evening at home after being moved by an expressive ballad.   Music's tempo and rhythm also influence my physical actions. Fast-paced music with a strong beat enhances physical performance, making it a popular choice for workouts and sports activities. It increases my heart rate and adrenaline levels, pushing me to move faster and work harder. Conversely, calm, soothing music slows down my heart rate and promotes relaxation, often used in yoga, meditation, and even during bedtime routines.   I love religious, patriotic, and country music. The genres I prefer reflect and reinforce my identity, influencing the way I dress, the places I frequent, and the people I associate with. I rely on my kind of music for motivation and inspiration. This kind of music makes me a better man.   The music I listen to is more than just entertainment; it's a powerful influence on my daily life, well-being, and decision-making. It motivates me to exercise, helps me relax, calls me to my Lord and Savior, and shapes my social identities. Music is a potent force that guides and reflects who I am.   How about you? Does your music inspire and motivate you?   Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your time and feedback, thank you for liking, sharing and commenting.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I often talk to couples who unknowingly create distance in their relationships and struggle with reconciliation. Relationships can be a delicate balance, especially when one partner seeks connection, and the other isn't ready. This dynamic termed the " distancer-pursuer"  from The Gottman Institute, identifies how relationships can create a frustrating cycle.   Picture Ralph and Robin, once close but now drifting apart. Ralph feels the distance and decides it's time to make amends. He reaches out, but Robin isn't ready. She's still sorting through her feelings and needs more time.   Seeing Ralph's efforts, Robin starts to feel guilty. She values his attempts and decides to meet him halfway. By this time, though, Ralph is hurt by her initial rejection. He pouts and keeps his distance, thinking Robin should've been ready when he was.   Now, it's Ralph's turn to reflect. He realizes that pouting isn't helping. Tentatively, he reaches out to Robin again. But the dance continues—Robin hesitates, wary of being hurt again. They both blame each other, feeling they're doing their best while the other isn't reciprocating.   This ongoing dance is typical of the distancer-pursuer  relationship. One partner (the pursuer)  seeks closeness and connection, while the other (the distancer) needs space and time. This dynamic can go on indefinitely, with both feeling frustrated and misunderstood.   To break free from this pattern, one of them must stand still, emotionally and mentally,  allowing the other to connect without pressure. This act of patience and understanding can pave the way for genuine reconciliation. It takes courage to step out of the dance, to stop the back-and-forth, and to be present for each other.   By recognizing this dynamic and consciously trying to reconcile, Ralph and Robin can find their way back to each other. It won't be easy, but with patience and empathy, they can create a new rhythm  in their relationship, one that's harmonious and fulfilling.   How about you? Do you find yourself in the reconciliation dance?   Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for taking the time to provide feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I often have the privilege of meeting some of the most loving, generous, and kind-hearted people. Unfortunately, others, whom I call parasites,  can sometimes misuse these beautiful traits. Being too kind can lead to exploitation, and I often talk with folks who are exhausted and depleted from giving too much.   Unconsciously attracting parasitic people can be influenced by various personality traits, behaviors, and circumstances. Recognizing these patterns can help us break the cycle and foster healthier relationships.   If you have high levels of empathy, you possess a valuable trait that makes you naturally attuned to others' emotions and needs. However, this same trait can attract those who exploit kindness for their own gain. Parasitic individuals seek out empathetic people because they know they will find a willing and understanding ear. Your empathy is a strength, but it's important to protect it from those who would misuse it.   Not being able to set clear boundaries is another common way to attract parasitic people. When someone is too accommodating, saying "yes"  to everything signals to manipulators that you can be easily taken advantage of. Boundaries are essential in maintaining healthy relationships.   Individuals with low self-esteem might attract parasitic people because they may seek validation from external sources. Parasitic individuals can sense this vulnerability and use it to their advantage, often by offering flattery or false support, only to drain the person's energy and resources over time.   Parasitic individuals thrive in environments where they can operate without being challenged. A fear of confrontation  can make it difficult to stand up to these manipulators. If someone consistently avoids conflict and prioritizes peacekeeping, they may become a target for those looking to exploit their passivity.   Building self-awareness and resilience is crucial to avoid attracting parasitic individuals. Setting firm boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support from trusted friends or professionals can help. Strengthening self-esteem and learning to value one's own needs as much as others can create a more balanced dynamic in relationships, ultimately repelling those who seek to take advantage.   How about you? Are you in parasitic relationships, either acting as a host to parasites or being one yourself?   Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback, like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

🌟 I've always found joy in helping others. 👌 As a young boy, I once helped an elderly couple change a flat tire at Red Bluff Country Store near Lake Nasworthy. Thanks to my dad's teachings, it was an easy task for me. The old man was struggling in the heat, and when I jumped in to assist, he was pleasantly surprised. After changing the tire and putting the flat one in the trunk, he offered me a dollar and some change, which I politely declined. Watching them drive away, waving, I realized that what seemed like a simple task to me was a miracle for him. 🚗💕 As an older man, I've experienced similar moments where small acts of kindness from others have felt like miracles to me. Just yesterday, I struggled with a faulty garage door. After an hour of futile attempts to fix it, I called a repairman. My son helped lift the door so we could get the vehicles out, as the repairman wouldn't be available for a few days. What was an easy task for him was a tremendous help to me, and I felt grateful for his assistance—a small task for him but a miracle for me. 🔧😊 Ever notice how a simple smile from someone can lift your spirits? 😊 Or how a brief word of encouragement can turn your day around? 💬 Often taken for granted, these little things can create tiny miracles for others. 🌈 A handwritten note or a thoughtful text message can also work wonders. ✉️📱 In today's digital age, a personal touch can make all the difference, reminding recipients that they are important and cherished. 💌 Even offering help with small tasks, though minor, can ease burdens and bring a sense of relief. 🤝 When we all engage in these little acts of kindness, we create a ripple effect that can lead to significant, positive changes in the world around us. 🌍 Never underestimate the power of the small gifts in life – they can create miracles for others. ✨ How about you? Are you creating the miracles you're capable of? 💪 Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate you taking the time to like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I often talk about blind spots and the importance of listening to others' input. How is feedback something I need to heed or dismiss? The answer lies in the effectiveness of the relationship. If I'm attracting others, things are likely fine. If I'm repelling them, I must check for my blind spots.   It also boils down to exuding confidence versus arrogance. Confidence and arrogance might seem similar at first glance, but they are worlds apart in essence and impact. Understanding the distinction is crucial for personal growth and healthy interactions.   Confidence  stems from a genuine sense of self-assurance and self-worth. When I lead with confidence, I believe in my abilities without needing validation from others. I am comfortable in my skin, open to feedback, and willing to acknowledge mistakes. This humility allows me to grow and learn continuously. Confidence is attractive because it inspires trust and respect. When I'm confident, I exude a positive energy that encourages collaboration and fosters positive relationships.   Conversely, arrogance  is rooted in insecurity and a desire to appear superior. Springing from arrogance, I overestimate my abilities and dismiss the contributions of others. I seek constant validation and fear of being seen as flawed or inferior. This attitude can alienate colleagues and friends, as arrogance often manifests as condescension or dismissiveness. Rather than building others up, arrogant people tend to put others down to feel better about themselves.   The key differences between the two can be seen in behavior and mindset. A confident person celebrates others' successes and is not threatened by them. They listen actively and appreciate different perspectives. In contrast, an arrogant person sees others' achievements as competition and struggles to accept differing viewpoints. They dominate conversations and rarely show genuine interest in others.   In essence, confidence builds bridges, while arrogance builds walls. Striving for confidence means embracing vulnerability, continuous learning, and mutual respect. It's about knowing your worth without diminishing the value of others.   How about you? Are you confident or arrogant?   Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback, it means so much. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

A few months back, I chatted with a woman grappling with the harmful habit of constantly comparing herself to others. Unsurprisingly, she always felt she fell short. She opened up about being teased as a child, which shattered her confidence and impacted her current relationships. During our conversation, it became clear that she placed more value on others' opinions than her self-knowledge, leaving her trapped by negative comments.   We explored the phrase, "Don't measure yourself by someone else's yardstick."  This struck a chord with her, leading her to carry a small ruler in her purse as a reminder to assess herself based on her standards. This simple act symbolized her commitment to recognizing her true worth and helped her shift toward a more positive self-image. She also created and embraced this mantra: "I am a beautiful, intelligent, loving, and caring woman."   Letting others' negative opinions shape how I see myself is alarmingly easy. But here's the kicker— doing so can be downright hazardous to my mental and emotional well-being.   I feel inadequate or unworthy when I start believing the negative things others say. This erosion of self-confidence can hinder my ability to take on new challenges, stifling personal and professional growth.   Moreover, constantly internalizing negative feedback can lead to anxiety and depression. The more I dwell on unfavorable opinions, the deeper I feel hopeless and despair. This creates a vicious cycle that's tough to break free from.   I must remember that my view of myself should be based on my values and beliefs, not someone else's negative narrative. By fostering a positive self-image, I can protect my mental health and lead a more fulfilling life. So, next time negativity comes knocking, I let it bounce off my shield of self-confidence!   Interestingly enough,  I was in a sandwich shop for lunch a few days ago, and my friend walked in and stood in line to order. She nonchalantly reached into her purse and exposed her ruler. We both smiled.   How about you?  Do you allow others to dictate your value?   Watch for the blind spots.     Thank you for your feedback. Like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

One of my most significant blind spots was my relentless pursuit of details to prove others wrong. I found immense satisfaction in pointing out errors and discrepancies during conversations. I didn't realize my behavior came across as contentious and annoying, pushing people away. I often heard, "You are difficult to talk to," and would respond with what I thought was an eloquent rebuttal, but others found it repelling. Today, I call this "looking for fly poop in the pepper." As I began my journey of introspection, I uncovered this, among many other blind spots. Now, I understand the healing effect of being able to laugh at myself. Uncovering blind spots has become a constant and uplifting journey. Unknowingly, I thrived on the satisfaction of proving others wrong. Details were my domain, my weapon, and my shield. Ouch!  This is not easy to admit, yet it's so true. I saw the world as a puzzle, with every discrepancy being a piece that needed to be set right. Friends and family both admired and dreaded my tenacity. What I didn't realize was that my obsession was isolating me and pushing people away. I began to see how my pursuit of details had cost me friendships and strained my relationship with my family. It was liberating to realize that needing to be right often made others feel wrong, which I dreaded. Surprisingly, feeling wrong myself wasn't as bad as I thought. As my perspective shifted, I understood that my need to prove others wrong was less about the truth and more about my insecurities. I began to focus on collaboration instead of confrontation, aiming to understand rather than undermine. I discovered that sharing knowledge and learning from others is far more rewarding than proving them wrong. My journey has taught me that details are important, but so are the people behind them. My life has become more prosperous, not because of the facts I uncovered but because of my connections. How about you? Are you guilty of "looking for the fly poop in the pepper"? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

The various roles we assume in life greatly influence who we are. From spouse and parent to grandparent, friend, and Christian, each role comes with its own set of responsibilities and meaningful opportunities. I strive to be the best in all these aspects. How can I be the best example in these multifaceted roles?   Here are some tips and ideas that I have found helpful. Spouse To be a great spouse, I must demonstrate love, communicate openly, and provide unwavering support. It's crucial to prioritize my partner's needs and be fully present in our relationship. Showing appreciation, engaging in honest conversations, sharing responsibilities, and making time for intimacy and connection are all essential. Dad/Mom To be an exemplary father/mother: 1.  Offer unconditional love and support. 2. Be actively involved in your children's lives, from attending school events to sharing daily activities. 3.  Teach them by example—show kindness, patience, and integrity in your actions. 4.  Listen to them and guide them with wisdom and compassion. Grandparent As a grandparent, you provide love, wisdom, and stability. Be a source of comfort and guidance, offering a listening ear and gentle advice. Show them the importance of family and traditions. Friend Friendship requires trust, loyalty, and mutual respect. Be a dependable friend who listens and offers support. Celebrate your friends' successes and be there during tough times. Make time to connect through a phone call or a casual meetup. Show appreciation for their presence in your life. Christian Living as a Christian involves embodying Christ's teachings. Demonstrate love, kindness, and forgiveness in your daily life. Engage in regular prayer and reflection and be active in your faith community. Serve others selflessly and spread positivity and hope through your actions. It's not about perfection but about striving to be better each day. Your efforts, no matter how small, can profoundly impact those around you. How about you? Can you make improvements in the roles you play to make a big difference in those around you?   Watch for the blind spots.  Thanks for your feedback. Please like, share and comment.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to slip into laziness? I struggle with it. My brain is wired to seek comfort and avoid discomfort. Once I find a routine that feels safe and easy, it's hard to break free from it.   P.T. Barnum is credited with saying, "Comfort is the enemy of progress."  I've often grappled with this truth. While it's natural to seek comfort, staying there too long can be a major roadblock to personal and professional growth.   Here's why comfort zones can be dangerous and why stepping out of them is essential for real progress.   Comfort zones are like cozy blankets on a chilly day – they make me feel safe and secure. However, staying wrapped up in that blanket means missing new experiences, skills, and opportunities. When I get too comfortable, I avoid risks, challenges, and anything that might make me uncertain or anxious. I may find it harder to cope with life's inevitable difficulties without comfort. This avoidance can lead to stagnation, preventing me from reaching my full potential.   Comfort often leads to routine, and routine can dull my creativity. New ideas and innovation come from venturing into the unknown. I miss opportunities to learn new skills, meet new people, and experience growth by staying in my comfort zone. Facing challenges builds resilience.   To keep myself from staying too comfortable, I set small, written targets that challenge my limits and promote growth. In my book, I call this the "Weekly Display." Embracing small changes over time can lead to significant results. I also practice accepting what I might initially see as criticism, as it helps uncover blind spots that hinder my progress. Furthermore, recognizing the benefits of stepping out of my comfort zone and embracing change can be incredibly motivating.   How about you? While comfort feels wonderful, can you see how it can be the biggest enemy of your progress?   Watch for the blind spots.   Download a copy of The Weekly Display. Click on image below. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp