Self-regulation
People often believe self-regulation is simply a matter of discipline, grit, or work ethic. But I have come to believe something different. The ability to think clearly under pressure is closely linked to the state of the nervous system. When the body is overloaded, even highly capable people begin making poor decisions they would never make under normal circumstances.
Jerry Clark
May 292 min read
Am I Missing Something?
I used to believe difficult conversations were about finding the right argument, the right evidence, or the right explanation. If I could just explain myself clearly enough, surely the other person would finally understand me. What I did not realize was that the urgency itself was often the problem.
Jerry Clark
May 272 min read
The Empty Chair
Somewhere right now, there is a dinner table with an empty chair that has remained vacant for many years. That chair is not just a symbol. It represents a debt paid by someone who never came home.
Jerry Clark
May 251 min read
What Safe Listening Really Means
Over time, I have learned that listening beneath the words requires emotional maturity. It asks me to listen not only to the content, but also to the context. Not just the sentence, but the story behind the sentence.
Jerry Clark
May 222 min read
Listening Beneath Defensiveness
Safe listening is one of the most powerful relationship skills I have ever learned, and one of the rarest. For years, I thought listening meant staying quiet until it was my turn to speak. But safe listening is something much deeper.
Jerry Clark
May 201 min read
Fixing or Listening?
One of the biggest blind spots I have seen in relationships is the overwhelming urge to fix people. For years, I thought helping meant solving. If someone I loved was hurting, confused, anxious, or discouraged, I immediately moved into problem-solving mode. I gave advice. I tried to make the discomfort disappear. What I did not understand at the time was that fixing often brings relief, mostly to the fixer.
Jerry Clark
May 182 min read
When Kids Run the Home
Most anxious homes are homes where the child controls the emotional climate. Children were never designed to carry that kind of responsibility. They are meant to be guided by calm, steady leadership. When their emotions begin directing the household, everyone eventually feels the tension.
Jerry Clark
May 151 min read