I used to think leadership meant having the right answers. Then one of my team members said, “Jerry, you don’t listen, you don’t wait to respond.”  That stung. But it was true.   That day, I discovered that self-awareness is a mirror that talks back. It doesn’t just reflect my face; it reflects my impact. When I finally listened to that feedback, I saw how my defensiveness shut people down. I wasn’t leading with clarity; I was protecting my ego. That realization changed every

Years ago, I was talking to a couple. The wife asked, “Why do you walk out when we argue?”   He told her, “Because I don’t want to make it worse.”   She replied softly, “But when you just walk away, it does make it worse.”   That one sentence stopped him in his tracks. He thought he was keeping the peace, but he was really avoiding discomfort. Self-awareness revealed that his perceived calmness was actually control in disguise.   After discussing ways to look at himself with

Every team has one, the person who does it all. For years, that person was me.   I stayed late, fixed problems, carried the load, and told myself I was being dependable. But the truth was more complicated to face because I was over-functioning, driven by a blind spot that equated effort with worth.   I believed my hard work made the team stronger. In reality, it made them weaker. The more I did, the less others needed to do. I created dependency, not empowerment. My need to

Every team has that moment, the meeting where silence fills the room. I remember one project review where I asked, “Any feedback?” and heard nothing but the hum of the air conditioner. I took the silence as agreement. In truth, it was disengagement. Later, a team member confided that my tone and pace made others hesitant to speak up. My drive for efficiency had unintentionally created a sense of intimidation. I wanted progress, but my urgency made questions feel like delays a

Blind spots in teams and leadership are just as damaging as those in personal relationships, and sometimes even more so. They quietly erode trust, stifle collaboration, and create friction where unity should live. As a leader in the corporate world, I wasn’t as effective as I wanted to be. I believed that being right was the same as being respected, and if I wasn’t right, I was wrong. That belief drove me to argue, to prove myself, and to defend my position at all costs. In t

Emotional Maturity and Blind Spots Have you ever found yourself in an argument and later realized you were reacting from a place of emotional immaturity, like a younger, less aware version of yourself?  That moment is a powerful mirror. It reveals that emotional maturity isn’t just about age or experience; it’s about awareness and self-regulation. Emotional maturity means I can recognize what’s happening inside me and choose to respond or react from a place of self-control an

Poor communication is one of the most common and costly blind spots in relationships. Too often, I don’t see the habits that get in my own way. I may interrupt, tell “hero” stories to prove a point, talk too much, or listen only to respond instead of to understand. These behaviors may feel normal to me, yet they quietly push others away. Many won’t tell me I’ve been dismissive, self-centered, or offensive. They will withdraw. Ouch, that’s a blind spot. Being an effective co