Robin was having a dreary day. This was odd because she generally began her day with vigor. She decided to take a mental health day, rest, relax, and see if she could return to her former self because she was feeling rundown.
Ralph returns home from a long commute and day of work to find the house in a mess. He has little tolerance for this disarray but clenches his jaw and does not say anything initially. He had anticipated that Robin would welcome him home and the two would have a nice evening together.
As he continues gaining evidence about things that did not get done or that were not done well, he finally expresses his exasperation to Robin, "Looks like you had a productive day today."
"Ouch," Robin feels the bite of his words and stays quiet. Robin had anticipated that Ralph would return home and support her.
Ralph continues with a laugh and says, "What's the matter? Can't you take a joke?"
Robin is not in a joking mood. After all, he didn't know her day was miserable or even question if anything could happen to her. He was not thinking of her feelings or her experience of the day. He was in his world. [Blind Spot]
Ralph uses sarcasm as a passive-aggressive means of expressing his discontent. He made his first error in assuming that Robin simply sat around doing nothing. His second mistake was to express it with sarcasm.
Asking ourselves what our expectations are and conveying them to another is a great way to be understood.
This experience set the tone for the evening to be distant from each other rather than enjoy each other.
One of the definitions of sarcasm is to cut or tear flesh. Ouch!
Sarcasm is so culturally accepted that it is not viewed by some as hurtful in relationships. Others feel the cut and tear and don't speak up even though it is painful.
Most of us love a good joke. A joke means that everyone laughs. If all do not laugh, it falls into the sarcasm category.
Being intentional in bringing humor to a relationship is extremely healthy.
Do you lead with sarcasm or jokes?
Watch for the blind spots.
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Blind Spots in Relationships
What I don't know I don't know about Myself
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