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What will they say?

They were at a large gathering of friends and family. It was a spring outing, the weather was picturesque, there were lots of joyful people visiting and enjoying conversation.

Ralph stood up and asked all to be quiet. He wanted to tell them about Robin. It took him a few seconds to gather his composure. He said, “We have been together a long time. I have been blessed with a companion that has stuck with me through thick and thin. She has always taken the best care of me even when I didn’t know she was doing it. Our children could not have asked for a better mom, one who is fair and with great expectations. She was a mentor to us all. I could count on her to have my back and she saved me many times even times where I was totally unaware. She is resourceful in every way.

Wow! What amazing words to hear. It hasn't always been this good between them, but this is what Ralph wanted to portray about Robin.

Does the good outweigh the bad? It sounds like this is true for Ralph.

Remember, people use their experience of us to find words to talk about us.

When we consider the roles we play in our lives, we find that they are numerous. We are spouses, parents, siblings, peers, coworkers, neighbors, employees, employers, and countless others. What script are we writing for them to use? This is a great exercise in self-development.

Imagine the things that you would like to hear other people say and then remember we write their script. This is good and bad news. Good that we can use it going forward yet bad that we may have written unpleasant scripts in the past.

This allows us to look into the future and provide others with the experience we want them to use to talk about us. It is an unconscious idea that I think needs to be made conscious. It is important to identify the shortcomings, the resentments or things that are preventing the relationship to be in harmony and equally important to keep the compliments and good things spoken.

I happened to ask the question last week to a young couple who were having communication problems, “If you were both 95 years old and you had one last parting comment to make to the other, what would you say?”

He said, “It has been a great ride.”

She said, “I’m glad I met you.”

These words were spoken with such love and sincerity that they brought about a much-needed close experience, because the contents of their conversation before were contentious. It caused them to look at each other from a very different perspective.

Are you writing the script you want to hear? What do you want to hear as your parting words when you are 95+years old?

Watch for the blind spots!

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Blind Spots in Relationships

What I don't know I don't know about myself

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1 Comment

This one reminds me of a Nasrudin tale and this poem about something Robert Frost once said:

Thanks, Robert Frost

by David Ray from: Music of 'Time: Selected and New Poems

Do you have hope for the future?

someone asked Robert Frost, toward the end. Yes, and even for the past, he replied, that it will turn out to have been all right for what it was, something we can accept, mistakes made by the selves we had to be, not able to be, perhaps, what we wished, or what looking back half the time it seems

we could so easily have been, or ought... The future, yes, and even for the past,

that it will become something we can…

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