BUILD A BETTER YOU
JERRY D CLARK BLOG

In my parenting mode, I have said, “I have told you ten times to stop that or to get this done.” Does this sound familiar? Perhaps you have said the same thing. It is customary for me to use this kind of declaration when I feel that my request has been ignored. Subsequently, I follow up with, “why don’t you do what I asked?” It becomes easy to doubt my own credibility in this situation. I question whether my first nine requests come off as mere suggestions. When I am allowing

I recently heard a story of the man who approached the pearly gates and met St. Peter. Peter was so happy to see him and welcomed him in. As the man was looking at the amazing wonders of heaven, he noticed in the distance a massive warehouse. It looked somewhat out of place. He asked Peter what it was for, and Peter ignored his question. They continued to talk, and the man was full of questions that Peter answered freely. Every time the man asked about the massive storage bui

I want a nice job, house, car, family, friends, vacation, boat, etc. All of these are wonderful. Who doesn’t want these things? It is easy to look to the future with these desires. However, it is more difficult than it looks. Situations and others get in the way. If only life would allow me to do it my way and cooperate, I could have all these amazing things. I could wake up every morning with a smile and no emotional, physical, or financial pain. I could face the day with co

There are times I go out of control to gain control; this is when I am not being spiritual or intellectual at all. Many times, over the years, I have said and done things that produce harm to others. At that moment, I feel perfectly justified because they are not doing what I want, when I want it, as quickly as I want. In general, when I blow up and then cool down, I feel better, but those who have been the target of my bitter diatribe are reeling, not feeling good about them

I was talking to a gentleman whose son, Al, lives in his father's house alone. He lives about 15 miles away and comes over two times a week to buy groceries, clean, and cook for Al. Al did not finish high school, and at the age of 23, is legally allowed to drive but has chosen not to get a license. His only social connection is entertaining himself by playing video games with friends online and on social media. “I just don’t have time to do any chores like cleaning, trash, wa

I was reminded of a mother who complained of her son’s behavior, “I don’t know why little Horace is so violent—I’ve smacked him for it a thousand times.” We have a lot of blind spots that come from our childhood. After all, that’s where we learned about life from our family and we hang out in what is familiar. Feelings of being ashamed, less than, or unimportant, are all derived from our formative years, and we carry those things into our adulthood. We then protect them witho

I often hear statements that have to do with trying to accomplish something—trying to find a new job, trying to lose weight, or trying to be a better friend. For some reason, whenever I hear the word "try," I immediately think of "an attempt," "to make an effort," and "search.” All of these may result in positive outcomes but are more hopeful and less intentional than truly making a difference. I have “tried” many things in my life. In some, I succeeded and in others, I did n

I talk about blind spots in relationships because I feel so many relationships can be salvaged. It is so easy to look at the other person and see their mistakes but is very difficult to truly own our culpability. Have you ever thought of the price we pay for relationships that don't work or work minimally? With broken family relationships, when parents divorce, the collateral damage ripples throughout the family and friends. One of the things that I see that is most disturbin

Jody and Dawn gossiped a lot about their friends in their group. When recalling their pals' "inadequacies" and "oddities," the two of them laughed heartily. The gang had known each other for years, and for whatever reason, the gossip had persisted. They didn't stop to even consider why they gossiped or the repercussions of gossip. Recently, Jody realized that her pals may also be gossiping and spreading rumors about her. It is easy to project onto others the things we are doi

I want to write about something a little different, another kind of blind spot for you to uncover. It is the blind spot of “natural gifting.” One of the joys of what I do is to assist people to recognize their natural gifts. When I point out these natural gifts I see in them, they don’t think there is anything special about these qualities. They are such a natural part of their personality and character, they just see them as “who they are.” “He or she is a natural…” it’s bui

I know the importance of reminders and today is a reminder of a blind spot that I see rear its ugly head day after day in my office. SHAME [SHām] NOUN 1. a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior: As I have mentioned, I grew up in West Texas in a family of six children. I was the fifth in line. I was small in stature, and we were not the wealthiest family around. Within the family, there was a lot of teasing, s

I was privileged to work in a hospital setting getting the experience of all kinds of psychological matters. I facilitated multifamily groups of adolescents, children, and their parents. These children and adolescents were there for issues of behavior, drugs, alcohol, depression, anxiety, or other circumstances that cause life and families to be out of balance. Many wonderful things happen in multifamily groups that do not happen in regular family groups. In multifamily group

Yes, I recall the days driving my “beater car” down life's highway in San Angelo, Tx. The fenders were bent and dinged, the paint was rusted, and a couple of windows were cracked. It was a sight to behold. My “beater” bounced off guardrails, occasionally hitting the gravel just off the edge of the pavement, and I would hear it bang on the inside of the fenders. Now and again, my “beater” would skid into a ditch, and once or twice it had me headed in the opposite direction. In

You check your vehicle's tires, oil, and vital fluids for a reason. Unwanted wear and tear can result from a lack of attention. Marriages, also, require upkeep and care. Most couples enter marriage with engines revving and then discover that months or years later the relationship is idling, sputtering, knocking, squealing, stalling, or clunking. Imagine how many breakdowns in love, communication, and patience could have been avoided if a couple had taken the time to address t