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What does this mean? To me, “poverty" in relationships signifies a deficiency of emotional, mental, or spiritual richness in connections. I play many roles in life, and if I look at all of them, I can imagine there are some I could do a better job in. I am a husband, dad, uncle, grandfather, cousin, friend, leader, Christian, and the list goes on. How about you? Have you thought of the roles you play? As I look at my roles and ask myself, "Could I do better?"  The answer is, of course. I found it fascinating that sometimes I allow myself to live in relationship poverty. It's a tremendous blind spot, and I can see that my relationships could be better regardless of what role I play. It is fascinating that even though I know it, I generally don't make a plan to improve it. I look at my finances and see what I can do to improve my spending or savings. I look at where I live and what I drive and don't think twice about improving those two things. It is amazing that as important as relationships are, I spend very little time or attention on maintaining or building them. When I first meet someone, I put my best foot forward, showing the most polished version of myself. But over time— especially in long-term relationships —my more authentic, less polished side begins to surface. I can highlight myself as a victim in relationships. I can blame the other person, and when I blame, I don't have to change because I am not culpable in any way. What would it take to move my relationships from poverty to extraordinary? Sometimes, I have allowed myself to live more unhappy than joyful. What a tragedy. Do I want to continue to live in impoverished relationships, or do I want to go to work and build relationships that I feel proud to belong to? How about you? Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #RelationshipRealTalk, #EmotionalBankruptcy, #WakeUpCall, #BlindSpots, #GoDeeper, #FixTheRealStuff, #GrowthMindset, #FaithAndFire, #BreakTheCycle, #LevelUpLife, #ConnectionMatters, #NoMoreSurface, #OwnYourRole, #HeartCheck

I have often felt the need to do something, but then I allow fear to derail me, and I possibly miss out on many opportunities. Should I have asked for a raise, a promotion, or a transfer? Should I have stood up to someone who needed to hear my point of view? Did I extinguish my voice when I should have spoken up? How many times has my inner voice talked me down, and an opportunity was missed?   Fear has a way of constructing walls where there should be doors. It whispers doubts, magnifies risks, and convinces me that staying where I am is safer than stepping into the unknown. But doing so also keeps me stuck, holding me back from relief, progress, and the freedom I deeply crave.   I’ve learned that the real danger isn’t in trying and failing but never trying at all. I stagnate when I hold back, whether from fear of rejection, failure, or even success. Life moves forward, but I remain trapped behind the walls I’ve built. Ironically, the longer I stay behind them, the more I start to believe they’re unbreakable.   But what if those walls aren’t as solid as they seem? What if the only thing holding them up is the power I give them? The walls begin to crack whenever I push against fear, whether by taking a step, saying yes to an opportunity, or even admitting my hesitation.   I have a new way of dealing with my fears. Whenever fear tries to hold me back, I ask myself: Is this a fundamental limitation or one I’ve accepted as truth? Often, the only thing standing between me and the freedom I seek is the courage to overcome the fear instead of avoiding it. Looking back, I wish I had spoken up to so many things. Not because I regret missing the opportunity but because I now see how fear tricked me into believing I wasn’t ready. The truth?  I’m rarely fully  ready, but I grow by stepping forward anyway.   How about you? Is fear holding you back?   Watch for the blind spots.   Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #BreakTheWalls #FearIsALiar #CourageOverComfort #MindsetShift #DoItAfraid #GrowthOverFear #SpeakUpForYourself #FromFearToFreedom #PersonalGrowthJourney #InnerStrength

I am constantly looking for ways to improve myself. Becoming a better version of myself means not only learning new skills and adopting better habits but also letting go of what holds me back. Growth requires shedding the thoughts, behaviors, and patterns that keep me stuck.   One of the biggest things I need to give up is the need for approval. For too long, I let other people’s opinions dictate my choices, seeking validation instead of trusting my instincts. But the more I listen to my voice, the freer I become.   Along with approval, I must also release comfort that leads to complacency. Comfort feels good, but when I settle in for too long, it dulls my ambition. Real growth requires stepping into discomfort, taking risks, trying new things, and pushing beyond what’s familiar.   Another thing I need to let go of is the fear of failure. I’ve spent years avoiding mistakes as if failure was something to be ashamed of. But failure isn’t the enemy, it proves I’m stretching myself. Every setback is a lesson, and every lesson moves me forward. Closely tied to this is self-doubt, that persistent inner voice whispering, “You’re not ready,” “You’re not enough.”  For too long, doubt has kept me from fully stepping into my potential. It’s time to replace hesitation with belief.   I also need to release the stories that no longer serve me. I tell myself stories about who I am; some are empowering, and others are limiting. If I tell myself I’m “too old,” “not smart enough,” or “not capable,” I start living within those walls.   It’s time to rewrite my script.   And finally, I must let go of perfectionism. Waiting for the perfect moment, skill set, or condition is a trap that keeps me paralyzed. Growth happens through imperfect action, learning, and adjusting as I go.   Becoming a better me isn’t about adding more but subtracting what no longer serves me.   What must you let go of to step into your best self?   Watch for the blind spots. Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #ModernLeadership, #WixForLeaders, #VisionaryVoices, #LeadershipBlog, #FutureOfLeadership, #DigitalLeadership, #LeadWithPurpose, #EmpowermentBlog, #StrategyAndGrowth, #NextGenLeaders #WixTherapistWebsite, #CounselingBlog, #MarriageSupport, #FamilyHealing, #RelationshipAdvice, #TherapyTools, #OnlineCounselingTips, #MentalWellnessBlog, #HealingTogether, #WixForTherapists

Daniel, a retired NASA engineer, described sitting in his home office, gazing at the framed certificates on the walls. There were degrees, promotions, awards, and milestones of a distinguished career. Yet, instead of pride, he felt unexpected emptiness.   For years, he had worked tirelessly, chasing success, building stability, and achieving goals that once felt impossible. But now, something was missing, and he just couldn't put his finger on it.   We discussed a time in life when he might pause and ask, "What's next? " He may have settled into a rhythm that feels comfortable. Or maybe, without realizing it, he has slipped into stagnation, mistaking it for contentment.   We discussed that the moment we believe we've "arrived," we start fading into complacency.   So, where do I go from here, he asked.   Like Daniel, I have found comfort wonderful until it dulls my drive. It can be easy to think, "I've worked hard. I deserve to coast for a while. " While rest is necessary, staying in that mode too long leads to stagnation. Complacency whispers that I've done enough, and that growth is optional. But deep down, I know the truth: growth is a lifelong journey.   I find life is predictable. In the early stages, much energy is spent reaching for something, building a career, developing relationships, and finding financial security. The key is shifting from a mindset of achievement to one of expansion rather than simply accumulating,   Daniel and I discussed the following questions: How can I deepen my wisdom? How can I impact others in meaningful ways? How can I stretch beyond what I think I know?   Curiousness keeps me moving forward. What have I always wanted to explore? A new skill, a fresh perspective, an unexplored passion? When I engage with life as a learner, I never stop evolving.   Instead of seeing growth as something to chase, it becomes a natural part of who I am.   Where do you go from here when you reach that sense of accomplishment?   Watch for the blind spots.     Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp   Family Counseling, Marriage Therapy, 21st Century Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, Relationship Coaching, Mental Health Awareness, Leadership Tools, Personal Growth, Counseling and Leadership, Healthy Communication

I talk to many parents, and every parent or guardian wants the best for their child. They push them to work hard, be disciplined, and strive for excellence. But there's a fine line between encouraging a child to grow and pushing them so hard that it breaks their spirit. Learning the value of hard work and persistence promotes self-discipline. Understanding consequences and taking responsibility for action enhances accountability. Knowing that they can overcome challenges with effort and determination builds confidence. However, when discipline turns into excessive criticism, unrealistic expectations, or constant pressure, it can harm a child's self-esteem and manifest as signs of a broken spirit. Avoiding challenges due to anxiety over making mistakes produces fear of failure. Giving up easily or feeling like they'll never be "good enough" shows up as a loss of motivation. Becoming distant, anxious, or overly self-critical lends to   emotional withdrawal. My friend Bill told me this story about his son Noah, who loved basketball. He practiced for hours every afternoon, dreaming of making the school team. Bill, a former athlete, saw his potential and pushed him harder. He created extra drills, longer practice sessions, and constant feedback. At first, Noah was motivated. But soon, Bill's words became more critical than encouraging. One evening, after another exhausting practice, Noah sat on the bench, staring down at his sneakers. "Dad, I don't want to play anymore," Noah said quietly. Bill was stunned. "What do you mean? You love basketball!" "I used to," Noah admitted. "But now, it feels like I can never be good enough." With some assistance, Bill realized his mistake, and he softened. Instead of barking orders the next day, he played a one-on-one game with Noah, laughing and encouraging him. Noah's love for the game slowly returned after a few weeks of consistent praise and fun. Noah did not feel overwhelmed or not good enough; he felt supported. Pushing a child to be their best is essential, as is preserving their joy and self-worth. The goal isn't perfection; it's growth. How about you? Is your parenting about encouraging or pushing too hard? Watch for the blind spots.   Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #PositiveParenting 💪 #EncouragingGrowth 🌱 #ParentingJourney ❤️ #MindfulParenting 🧠 #ChildDevelopment 🚸 #RaisingConfidentKids #ParentingTips #SupportNotPressure #ParentingBlindSpots #HealthyMotivation

Chaos, uncertainty, worry, and fear, these emotions fuel anxiety, making life feel overwhelming and unmanageable. One phrase often emerges in the middle of a storm of racing thoughts: "I don't know."  While it might seem like an innocent admission of uncertainty, it often serves as a roadblock, keeping people stuck in their struggle rather than moving forward.   My friend Sarah's story about her good friend Emma is a good example. During a check-in call, Sarah asked Emma about her day. Emma said she was at her kitchen table, staring at the stack of bills she couldn't pay. Her mind swirled with worst-case scenarios: losing her apartment, disappointing her kids, and being judged by friends, even her best friend.   Sarah asked gently, "What's your plan?"   Emma went through all her worries and concerns and finished with a sigh. "I don't know."   Sarah paused. "Okay, but what's one small step you could take?"   Emma shrugged. "I don't know."   Sarah could hear the pain and frustration in Emma's voice. Emma wasn't just lacking answers; she was reinforcing her helplessness. The more she repeated, "I don't know,"  the deeper she sank into her anxiety. She wasn't searching for solutions; she was confirming that there were none.   When I say, "I don't know,"  I unknowingly give up my power. It feels like I am being honest, but it stops progress. Instead of exploring options, I declare that none exists.   What if, instead, we asked, "What can I do?"  or "What's one small step forward?"  These questions shift the mind from chaos to clarity. They create space for action rather than reinforcing fear.   For Emma, the change came when Sarah gently pushed back.   "If you did  know, what might you try?"   Emma hesitated, then sighed. "I guess I could ask my landlord for an extension."   That slight shift—from "I don't know"  to "I could" —changed everything.   When I feel stuck, the words I use matter. Instead of declaring uncertainty, I shift into possibility.  I am surprised at the answers that emerge.   How about you? Do you ever let "I don't know" become a roadblock?   Watch for the blind spots. Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #BreakThroughAnxiety, #SmallStepsBigChanges, #MindsetMatters, #FromChaosToClarity, #WordsHavePower, #OvercomeFear, #EmpoweredLiving, #ShiftYourMindset, #ClarityOverConfusion, #OneStepForward

When I deeply understand why  I am doing something, figuring out how  to do it becomes much more manageable. For the past two and a half years, I have written and published three posts every week. Some might call it discipline. Others might see it as commitment. But for me, writing is more than just a habit; it is a necessity. I write to keep myself on the straight and narrow path. It’s easy to drift, to let excuses or distractions pull me away from the person I strive to become. But when I put my thoughts into words, something powerful happens. My own words hold me accountable. When I write about courage, I must live courageously. When I encourage self-awareness, I must be willing to examine myself. Writing helps me build a better version of myself. But it’s not just about me. I write to open the door for others to grow as well. We all have blind spots, areas we don’t see in ourselves until life or someone else holds up a mirror. If my words can be that mirror for even one person, then the effort is worth it. I want my writing to invite people into the possibility of becoming more aware, fulfilled, and in tune with their own wisdom. I deeply understand  why  consistency comes. When I am clear on my purpose, the work feels less like a task and more like a calling. Writing is mine. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by how  to do something, I step back and reconnect with why I am doing it. Once my purpose is clear, the path forward becomes much more manageable. So, I will keep showing up three times a week, letting my words guide me toward growth and, hopefully, lighting the way for you to do the same. If you acknowledged your why, would your how-to become easier? Watch for the blind spots.   Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I recently talked to a couple who had been married for six years. They reported the luster of their relationship had faded. We discussed how when they first met, and the few years after marriage, they loved each other’s company, and now they tended to focus on each other’s blemishes that sometimes frustrate them.   I recalled a speaker who was talking about relationships and mentioned the Pareto Principle, which is a twist on the well-known 80/20 rule. It suggests that in any relationship, 80 percent of what we cherish comes from our partner’s strengths, while 20 percent comprises the flaws that might sometimes frustrate us. Over time, as relationships mature, it becomes all too easy to fixate on that 20 percent, the irritations, misunderstandings, and moments of disconnection, while overlooking the abundant 80 percent that nourishes love, support, and companionship.   When a relationship declines, the negative aspects can overshadow the positives. Minor annoyances and unresolved issues tend to magnify in our minds, creating a disproportionate sense of discontent. This mental habit can lead both partners to focus on what’s missing or wrong rather than remembering the qualities that once bound them together. The Preto principle reminds us that a relationship’s value is predominantly built on the good, even if a few flaws capture our attention.   The couple shared the early years of their relationship, and they reveled in 80 percent of shared dreams, laughter, and unwavering support. Over time, however, the persistent 20 percent cast a shadow. Robin grew frustrated by his forgetfulness regarding small details, while Ralph became irritated by her tendency to overreact to minor quirks. As both began concentrating on these negative habits, the balance of their relationship shifted, and the strong foundation they once celebrated started to crumble.   This illustrates a common pitfall: when fixating on the 20 percent, the overall beauty of the connection fades away. To rejuvenate the relationship, it is crucial to consciously celebrate the 80 percent shared memories, love, and everyday acts of kindness that define true partnership.   How about you? Is your relationship declining?    Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I have learned that emotional intelligence (EQ) is as crucial as intellectual ability (IQ) for effective communication. Even with a high IQ, without emotional maturity and being aware of and managing my emotions, the message I intend to convey can easily be distorted or lost. The ability to control and express my feelings healthily enhances relationships and improves outcomes in every situation.   A few years ago, I encountered a moment that underscored the importance of EQ. I was working on an important project with a colleague, and our differing approaches led to rising tension. Confident in my ideas and strategy, I was ready to steer the discussion. However, frustration bubbled up when my colleague challenged one of my proposals. Instead of taking a moment to listen and reflect, I snapped at him, dismissing his suggestions with biting sarcasm. I convinced myself it was just a joke, but I soon saw that my words had cut deep. His expression fell, and he withdrew into silence, effectively stalling our communication.   That evening, I reflected on the incident and realized that despite my sharp intellect, my failure to regulate my emotions had created an insurmountable barrier between us. It wasn’t merely a clash of ideas; my emotional immaturity had sabotaged our conversation and damaged our working relationship.   The next day, I apologized sincerely to my colleague, explaining that my reaction was a lapse in emotional control rather than a true reflection of my thoughts. This honest conversation became a turning point. We resumed a respectful, productive dialogue by addressing the underlying emotions and learning to value each other’s perspectives more fully.   This experience taught me that while IQ can drive innovative ideas and solutions, EQ is essential for conveying them effectively. Nurturing emotional intelligence means learning to manage my feelings so that my communication is clear, respectful, and ultimately successful in building strong, collaborative relationships.   How about you?   How effective is your EQ?   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I was a user of sarcasm until I finally realized the adverse effects of it. I often notice sarcasm in everyday conversations. Sometimes, it comes off as humor, but at other times, it can cut like a knife. I have used sarcasm, and when someone is offended, I hide behind the excuse, “It was just a joke.” By definition, sarcasm is a form of verbal irony where someone deliberately says the opposite of what they mean, usually in a mocking or cutting tone. While it might be intended as humor, the meaning often gets lost, and what’s meant as playful conversation can quickly become painful.   In close relationships, humor is crucial in easing tension and strengthening bonds. However, when sarcasm is used too frequently, it can have negative consequences. Instead of openly sharing genuine thoughts and emotions, partners may resort to sarcastic remarks to hide insecurities or deflect conflict. Over time, this indirect form of communication can leave me or the other feeling misunderstood and undervalued, with the sting of sarcastic comments building up resentment that overshadows any intended humor.   The obscurity of sarcasm also leads to confusion. A remark intended as a lighthearted jab might be interpreted as a harsh criticism. Without clear context, the true meaning is often lost, resulting in unnecessary conflicts and hurt feelings. This miscommunication makes it difficult for both of us to address the real issues at hand, as the humor of the moment distracts from the underlying emotional content.   Also, over-reliance on sarcasm can create emotional distance. When I habitually use sarcasm, the other may feel that their emotions are not being taken seriously, which can lead to withdrawal and guarded interactions. In the long run, this distancing erodes the intimacy and mutual support essential for a healthy relationship.   While sarcasm might seem harmless when injecting humor into interactions, its repeated use in close relationships can obscure true feelings, create confusion, and foster emotional distance. I now have learned that for my relationships to thrive, clear, sincere communication and honest vulnerability must replace sarcastic exchanges, ensuring that both of us feel truly valued and understood.   How about you? Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

We all have an internal compass, a guiding force that directs our decisions and interactions with the world. But like any compass, its accuracy depends on calibration, on whether we've consciously set it to our true north or allowed external forces to influence it.   My moral compass is set by self-awareness, lived experience, and an ongoing commitment to personal growth. These were not given to me fully formed; they were shaped and refined through decades of learning, both through formal education and the more profound lessons of life itself.   At my core, my compass is set towards integrity. I believe in speaking truthfully, acting sincerely, and aligning my choices with my values. This isn't always easy. There have been moments when convenience, fear, or uncertainty tempted me to veer off course. But I've learned that when I ignore my compass, the consequences, whether internal conflict or external fallout, are never worth the temporary relief of compromise.   Another key element of my compass is compassion. I've worked with countless individuals navigating personal struggles and seen the power of being seen and understood. Judgment creates distance; empathy builds bridges. I choose to err on the side of kindness, not because kindness is always deserved but because it aligns with who I want to be.   Then there is responsibility. I take ownership of my actions, my words, and my impact. I don't control much that happens in life, but I can control my response. Growth means continuously asking, Am I showing up as the person I aspire to be? If not, I apply a course correction.   Finally, there's wisdom, an ever-expanding awareness of what I don't know. Life has humbled me enough to realize that certainty is often an illusion. My moral compass remains set, but I keep an open mind, willing to refine my understanding as new insights emerge.   Have I set a moral compass with intention, or am I drifting on borrowed beliefs? For me, the choice is clear. I set my compass daily, with integrity, compassion, responsibility, and wisdom leading the way.   How about you? What calibrates your compass? Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Oh, to face my truth. It’s one thing to research a topic, but another to realize I’m in the middle of it. [Blind Spot]     I’ve been looking at the hazards of playing it small and can now see that I’ve been doing that: playing life safe, holding back, and waiting.   How often have I hesitated to speak up when I had something valuable to say? How often have I avoided opportunities, downplayed my strengths, or waited for the “perfect moment”?  Not because I lack ability but because I fear what stepping up might demand of me. Playing it small feels safe, but it keeps me stuck.   I’ve seen that fear of failure, rejection, or even success has been running the show. Stepping into my full potential means taking responsibility for my gifts, embracing visibility, and risking criticism. Growth demands discomfort.   But here’s my truth: playing it small doesn’t limit me; it also limits others. When I hold back, I deny the world the benefit of my talents, wisdom, and leadership. Someone out there needs what only I can offer.   In order to insure I am not playing it small: First, I must recognize the excuses I tell myself, “I’m not ready.” “Someone else can do it better.” “What if I fail?” These are fear-based thoughts, not truths. The key is acknowledging them without letting them dictate my actions.   Next, I need to take imperfect action. Waiting for the perfect moment is just procrastination. Growth happens in the doing, not the waiting. It’s okay to start messy, to feel afraid, and to make mistakes. What matters is moving forward.   I must also surround myself with people who inspire, challenge, and push me beyond my comfort zone. Their courage reminds me of my own.   Most importantly, I must own my values. I don’t need permission to take up space. My voice, my perspective, and my gifts matter. Playing it small won’t keep me safe; it will only keep me invisible.   How about you? Are you also playing it small?   Watch for the blind spots.   🔎  Struggling with Misunderstandings? Constant Confusion? Your blind spots could be the problem! Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp